It was about an inning after the Cubs stopped producing runs after DeRosa’s HR that I started to sweat. Because I also like you had this maddening premonition that this was going to be a fluke .. it was negativity I passionately rejected. But when Dempster melted down and gave up the grand slam, I knew that for some reason .. things just went into surreal territory.

And I said .. oh, crap .. not again …

Maybe bcuz ive been a Cubs fan my whole life it has taught me to see the glass half full. We have to look on the bright side, 1) We made it to the playoffs two years in a row 2) Our franchise is turning things around. At least we are not the pirates or the royals or even the reds, franchises who haven’t been to the playoffs or even finished above .500 since God knows when. We will continue to be a contender and we will win it all in our lifetimes

I understand how you’d feel that way. I did watch the entire games with unrelenting hope, but I also had a sinking feeling throughout. 2003 was still the deepest hurt for me as a fan, a hurt that I haven’t totally let go of, but this year to me was the biggest disappointment. After Big Z’s no hitter, I really started to think that something special could happen to this team. Oh well, as the proverbial Cubs’ fan saying goes, “there’s always next year”.

ha, I sound like Dr. Phil….

But honestly I give you credit for realizing you shouldn’t expect the worst every time you watch the Cubs, especially in the postseason. I vowed to never get as violently angry in public as I did during Game 6 in 2003, so my solution was to not watch/listen/follow any postseason games until the Cubs were an out away from clinching the pennant.

It would be better for me to just not get so upset and stop worrying about the other shoe dropping, but I’m not there yet. Hopefully someday soon. It’s no fun feeling so jaded and scarred from the events of five years ago, but like a jilted lover I still need time to get over the anxiety and fear of getting kicked all over again.

Because the Cubs did so horribly against the D-Backs in the ’07 division series, I was extremely worried when the bottom dropped out in the fifth inning of game one in the ’08 division series.

Cubs fans of my age don’t worry too much about good Cubs teams making the playoffs. We sure worry ourselves sick about the Cubs when they are playing in the playoffs.

I’ll always remember Russell Martin’s bases clearing double in Game 2 as the exact moment in time when I gave up hope. I said to myself, out loud, “So this is how it ends.” And so it did.

I can’t help but think that, had the infield played sounder defense that inning, Big Z would have gotten out of it and – who knows – maybe the offense would have found a way to put up a few runs and Carlos would have settled in and… OK, that probably wouldn’t have happened with the way Billingsley was pitching. But, hey, it’s fun to dream.

Demp for game 1 was OK. I’m pissed the pitching coach didn’t try to do anything before the horse got out of the barn but with him he’s always a day late and a dollar short (sorry for the rants). Who’d knew Demp would walk 7. DeRo had that 2-run shot right down the RF line in the 2nd and I’m like, alright let’s go boys, just play ball.

The eerie feeling fell over when Loney hit the granny, but again Demp had control issues the whole game except the 4th inning. Where were the coaches? Forget the talks between defencive innings when he’s on the bench. Go see him on the mound before he’s in deep doodie. May not have made a bit of difference but why not try to change to feel of the game before it got out of control?

I was at game 2. First time in my adult life I’ve been very, very close to the field. One word for the team when they were in the field defencively: TIGHT I could see it in their body language, their facial expressions, everything. Even routine pop-ups, like the one between DeRo and D-Lee seemed to be an adventure. That grounder to Lee (not really trying to pick on him but face it, he IS the best defender of the 4 that made errors that night) is made 10/10 times in the regular season. He simply just doesn’t do that.

When the lead went to 6-0 in game 2 that was pretty much it for me. The momentum was so far in LA’s favor, no way could the Cubs come back. And the biggest intangible in LA’s favor? The manager, Joe Torre. He knew exactly what had to be done, and their entire team executed to perfection. They let the Cubs beat the Cubs. They were patient at the plate, very patient. They were very selective at the plate and they hustled all the way.

My favorite play (as a baseball fan) was Furcal’s bunt. He couldn’t have thrown the ball that direction any better. Smart call, excellent execution and speed; ah that nasty word speed; the tool that never slumps.