An Open Letter To Kosuke Fukudome

Here's what I put into Google Translate to get what appears above the fold:

Greetings, Mr. Fukudome. I run the Chicago Cubs blog called "Bleed Cubbie Blue", a place where Cubs fans around the world meet to discuss the Cubs and baseball. Many of my readers, myself included, would like you to sign a contract to play for the Cubs. You are exactly what the Cubs need -- a left-handed hitting right fielder who plays excellent defense, who gets on base often by both hitting well and drawing walks, and who can hit a home run on occasion. In addition, the Cubs don't have anyone who is wearing the uniform number -- #1 -- that you wear in Japan. It's almost as if that number is being saved just for you. Chicago is a vibrant city, and even though there may not be as large a Japanese population here as in some other American cities, I am certain you would enjoy living and playing here. Please ask Tadahito Iguchi about his time in Chicago; I am certain he would tell you he enjoyed it immensely. I hope that soon, you and your agent will sit down with the Cubs' general manager, Jim Hendry, and discuss contract terms so that we can see you playing at Wrigley Field, as a member of the Cubs, this season and for years to come.

Respectfully, Al Yellon

When I put the Japanese text back into Google Translate, it came back... well, close, but not perfect:
Greetings, Mr. fukudome MASU. My running Chicago Cubs blog called "bleed cubbie blue" is the place to Cubs fans all over the world meet to discuss baseball and the Cubs. Many of my readers, myself included, want to sign the contract for you PUREKABUSUMASU. You just need Cubs - a left-handed hitting right fielder who plays good defense, who is often on base by drawing walks and hitting both well, and who have the opportunity to hit a home run. The Cubs do not have anyone in uniform but the number - # 1 - which, in Japan wear. It is almost as if you have the numbers just to be able to save them. Chicago City is a vibrant, in spite of there, but Japan's large-scale population here as some other American cities, I am certain that you will enjoy living here, in playing. Hick commissioned by the timing of the Chicago Inokuti In Commerce;? I believe he is very enjoyable. I hope to soon, you and your agent will sit down and the Cubs' general manager, JIMUHENDORI, and discuss the terms of the contract so it could be, you play please refer to RIGUREFIRUDO, the Cubs as a member of this season and for years to come.

Respectfully, Al yellon

It didn't do very well with "Tadahito Iguchi", oddly enough. But I particularly like "JIMUHENDORI".
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bleed Cubbie Blue

You must be a member of Bleed Cubbie Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleed Cubbie Blue. You should read them.

Join Bleed Cubbie Blue

You must be a member of Bleed Cubbie Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleed Cubbie Blue. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker