This is meant to be a little fun for opening day weekend. If you're like me, you only want the best for the Cubs, but every time something good happens, a little voice inside your head says "I wonder how they'll screw THIS up."
If those thoughts run through your head as well, we may as well have some fun with it. After all, this is the team of goats, black cats, Brant Brown, and Bartman--nothing should surprise us. So post your goofiest "only to the Cubs" projections below.