Very few Cubs fans remember him today, but Derwood "Woody" Noggin was part of the infamous College of Coaches for a brief time in 1961. A popular Vaudeville entertainer for many years, Noggin was famous for his wisecracking humor, but had virtually no baseball experience. He was purportedly hired for the sole purpose of improving clubhouse morale during what promised to be an utterly abysmal season.

However, like the College of Coaches, Noggin's tenure with the Cubs was a complete failure.  The players, who were interested only in keeping their jobs and what little professional dignity they had left, were in no mood for his jokes and madcap antics.  To make matters worse, he was widely suspected of being nothing more than a mouthpiece for the front office. Unwilling to trust him, the players shunned him and often locked him in his own suitcase during games.

Noggin mysteriously disappeared just a few weeks into the season and was never seen again.  According to sources who claim to be reliable, he was last seen in the company of Yosh Kawano, who supposedly was going to show him a new woodchipper that had been purchased for the grounds crew.  Yosh vehemently denies this, however, and since the story cannot be confirmed, Noggin's ultimate fate may never be known.