What To Get For Christmas (Or Hanukkah, In The Case Of Jason Marquis) For The Cub Who Has Everything

by Al on Dec 21, 2008 1:00 PM CST in News Comment 60 comments

It's getting to be shopping crunch time, with Hanukkah's first night tonight, and Christmas coming up on Thursday.

So I'm going to open this up to all of you. If you were going to buy a gift for the guys on our favorite team, what would you get?

Try to keep it sort of baseball related. Oh, and clean. Here, I'll start. For Kosuke Fukudome, a high-end webcam system so he can keep in touch with his family in Japan. Maybe that'll make him less homesick and he can focus more on hitting. (Maybe we should also get him a corkscrew, so he can unscrew himself from the ground after one of his K's.)

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a mini-trampoline for Soriano

so he can get all the hopping out of his system before the game…

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Dec 21, 2008 1:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Maybe Gathright can use it to hop over him!

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 21, 2008 2:03 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For all the Cubs, I give them a gift of a spatula

…to scrape up my heart off the ground after they’ve finished stomping on it again in 2009…

…sigh…

Why do I give them my heart every year? Because I’m a Cubs fan.

As Rocky said to Bullwinkle: “This time for SURE”!

CUBS WIN IN 2009!

Go Green! Go White! GO STATE! (Now #12,966 on the Cubs season ticket waiting list- UP from 13,031...WHOO HOO!)

by Zeke on Dec 21, 2008 1:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Soriano

endless hours of family fun!

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." ~Arthur C. Clarke

by Goodie1969 on Dec 21, 2008 1:15 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ryan Theriot

A nice heaping service of homestyle grits.

Chicago Cubs Humor, News and Parody at The Cubs Brickyard

by AceCubbie on Dec 21, 2008 1:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

with a side of "Power to the Gaps"

I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com

by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:03 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

And a glass of "range to the right"

Its going to be a BLou Chistmas...

by Tate491 on Dec 22, 2008 11:44 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

And a dose of "baserunning skill"

"Hats for bats.....keep bats warm." - Pedro Cerrano
"Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill !!!!!!!" - Eddie Harris

by willie mays hayes' gloves on Dec 22, 2008 1:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

And when he's finished, all that will be left are...

… scraps.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 22, 2008 3:56 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For Geo Soto

a sprig of mistletoe ;-)

"Truth does not do as much good in the world as the semblance of truth does evil," - Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 64.

by Emelie on Dec 21, 2008 1:39 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

hee :D

by sue369 on Dec 21, 2008 2:13 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

love it

by Madison Cub Fan on Dec 21, 2008 6:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For Jason Marquis

A new home in a new city.

Bob Howry: Ruining Baseball Since 2008

by The Original Dave on Dec 21, 2008 1:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Lou,

a left handed bat.

Bleed Cubbie Blue: Like Drāno for your internet tubes.

by znohitter on Dec 21, 2008 1:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

:)

Very good

by leothelip on Dec 21, 2008 3:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For Marmol

An extra arm just in case his stops working

A ugly win is better than a pretty loss-Lou

by NIUcubbie on Dec 21, 2008 1:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ted Lilly...

one game where Lou bats him 8th…

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Dec 21, 2008 2:02 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Or first!

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 21, 2008 2:03 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

A heater

To help their bats from going cold in the post season

"Pounding sand since 1982...."

by cubswynn on Dec 21, 2008 2:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For DLee

a new powerful bat to hit lots of homeruns this next season.

by sue369 on Dec 21, 2008 2:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Rich Hill

A GPS system for his arm to locate the strike zone

BCB Works Miracles: It saved my English grade!

by Chanman25 on Dec 21, 2008 2:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

:-) good one

by sue369 on Dec 21, 2008 2:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For The Hawk

A plaque in the Hall of Fame (wearing a Cubs hat of course.)

Old Style is the nectar of life.

by Mordecai on Dec 21, 2008 2:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

This is for Derrek Lee

by lexmarklover on Dec 21, 2008 2:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I thought KF's family moved to Chicago midseason?

"Thank god I threw out my belt & shoelaces."-Bernies Mustache Wax on Evil BCB, 7/31/08

by Bildo1805 on Dec 21, 2008 3:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

No, they were in town for about a month...

… then they went back to Japan.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 21, 2008 3:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For Ryan Dempster

an automatic rotating glove.

"Yes, dear. You're right. I'm sorry." -Bob Brenly

by ambrosiadreams on Dec 21, 2008 4:24 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For the entire Cubs bullpen

Another pink backpack to give to Kerry Wood the first time he has to walk to the opposing team’s bullpen in an Indians uniform

by MissouriKev on Dec 21, 2008 4:25 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Lou

A nice new, slow. gas guzzling car WITHOUT GPS , a lot of outdated maps in the glove compartment and an
overwhelming desire to drive to all road trips on his own ( more time to think about how many players he can use in one inning). The more games he manages to miss, the better off for everyone.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry

by Doggie Stalker on Dec 21, 2008 4:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Kevin Gregg

throw strikes, keep the ball in the park, ERA in the 2.00’s an uglier glasses.

"Have You heard of the Boom on Mizar 5?"

by Grockcubs on Dec 21, 2008 5:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ron Santo

A recount after tossing out a few ballots, and the knowledge that his toupee will be never again eaten by the ventilation system at Shea Stadium.

Bleed Cubbie Blue: Like Drāno for your internet tubes.

by znohitter on Dec 21, 2008 5:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Reed Johnson

a cap with the bill folded up in honor of his catch in Washington.

