-A mini play in two parts

Scene begins.... Corey Patterson walks into manager Dusty Baker's office holding a light bulb over his head. Baker sighs....

Baker - "What's up Corey?"

CP -  "I had an idea, Skip."

Baker - "I guessed that. What is it Corey?"

CP -  "I think I should hit leadoff. Vince Coleman said I should, and even though you, Gene Clines, Gary Matthews, and about a dozen other coaches told me that, I finally decided that Vince is right. I'm fast, you know.

Baker -  "You are that. You run out to your position as fast as that guy who played right field last year. I can't recall seeing you on the bases recently, but... what made you change your mind?"

CP  - "I've been playing myself on the PS2. I traded myself to the Cardinals and I'm batting leadoff and playing centerfield. Vince was a Cardinal, you know. Anyway, in the game, that Corey is really fast and the computer puts me in the leadoff spot.  So I decided I should hit leadoff. Can I? Can I?"

Baker - "(pauses) OK, dog, we'll give it a shot"

CP - "Groovy! I gotta go comb out my baby fro before the game now. You won't be sorry, skip. I can do a lot of damage at the top of the order. Vince said so!"

---- Intermission ----

Scene - Baker returns to his office following another heartbreaking loss. He lets out a bloodcurdling, Charlie Brown-esque scream as he slams the door shut. On a TV in the office, a talking head is speaking about Patterson, his "leadoff hitter", who just went 0-5 with four K's.

TV Guy - "And when he did make contact, his weak bloop turned into a forceout, hurting the Cubs comeback chances."

- Patterson knocks and enters the room. He seems calm and unflustered. -

CP - "Well Skip, what do you think? Not bad, eh? If that darn Jerry Hairston hadn't screwed up the play I would have had a hit. At least I scored a run."

Baker - (obviously straining to keep his cool) - Corey, Corey you struck out four times. It was nearly five. It might have been better if it had been. We have pitchers who hit better than that."

CP - "Yeah, Vince said I get a hat. A Golden Sobrero! I'll probably melt it down and make it into a nice No. 20 pendant. Or maybe just a picture of myself on a belt buckle. I'm excited. I have never gotten a sombero before. I think they are from Mexico."

Baker - "Corey.... I... I just don't know what to say. What do you think about a trip to Iowa? Just to work things out?"

CP- "Vince said you might say something like that, and he told me to say 'no'. He said if I went to Iowa I wouldn't get my sombrero. He said I could keep doing a lot of damage if stay in the big leagues. Oooh, look, Sponge-Bob is on! See you, Skip!."

--Patterson runs out the door. The camera pans past a slumped Baker and through the door and down a dark corridor, where a solitary figure has stood listening to the conversation. With a dark chuckle, the figure turns and walks down the corridor, his once speedy gate now hindered by now-ancient accident with a automatic tarp. The image fades as the camera settles on a red and gold ring that reads 1987 National League Champions.

- Finis -

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bleed Cubbie Blue

You must be a member of Bleed Cubbie Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleed Cubbie Blue. You should read them.

Join Bleed Cubbie Blue

You must be a member of Bleed Cubbie Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleed Cubbie Blue. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.