What To Get For Christmas (Or Hanukkah, In The Case Of Jason Marquis) For The Cub Who Has Everything
by Al Yellon on Dec 21, 2008 1:00 PM CST
in Chicago Cubs News
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PrintIt's getting to be shopping crunch time, with Hanukkah's first night tonight, and Christmas coming up on Thursday.
So I'm going to open this up to all of you. If you were going to buy a gift for the guys on our favorite team, what would you get?
Try to keep it sort of baseball related. Oh, and clean. Here, I'll start. For Kosuke Fukudome, a high-end webcam system so he can keep in touch with his family in Japan. Maybe that'll make him less homesick and he can focus more on hitting. (Maybe we should also get him a corkscrew, so he can unscrew himself from the ground after one of his K's.)
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a mini-trampoline for Soriano
so he can get all the hopping out of his system before the game…
Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."
Maybe Gathright can use it to hop over him!
"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx
For all the Cubs, I give them a gift of a spatula
…to scrape up my heart off the ground after they’ve finished stomping on it again in 2009…
…sigh…
Why do I give them my heart every year? Because I’m a Cubs fan.
As Rocky said to Bullwinkle: “This time for SURE”!
CUBS WIN IN 2009!
Go Green! Go White! GO STATE! (Now #12,966 on the Cubs season ticket waiting list- UP from 13,031...WHOO HOO!)
For Soriano
endless hours of family fun!
"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." ~Arthur C. Clarke
For Ryan Theriot
A nice heaping service of homestyle grits.
Chicago Cubs Humor, News and Parody at The Cubs Brickyard
with a side of "Power to the Gaps"
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:03 AM CST up reply actions
And a dose of "baserunning skill"
"Hats for bats.....keep bats warm." - Pedro Cerrano
"Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill !!!!!!!" - Eddie Harris
by willie mays hayes' gloves on Dec 22, 2008 1:26 PM CST up reply actions
And when he's finished, all that will be left are...
… scraps.
"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx
For Geo Soto
a sprig of mistletoe ;-)
"Truth does not do as much good in the world as the semblance of truth does evil," - Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 64.
by Emelie on Dec 21, 2008 1:39 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
For Jason Marquis
A new home in a new city.
Bob Howry: Ruining Baseball Since 2008
by The Original Dave on Dec 21, 2008 1:49 PM CST reply actions
For Ted Lilly...
one game where Lou bats him 8th…
Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."
Rich Hill
A GPS system for his arm to locate the strike zone
BCB Works Miracles: It saved my English grade!
For The Hawk
A plaque in the Hall of Fame (wearing a Cubs hat of course.)
Old Style is the nectar of life.
I thought KF's family moved to Chicago midseason?
"Thank god I threw out my belt & shoelaces."-Bernies Mustache Wax on Evil BCB, 7/31/08
No, they were in town for about a month...
… then they went back to Japan.
"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx
For the entire Cubs bullpen
Another pink backpack to give to Kerry Wood the first time he has to walk to the opposing team’s bullpen in an Indians uniform
For Lou
A nice new, slow. gas guzzling car WITHOUT GPS , a lot of outdated maps in the glove compartment and an
overwhelming desire to drive to all road trips on his own ( more time to think about how many players he can use in one inning). The more games he manages to miss, the better off for everyone.
"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
For Kevin Gregg
throw strikes, keep the ball in the park, ERA in the 2.00’s an uglier glasses.
"Have You heard of the Boom on Mizar 5?"
For Ron Santo
A recount after tossing out a few ballots, and the knowledge that his toupee will be never again eaten by the ventilation system at Shea Stadium.
Bleed Cubbie Blue: Like Drāno for your internet tubes.
For Reed Johnson
a cap with the bill folded up in honor of his catch in Washington.
"Yes, dear. You're right. I'm sorry." -Bob Brenly
by ambrosiadreams on Dec 21, 2008 5:18 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
one of my fav. moments from 2008
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:04 AM CST up reply actions
For the former Cub who has everything....
A pair of rubber gloves for Cesar Izturis…
For Ramirez
For Ramirez some brains for the Chicago writers who are trying to run him out of town.
Barbara V. October 14, 1941 - December 19, 2008. A great lady who was a friend to all and like a second mom to her children's friends (she was my best friend's mom)
For Big Z...
a couple of Gatorade coolers that he can smash BEFORE every game to get his anger out
Oh Baby!
