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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

6/20/06 Fecal League Update....

(From the Feces News Network) In tonight's marquis match up between the teams expected to meet in the playoffs for the coveted Golden cornCob, second place Pittsburgh  rallied from an early four run lead to lose 10-6 to the first place KC Royals picking up a full game in the standings, before a stunned KC crowd of about 40,000 fans cleverly disguised as empty seats.

Third-place Chicago Cubs resumed their drive for a playoff spot tonight by losing to Cleveland 4-2. Commissioneress Bertha Butt announced earlier today that the Cubs had agreed to settle a threatened suit by OSHA by requiring all fans sitting in the bleachers to purchase and wear helmets to protect them from opposition home run balls. This action was similar to the Cub response to an unfortunate incident in the infield earlier this year resulting in Cub infielders being required to wear helmets in the field. Recognizing a revenue source from the sale of helmets, Cub management said helmets would not be allowed to be brought in, but must be purchased with each bleacher ticket. Management also said that bleacher beer would also be sold by the helmet.

Fecal League Standings

Kansas City. 20 49 .290
Pittsburgh... 26 46 .361 (4.5)
Chicago...... 27 43 .386 (6.5)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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Is that a "Jason" marquis matchup?
I think the word you were looking for is "Marquee".

I'm kidding here, just in case you couldn't tell.

by Al Yellon on Jun 21, 2006 3:58 AM CDT reply actions  

Good catch...
...I couldn't figure out how to work in Mulder in honor of his performance last night, so I went with a teammate because there had to be a reference some way to the Cards pitching staff after giving up 20 runs.
"I was not in optimum condition to manage ," Dusty said. "I regret that lapse in judgment."

by Reverend Jim Ignatowski on Jun 21, 2006 7:36 AM CDT up reply actions  

What happened...
...to the rest of the Fecal League?

by FukudomeAtLarge on Jun 21, 2006 7:38 AM CDT reply actions  

Complete Standings...
.... Dude, I was a) too tired and b)thinking that a losing percentage of .600 or better was needed to qualify. Here are the expanded league standings:

Kansas City... 20 49 .290
Pittsburgh...... 26 46 .361 (4.5)
Chicago......... 27 43 .386 (6.5)
Tampa Bay.... 30 41 .423 (9)
Atlanta.......... 30 41 .423 (9)
L A Angels..... 31 40 .437 (10)

"I was not in optimum condition to manage ," Dusty said. "I regret that lapse in judgment."

by Reverend Jim Ignatowski on Jun 21, 2006 7:55 AM CDT up reply actions  

Angels...
....they're really falling out of contention...they need to lose some more games and fast.

by FukudomeAtLarge on Jun 21, 2006 9:23 AM CDT up reply actions  

lol
For some reason "losing percentage" really tickled my funny bone.  Good job.
Replace the ivy with hemlock

by jc60625 on Jun 21, 2006 2:10 PM CDT up reply actions  

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