A slugging lefty is available, and his name is Barry Bonds

Trashslingers TMZ caught up with Bond outside a nightclub, apparently in LA, and he insists he is not retiring. So no thank you, Milton Bradley. You're done, Adam Dunn. We don't need ya, Jeremy Hermida. A slugging lefty par excellence is available.

over 3 years ago daver 12 comments 0 recs |

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He may not be retired...

…but he sure ain’t working.

"Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush! So what do you want?"
"What, so my choice is 'or death?' Well, then I'll have the chicken, please."
--Eddie Izzard

by znohitter on Dec 15, 2008 1:15 PM CST reply actions

Good God no!

As a resident of the greater San Francisco Bay Area please do not open this can of worms. The guy is a cancer and does not deserve to wear the blue pinstripes nor call Wrigley Field his home no matter how many homeruns he can bang from the left side.

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cheshire Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

by Hagen on Dec 15, 2008 1:32 PM CST reply actions

Dateline December 15, 2038

74-year-old Barry Bonds was interviewed in his wheelchair at the Shady Farms Rest Home in Garden Grove, California. He insisted he wasn’t retiring, even though he hadn’t played baseball in 31 years.

No thanks.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al Yellon on Dec 15, 2008 4:35 PM CST reply actions

74?

He’s probably a tad hard-livin’ to see that dateline.

"Thank god I threw out my belt & shoelaces."-Bernies Mustache Wax on Evil BCB, 7/31/08

by Bildo1805 on Dec 16, 2008 10:14 AM CST up reply actions

Well, that's why I said "wheelchair".

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al Yellon on Dec 16, 2008 8:43 PM CST up reply actions

We could only be so lucky..

I love Bonds, always have. Sandberg was ridiculed by Cub fans some years ago for defending Bonds. Point is, We could sign Bonds for almost nothing. He’’d be an improvement to our current LH batter…so I ask the question why not? And please spare me the steroids bs…Sosa was on Steroids too and we had him for 12 years.

by Glen Bishop on Dec 15, 2008 7:56 PM CST reply actions

A bold statement.

To be honest, I was mostly joking about Bonds. I think just about every major league team considers him toxic at this point and won’t touch him. I can’t believe Hendry would want to endure the circus that would erupt if he signed Barry.

Plus, even though I support the idea of signing Adam Dunn (if the Cubs go the way of a big name free agent), I’m not sure I can stomach the idea of Barry playing right field at Wrigley. Now if Soriano agreed to move to right…hmm…

Yes, yes ... winter is indeed a pond upon which all of us must skate, braving frostbite and runny noses in the hopes that our cars will start and we shan't embarass ourselves slipping on a patch of black ice. Spring is more a quagmire of cold mud and slush, and fall is a pile of fallen leaves that may or may not hide a pile of doggy doo-doo. But summer, ah summer is an oasis of endless green that disappears all too quickly beneath our feet as we rush through its warm, glorious bliss.

by daver on Dec 16, 2008 9:34 AM CST up reply actions

i can see it now .. opening day at Wrigley when Barroid runs out

.. he snags his toe in the edge of the turf as he runs to the outfield, does a tumble and comes up clutching his knee.

He is then day to day for the rest of his one year contract .. and the Cubs will have to eat a million bucks for him to sit in the whirlpool.

Sounds good to me. Let’s sign him up.

Well, Next Year is here .. and Jack's century's gotta end some time .. GO CUBBIES!

by cubnational on Dec 15, 2008 10:35 PM CST reply actions

I agree

I’ve been saying this since Soriano went down last year. We probably could have used a LH power bat in the playoffs against the Dodgers. There just wasn’t a good reason we got swept with the greatest LH hitter of all time sitting at home unemployed.

by cubfan2201 on Dec 16, 2008 7:55 AM CST reply actions

Agree

by Glen Bishop on Dec 16, 2008 8:08 AM CST up reply actions

I'll confess that, since the horrific end of the '08 NLDS...

…I’ve played a fantasy in my head of the Cubs signing Bonds in late September specifically for the playoffs. I’m not sure whether that would have been allowed under MLB rules, but imagine the insane media frenzy that would have triggered. Barroid v. Manny in a knockdown, dragout battle of egos and slugging percentage. Could it have made a difference? Maybe.

by daver on Dec 16, 2008 9:38 AM CST up reply actions

I think

as long as he was signed by mid-late August he was eligible for the post season roster. I think he can replace someone who is injured as well. The latter is how K-Rod made the roster in ’02.

by cubfan2201 on Dec 16, 2008 10:23 AM CST up reply actions