that they sold keyboards without period keys?

edmonds licorice hit throw girl field center left bat pie minors coffee huckleberry eskimo

Hendry tried winning by having 2 angels on his team (Pagan and Guzman). That didn’t work so now he signed Satan.

There is no point.

If you can ignore the fact that Edmonds is a raging asshole, which is hard to do, the dude can’t play anymore. He’s barely adequate in center any more, and will get found out in bigger parks. He can’t catch up to even a decent fastball anymore, and he was never that good on a decent breaking pitch. He’s lost most of his power and speed. Quite frankly, I hope he goes 0-23 and we can send this douchebag packing. Problem with that is if they bat him 5th, they’re just going to walk Aramis to strike his now useless, aged ass out, which might COST US GAMES. If he bats 2nd he robs us of an on base guy in that slot, because, wait for it, HE CAN’T GET ON BASE. Frankly, this is a ridiculous move, and we would have been far better off sliding Fukudome over to center more often and playing DeRosa and Cedeno, and stop being so hung up on a left handed bat. As shocking as this may be to Lou and Hendry, a left-handed bat that sucks is STILL A BAT THAT SUCKS.

for literacy

Edmonds is able to spell Johnson, Fukudome, and Soriano once in a while to keep them fresh.

Although he’ll strike out, he’ll take out his aggression on Gatorade coolers and stuff, making himself look hilariously ridiculous (or ridiculously hillarious) in the process.

After about two weeks of Edmonds looking like a clown in the Majors, and Pie finding his bat in the Iowa, Edmonds is dropped and Pie comes back up, looking like a champ.

Dusty Baker, always eager for another declining veteran who hacks away at bad pitches, signs Edmonds as insurance in case Corey Patterson begins to falter.

See, we’re Cubs fans. We can dream.

and weep for the future of the english language on the blogosphere. My five year old niece has a better concept of sentence structure and punctuation.

...getting plunked in the backside by Big Z during August ‘04. Priceless.

And that’s not saying much.

Jim Edmonds is now a Cub. The proper thing to do is support the decision of Hendry/Lou and wish Mr. Edmonds to have renewed success with the ballclub. It would be immoral and classless to desire ill play from someone on our favorite team.

But somehow, I can’t do it. I don’t care what my inner ethos and general rules of sportsmanship tell me.

Jim Edmonds, I hope you go 0 for 20 with the team, and you are cut within a month’s time, thus ending your career in misery and despair.

With Pie on the bench or in CF, this team is winning. Edmonds is not only performing poorly, but he is a complete shit bag. I know it. You all know it. The whole world knows it and just because Jason Friggin Marquis says he likes Jimmy boy, does not a good move this make.

WTF is all I have to say about this. I am not even sure I can cheer for this guy when he plays (succeeding or not). I despise him.

Oh and as for this fanpost…WTF too? Is this English?

1-for-5, SEVEN men LOB, and a few easy catches in the outfield.

Blah.