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'Twas The Night Before Cub Christmas

an annual affront to Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night 'fore Cub Christmas, and all through the ballpark
Not a creature was stirring, not even DeRo (Mark);
Cub fans' wishes were hung by the bleachers with care,
In hopes that St. Hendry soon would be there;

The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of championships danced in their heads;
And Lou in his uniform, and Larry in low-billed cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
Lou sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon shining down on the hockey rink there
Gave the lustre of mid-day to all in the air.
But then, it appeared, as if in a dream:
A blue and white sleigh carrying his baseball team!

With a big old driver, so lively, not slim,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Jim.
More rapid than Gathright his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dempster! now, Lilly!
Now, Harden and Z!
On, A-Ram! on Soto!
On, Dome and Lee!
I'll get you a Bradley!
Or maybe a Dunn!
I simply won't rest till a title is won!"

The dry leaves that fall from the ivy walls die,
When they start to regrow, then Marmol's slider flies,
And over on a rooftop there's Ronny and Theriot,
Is the sleigh full of gifts? Only Hendry does know.

And then, in a twinkling, among some bright flowers
The prancing and pawing of little Kevin Towers.
As Jim showed his hand when seeking a Peavy,
Towers wanted too much -- you saw that on TV.

Just so we'd remember, Sori did a bunny hop;
And there's Z all in blue, from his feet to his top,
Little Mikey Fontenot, Z had flung on his back,
And we worried that feat might put him out of whack.

But back to Jim -- offers out there to see!
We all wonder whether he can trade Jason Marquis!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And who's the Brewers' closer? We yet do not know;

We feel bad for Santo, who's still not in the Hall,
But perhaps next month, Andre Dawson gets that call.

Jim had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

Once again... that stanza stays as is. Anyway:

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread;

He spoke not to us, but went straight to his cell,
And filled up the roster; then gave out a yell:
"Kerry Wood may be gone, but the pen will be fine;
I'll give you a club that can win in '09!"

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a call,
And we heard Dempster say, "We will win it all!"
Then we heard Jim exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

0 recs  |  Comment 32 comments |

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Comments

Display:

Thank you, Al

Brilliant.

I used to read the original to my boys every Christmas eve just before their bedtime. Clement Moore is my wife’s great-grandfather.

Happy holidays to all at BCB!

by leothelip on Dec 24, 2008 8:19 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Wow, an actual relation to Clement Moore?

Cool. Thanks for the compliment. Merry Christmas.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 24, 2008 8:22 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Great job

and it even rhymes! A Cubs classic. Let’s hope this cold and snow stops soon, I can’t wait till spring, I’ve had enough.

This is only the beginning....Lou Pinella end of '07 season and Chicago Transit Authority (the band when they were really good).

by mrcubsfan on Dec 24, 2008 8:44 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

LOL

I loved it to pieces Al.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it and a continued Happy Hannukah to those who celebrate Hannukah.

And here’s a survey for all. What’s the one Christmas song that if you hear one more time you’ll throw your radio out the window?

Mine is The Little Drummer Boy. If you ever really want to torture me make me listen to that.

Barbara V. October 14, 1941 - December 19, 2008. A great lady who was a friend to all and like a second mom to her children's friends (she was my best friend's mom)

by cubstoseriesby100 on Dec 24, 2008 9:13 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Feliz Navidad/I'll be Home for Christmas

Great Job, Al! Yet another great post-Happy Hannukah!

Oh Baby!

by cubswgnrocks on Dec 24, 2008 9:18 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Maybe that counts as "enhanced interrogation techniques"

Forget waterboarding… if you really want to get me to give up the launch codes, just blast the Muppets 12 Days of Christmas in my head 3 or 4 times.

Proud recipient of a hot dog shot from the Iowa Cubs hot dog gun.

by IowaCubs- on Dec 24, 2008 9:34 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Any of the

4.3 million different versions of Rockin Around the Christmas Tree. Well done Al!

by Fonzie2178 on Dec 24, 2008 11:53 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Ho! Ho! Hoffpauir!

…in right field?? Oh my.

Very well done, Al.

Here’s a Christmas wish: signing a bat worthy of parking a few on Sheffield.

Proud recipient of a hot dog shot from the Iowa Cubs hot dog gun.

by IowaCubs- on Dec 24, 2008 9:14 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Well done, Al.

