OK, so maybe that's a little over-the-top -- that's what columnists do (well, some of them, anyway). The reality of trying to make a deal is spelled out quite well, I think, in the article:
In your world, you call up the owner of a team named "Lindsay Lohan's Breast Reduction," and it sounds like this:
You: "Brah, why didn't you return my e-mail? I need a pitcher."
Fellow owner: "Dude, I'm so drunk. I've had 26 beers."
You: "So, how about it?"
Fellow owner: "Well, who do I even have? Forget it, my password is 'Brewski.' Take who you want."
So next time you think the Cubs should just push a couple of buttons and make TTTSNBN, remember -- it ain't quite that simple.
Reality check: The [White Sox] talks with the Oakland Athletics for Nick Swisher started in mid-December. Williams had dreamed of Swisher for a few years, but he wasn't available until this offseason.
"There's actually a lot of groundwork that goes into it," [White Sox] assistant GM Rick Hahn said, explaining what should be obvious. "Whether it be a conversation directly between Kenny and the other GM, someone on Kenny's staff such as myself with another assistant GM or scouts talking out on the road, it doesn't happen overnight.
"For example, the Swisher trade, we started talking about 10 days before Christmas and the deal got done in early January [Jan. 3], and that's a pretty good clip. There's usually at least two or three weeks of talks, throwing back and forth ideas, trying to balance out economics in some situations and other complexities. It's not an easy process."