And...
a drywall repair kit for the wall near the steps in the Cubs clubhouse!
by queenmamarah1 on Dec 22, 2008 3:49 PM CST up reply actions
For Mark Derosa
a Catcher’s Mitt to complete his collection…
For DLee…
A Few more seeing eye singles and few more fly balls.
For Geo …
Some Sticky Gloves
For Reed Johnson…
An 09 Playoff AB…
And last but not least…
A Candian Free Disabled List in 09…
"When two Whales Fight, many Shrimp Die" - Korean Proverb
haha
I like the sticky gloves for Geo!
"Yes, dear. You're right. I'm sorry." -Bob Brenly
by ambrosiadreams on Dec 21, 2008 10:23 PM CST up reply actions
i'd get Soriano
one of those alerts that go on cars when you’re about to hit something. this would come in handy for when he goes back on balls towards the wall
by DartmouthCubsFan on Dec 21, 2008 9:31 PM CST reply actions
I would get Lou hooked up with the Kerry Wood diet
I’m a little worried about his health and the strength of those jersey buttons…….
Its going to be a BLou Chistmas...
Felix Pie gets...
a tennis racket for when he hits against lefties.
(or maybe just 100 ABs next year)
They call me the Barnyard.
Marquis gets..
a nice all expense paid trip to retirement hall.
Soriano gets…
a nice all expense paid trip back to his roots as a DH… aka a Yankee uniform.
Felix Pie gets…
a nice all expense paid CHANCE TO F’ING PLAY AS THE STARTER IN CENTER FIELD.
Mike Fontenot gets…
a nice all expense paid trip around the bases MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK.
Ramirez gets…
a .400 BA in the first round of the playoffs
DLee gets….
a home run every other at bat
Kosuke gets…
the right field starting job… with Adam Dunn in left.
Gio Soto gets…
a round trip all expense paid trip to the World Series with NL MVP award.
Marmol gets…
the all time saves record for a single season
Dempster and Zambrano get…
a nice round trip all expense paid to location of their choice AFTER winning the first ever joint NL Cy Young award by two team mates.
Kevin Gregg gets…
a nice all expense paid trip back to Florida to be their closer.
For the fans
I’ll settle for the NL pennant this year…..
"It's probably similar to being in New York City and having a cab driver behind you and you're driving too slow. It's not the most pleasant thing."
Barry Sanders, on what defensive backs who played against him compared him to.
For Cedeno....
Some magic Onedec pills.
Hey Lou, we're long overdue.
For Z and Lou
a gift certificate to Office Depot to buy a fancy gel pad to rest his wrists on while typing all those emails.
Lou gets speech lessons so he doesn’t say uh, uh, uh,uh so much and smack his lips in post game interviews and can pronounce more names correctly.
This is only the beginning....Lou Pinella end of '07 season and Chicago Transit Authority (the band when they were really good).
For Lou
A WiiFit.
"Hats for bats.....keep bats warm." - Pedro Cerrano
"Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill !!!!!!!" - Eddie Harris
by willie mays hayes' gloves on Dec 22, 2008 9:13 AM CST reply actions
For Ted Lilly
his favorite game…
I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg
For Cedeno
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:10 AM CST reply actions
For DeRo
His own restaurant chain:
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Dec 22, 2008 10:13 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Irony....
In retrospect, his Cubs career does mimmick the many roles the chicken stars in at the buffet line. From the fried chicken wing to the chicken salad to the chicken strips to the baked chicken breast, the chicken does it all and with little fan fair. Does the chicken drawn in the crowd?. No, the crowd comes for the Prime Rib, the soft serve ice cream, the sliced roast beef, the pulled pork, the bread pudding. Does the chicken complain. Never. He merely steps up when it matters most. When situations dictate that his services are needed, the chicken is ready. When the buffet’s precious meats and cheeses are unavailable, the chicken is ready. When bridging the gap between the lunch crowd and the senior citizen dinner crowd, the chicken is ready.
Mark Derosa…you are our Chicken!!!!
"When two Whales Fight, many Shrimp Die" - Korean Proverb
by TheRiot Police on Dec 22, 2008 2:46 PM CST up reply actions
i'm a little disturbed...
that you are so familiar with their menu. None the less, a beautiful ode to DeRosa.
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Dec 23, 2008 8:42 AM CST up reply actions
For Felix Pie...
comfortable shoes for the track meet in CF if JH signs Adam Dunn.
"I find sometimes it's easy to be myself. Sometimes I find it easier to be somebody else..." - Dave Matthews
For Al and the rest of the bleacher bums...
A Woo-Free 2009!
Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."
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