In a bid to regain his HR title, the family of Baseball Great Babe Ruth paid an unnamed WoW Sorcerer to apply a resurrection potion to the bones of the deceased batsman. Ruth now plans on going on an extended exercise regimen, designed to bring atrophied muscles dead for nearly 60 years back to health.
Hot-dog vendors in Wrigley were overjoyed.
It is hoped that by adding the septuagenarian slugger to the Cubs' lineup, they can break the 100 year old curse of the Cubs not winning the World Series.
"Aw, applesauce. That's a tall order", Ruth rasped as he shotgunned hotdogs, beer, and shots of brandy. "After all, it had already been eight years of the curse when I -started- playing baseball. They've been all wet for a while. But if I can avoid taking any wooden nickles, and not get the heebee-jeebies, I should be ok."
When asked about Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's record, who broke the Babe's own HR record, Ruth got in a real lather.
"I may have been a fat, drunk sop, but at least I didn't take illegal drugs! And how!"
Ruth hopes to be available to the Cubs, where he will replace Alphonso Soriano in Left Field, and will bat fourth.
Lou Pinella was characteristically reticent to comment much. "I don't know what kind of deal Jim [Hendry] cut in order to make this happen, but I keep catching the stench of brimstone, and his hats are always a little scorched."
Hendry refused to comment on his attempts to ressurrect Ty Cobb to replace Jason Marquis. Marquis, typically, insisted that he could out-Cobb Cobb, even after being told that he was only 50% right.
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