Yes, yes ... winter is indeed a pond upon which all of us must skate, braving frostbite and runny noses in the hopes that our cars will start and we shan't embarass ourselves slipping on a patch of black ice. Spring is more a quagmire of cold mud and slush, and fall is a pile of fallen leaves that may or may not hide a pile of doggy doo-doo. But summer, ah summer is an oasis of endless green that disappears all too quickly beneath our feet as we rush through its warm, glorious bliss.

by dat cubfan daver on Dec 24, 2008 9:56 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

NEXT YEAR

Let’s hope buying presents for us is really easy for our families in 09 as our lists are filled with World Series DVDs, tshirts, sweatshirts etc!

Barbara V. October 14, 1941 - December 19, 2008. A great lady who was a friend to all and like a second mom to her children's friends (she was my best friend's mom)

by cubstoseriesby100 on Dec 24, 2008 10:07 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks Al

I’ll gather the kids around the tree tonight and read it to them … it can be a new family tradition!

Ya gotta love a team with a shortstop named TheRiot ...

by StampMe on Dec 24, 2008 10:20 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks, Al and Happy Hanukkah!

Merry Christmas everyone!

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know. " ~Groucho Marx

by Jettero2112 on Dec 24, 2008 10:41 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

I love the Bradley part :)

Devin Hester, you are ridiculous! -Jeff Joniak

by ARAM FOR MVP on Dec 24, 2008 10:45 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

That made my day

I got my husband a Zambrano jersey for Christmas and just the other day he went on and on about how he can’t stand Zambrano’s antics, throwing things, etc. But I bet he’ll wear it. What do y’all think?

by mlern on Dec 24, 2008 10:56 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

If he doesn't want it, I'll take it.

I’m sure he will wear it, no worries.

"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?" Harry Caray

by CubbieintheSouth on Dec 24, 2008 11:12 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Very nice Al.

Thanks and Happy Holidays to all.

by sue369 on Dec 24, 2008 11:20 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Great job, Al!

You’ve out-done yourself this time!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all.

DMH

"I've never complained about it. I'm thankful to have a jersey." Mark DeRosa, 22 Aug 2007

by DeRoMyHero on Dec 24, 2008 11:39 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks!

Thought you’d like the DeRo touch.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Dec 24, 2008 1:04 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Always! :-)

"I've never complained about it. I'm thankful to have a jersey." Mark DeRosa, 22 Aug 2007

by DeRoMyHero on Dec 25, 2008 1:14 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Well done

Very nice Al – Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah

by coral on Dec 24, 2008 11:52 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Merry Christmas

to all you BCB butt munchers!!

by Cubs and Hawks fan on Dec 24, 2008 12:47 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Nicely done, Al.

Enjoy the holidays everyone.

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Dec 24, 2008 1:14 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Cousin

Found out my cousin is a lurker here. I linked to this poem in an email. Everyone loved it! Trying to encourage him to post!

Barbara V. October 14, 1941 - December 19, 2008. A great lady who was a friend to all and like a second mom to her children's friends (she was my best friend's mom)

by cubstoseriesby100 on Dec 24, 2008 1:26 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

That was excellent

Great job Al.

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to all.

"I'm a Cubs fan. I'm very, very patient." -- from a Shoe cartoon.

by No Southern Belle on Dec 24, 2008 4:11 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Yay!

Well done!

Happy Holiday (or non-holiday) of choice to everyone!

Bleed Cubbie Blue: Like Drāno for your internet tubes.

by znohitter on Dec 24, 2008 4:18 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

And to all a good night!

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! --Homer J. Simpson

by Shanghai Badger on Dec 24, 2008 10:04 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Beautiful

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukkah to all.

Go Cubs.

"Have You heard of the Boom on Mizar 5?"

by Grockcubs on Dec 24, 2008 10:29 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Merry christmas, everyone!

Time to sleep!

BCB Works Miracles: It saved my English grade!

by Chanman25 on Dec 24, 2008 11:16 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I just wanted to send a Merry Christmas shout out to Cubs fans

I’ve always been treated with respect in this room. I was actually introduced to SB Nation by a Cubs fan and as a result; my work has suffered, I sleep less, I’m angry more and I’m addicted to lots of opining, conjecture and punditry.

HOWEVA! I’ve become a better baseball fan for it and I’m having fun!

Merry Christmas!

" Washington focuses its bailouts on people who take showers before going to work rather than on those people who need a shower after they work. "

by LOUtheMETandNATSfan on Dec 25, 2008 12:31 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks. Same good wishes to you.

Though we won’t promise to help you get more work done or sleep more…

"I've never complained about it. I'm thankful to have a jersey." Mark DeRosa, 22 Aug 2007

by DeRoMyHero on Dec 25, 2008 1:16 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Wonderful

Merry Christnas Al and allt he great BCB folks.

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.

by carolinacub on Dec 25, 2008 1:15 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

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