"Yes, dear. You're right. I'm sorry." -Bob Brenly

by ambrosiadreams on Dec 21, 2008 5:18 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

one of my fav. moments from 2008

I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com

by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

mine too

by sue369 on Dec 22, 2008 10:13 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

+1

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 22, 2008 10:13 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For the former Cub who has everything....

A pair of rubber gloves for Cesar Izturis…

by 10 14 23 26 on Dec 21, 2008 5:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ramirez

For Ramirez some brains for the Chicago writers who are trying to run him out of town.

Barbara V. October 14, 1941 - December 19, 2008. A great lady who was a friend to all and like a second mom to her children's friends (she was my best friend's mom)

by cubstoseriesby100 on Dec 21, 2008 6:24 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Big Z...

a couple of Gatorade coolers that he can smash BEFORE every game to get his anger out

Oh Baby!

by cubswgnrocks on Dec 21, 2008 6:56 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

And...

a drywall repair kit for the wall near the steps in the Cubs clubhouse!

by queenmamarah1 on Dec 22, 2008 3:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For Mark Derosa

a Catcher’s Mitt to complete his collection…

For DLee…
A Few more seeing eye singles and few more fly balls.

For Geo …
Some Sticky Gloves

For Reed Johnson…
An 09 Playoff AB…

And last but not least…
A Candian Free Disabled List in 09…

"When two Whales Fight, many Shrimp Die" - Korean Proverb

by TheRiot Police on Dec 21, 2008 9:10 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

haha

I like the sticky gloves for Geo!

"Yes, dear. You're right. I'm sorry." -Bob Brenly

by ambrosiadreams on Dec 21, 2008 10:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

i'd get Soriano

one of those alerts that go on cars when you’re about to hit something. this would come in handy for when he goes back on balls towards the wall

by DartmouthCubsFan on Dec 21, 2008 9:31 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I would get Lou hooked up with the Kerry Wood diet

I’m a little worried about his health and the strength of those jersey buttons…….

Its going to be a BLou Chistmas...

by Tate491 on Dec 21, 2008 9:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

+1

"Truth does not do as much good in the world as the semblance of truth does evil," - Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 64.

by Emelie on Dec 22, 2008 5:05 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Felix Pie gets...

a tennis racket for when he hits against lefties.

(or maybe just 100 ABs next year)

They call me the Barnyard.

by tibbelkrunk on Dec 21, 2008 9:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Marquis gets..

a nice all expense paid trip to retirement hall.

Soriano gets…
a nice all expense paid trip back to his roots as a DH… aka a Yankee uniform.

Felix Pie gets…
a nice all expense paid CHANCE TO F’ING PLAY AS THE STARTER IN CENTER FIELD.

Mike Fontenot gets…
a nice all expense paid trip around the bases MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK.

Ramirez gets…
a .400 BA in the first round of the playoffs

DLee gets….
a home run every other at bat

Kosuke gets…
the right field starting job… with Adam Dunn in left.

Gio Soto gets…
a round trip all expense paid trip to the World Series with NL MVP award.

Marmol gets…
the all time saves record for a single season

Dempster and Zambrano get…
a nice round trip all expense paid to location of their choice AFTER winning the first ever joint NL Cy Young award by two team mates.

Kevin Gregg gets…
a nice all expense paid trip back to Florida to be their closer.

by DvdD on Dec 22, 2008 12:04 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ron Santo

A car ride around Wrigley holding a much deserved Hall of Fame Plaque!

by jtsurf on Dec 22, 2008 1:04 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For the fans

I’ll settle for the NL pennant this year…..

"It's probably similar to being in New York City and having a cab driver behind you and you're driving too slow. It's not the most pleasant thing."

Barry Sanders, on what defensive backs who played against him compared him to.

by Jettero2112 on Dec 22, 2008 6:13 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Cedeno....

Some magic Onedec pills.

Hey Lou, we're long overdue.

by deadcatbounce on Dec 22, 2008 8:12 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Z and Lou

a gift certificate to Office Depot to buy a fancy gel pad to rest his wrists on while typing all those emails.
Lou gets speech lessons so he doesn’t say uh, uh, uh,uh so much and smack his lips in post game interviews and can pronounce more names correctly.

This is only the beginning....Lou Pinella end of '07 season and Chicago Transit Authority (the band when they were really good).

by mrcubsfan on Dec 22, 2008 8:53 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Lou

A WiiFit.

"Hats for bats.....keep bats warm." - Pedro Cerrano
"Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill !!!!!!!" - Eddie Harris

by willie mays hayes' gloves on Dec 22, 2008 9:13 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Ted Lilly

his favorite game…

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Dec 22, 2008 9:24 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

For Cedeno

I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com

by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:10 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

you could give that both Theriot also

by Madison Cub Fan on Dec 22, 2008 4:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

For DeRo

His own restaurant chain:

I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com

by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:13 AM CST reply actions 1 recs

Irony....

In retrospect, his Cubs career does mimmick the many roles the chicken stars in at the buffet line. From the fried chicken wing to the chicken salad to the chicken strips to the baked chicken breast, the chicken does it all and with little fan fair. Does the chicken drawn in the crowd?. No, the crowd comes for the Prime Rib, the soft serve ice cream, the sliced roast beef, the pulled pork, the bread pudding. Does the chicken complain. Never. He merely steps up when it matters most. When situations dictate that his services are needed, the chicken is ready. When the buffet’s precious meats and cheeses are unavailable, the chicken is ready. When bridging the gap between the lunch crowd and the senior citizen dinner crowd, the chicken is ready.

Mark Derosa…you are our Chicken!!!!

"When two Whales Fight, many Shrimp Die" - Korean Proverb

by TheRiot Police on Dec 22, 2008 2:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs