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Around SBN: Knicks Beat Lakers With Familiar Strategy

Respect for Your Enemies

This is Hilarious from our friend at Viva El Birds:

http://vivaelbirdos.com/story/2007/6/14/81448/1658

QUOTE

i swear (i am under a juror's oath, after all) the blog played at least an indirect role in dragging me into this mess --- er, i mean qualifying me for this civic duty. during voir dire, i stated that i make my living as a writer; the prosecuting attorney asked me what type of writing i do, and i gave him a quick description of my client base and said, "that's most of it" or something like that. "most of it," he says; "what's the rest of it?" "i also write a blog."

      Q: a blog? [raised eyebrow] about what?
      A: the st louis cardinals baseball team.
      Q: oh. [pause] how do you feel about mark mcgwire being kept out of the hall of fame?
      A: well, i'm not all that interested in the hall. but i do think he cheated with steroids.

i'm not making this up, now; this exchange really took place. (and i'd like to know how the court reporter rendered "mark mcgwire" on that freaky keypad of his.) i think my answer left the prosecutor saying to himself, hell yeah, i'll take this guy on my jury; he's ready to convict the hometown sports hero on nothing more than circumstantial evidence. then the defense attorney gets up there and says:

      Q: mr borowsky, how you can you be convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that mcgwire used steroids?
      A: i'm not convinced beyond a reasonable doubt.
      Q: but you said that you think he cheated with steroids.
      A: that's right --- i do think he cheated. but mcgwire's not on trial, so the beyond-a-reasonable-doubt standard doesn't really apply.
      Q: i see. so if you were judging him in a court of law, you'd apply a more rigorous standard of proof before you'd convict him --- is that correct?
      A: yes sir.

so now this guy wants me too; he's telling himself, borowsky will give a guy his day in court, even a guy who might look kinda guilty. but the defense attorney's not quite finished:

      Q: in the interest of full disclosure, i should tell you that i grew up on chicago's north side. [pause] knowing that, do you think you can give my client a fair trial?

all sorts of possible answers raced through my head: ask me on september 30, i'll let you know then. or: your client, yes. but if it were you on trial, probably not. or: that depends; what position does your client play? any one of those flippant answers might have gotten me off the hook; they don't usually like smartasses on juries, do they? but i didn't have the nerve, so rather than give the defense a reason to boot me off the panel i just mumbled some generic affirmative answer. score that one an error; neither side struck me, and as a result i have to shower and wear shoes for the rest of the week.

justice sucks.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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A bizarre courtroom exchange indeed...
...and it just goes to show that, if an attorney wants you on his or her jury, you can say just about anything and you'll get picked.

I was selected for jury duty here in Chicago about five or six years ago. I stutter and, during jury selection, I was so nervous I could barely spit out three or four coherent words.

I was sure they would let me go but, sure enough, I got selected. Fortunately, the case was pretty straightforward and wrapped up the next day. I must admit, it was an interesting experience.

Justice for Ted Lilly! Justice for Mike Fontenot!

by daver on Jun 15, 2007 10:22 AM CDT reply actions  

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