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OT: Worst Movie Ever

As I was reading the game thread today, I stumbled upon an interesting conversation between a few posters (cwyers and others) that briefly discussed this topic. What's the worst movie that you have ever seen? And yes, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 movies count. They're much more tolerable that way. Man those guys were funny! I would definitely have to say that the absolute worst film I have had the displeasure of viewing is Manos: The Hands of Fate. So tell us, what's the worst?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, editor-in-chief (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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OK

Let me get the ball rolling here:

Bend it like Beckham.

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 4:44 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Seriously?

I liked that movie.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 24, 2008 5:56 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I liked it too

Kind of a cultural and sports movie rolled in one.

by daeviant on Aug 24, 2008 6:06 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Grrr

probably because I don;t like Beckham or soccer for that matter.

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 6:21 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I watched it for the first time with my roommate from India

it was one of her favorite movies. I really enjoyed it.

I think it’s just his face. - dat cubfan daver

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 6:54 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's really not about Beckham or soccer.

It’s a coming of age movie about families and growing up and different cultures. Very well written and acted.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 24, 2008 6:55 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Man

I must not be with it, since I didn’t enjoy it. Many of my family members enjoyed it though. BTW my nephew is a huge Beckham fan and his sister is also a very good soccer player (only 10 years old though.) Soccer is pretty big in SoCal, what with Beckham in LA playing for the Galaxy and all.

Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 8:58 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

For a great book in a somewhat similar vein

read “Unaccustomed Earth”. Enjoyed it so much I sent a copy to my sister.

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:48 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:45 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Def-Con 4 (1985)

“Two men and a woman circle the globe in a satellite armed with a nuclear device. The third world war breaks out, and a few months later the satellite crashes. They survive the crash but one man gets killed by survivors and the other man gets caught. The woman stays by the remains of the the satellite but is soon caught by evil punks who have taken power”

The only movie I ever wanted my money back.

by garyscottrules on Aug 24, 2008 4:51 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I saw that with my HS girlfriend...

Kind of liked it. Wasn’t Mick Jagger in it?

by jdb-44 on Aug 27, 2008 10:34 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

I can’t believe I wasted two hours of my life on that piece of crud.

CUBS WIN! CUE THE ORCHESTRA!

by Keith on Aug 24, 2008 4:55 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Talladega Nights

N/T

"In an ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas."

by markleonette on Aug 24, 2008 4:56 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Disagree...Sacha Baron Cohen was brilliant....

Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow from the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind...
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall, I'll bid the bleacher bums adieu,
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue. --Steve Goodman

by NotSure on Aug 24, 2008 7:33 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Liked it

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:49 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or for that matter

any Will Farrell movie where he shouts at the top of his lungs. Oh, wait…

j/k He doesn’t do that in ‘Stranger Than Fiction’ and I actually liked that movie.

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:39 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Winter Passing was good, too.

But yeah, Farrell definitely has a schtick.

make/art

by neverAcquiesce on Aug 26, 2008 10:18 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Slingblade

awful.

I think it’s just his face. - dat cubfan daver

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 4:58 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Actually.

Thinking on this for a few more minutes… Napoleon Dynamite was the worst movie I’ve ever sat through in my life. I know lots of people thought it was funny… but I was so bored by it.

I think it’s just his face. - dat cubfan daver

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 5:57 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's really either love it or hate it with Napoleon Dynamite

And for the record, I was mildly amused the first time I saw it, but ever since then it just doesn’t seem funny anymore. Worst movie ever? No. But I don’t really want to see it again.

"I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game." - Walt Whitman

by hip2bsquare on Aug 24, 2008 6:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Its not worst movie ever... but it wasnt one I found funny at all

"We've had our ups and downs, but as long as you have a reason, something to fall back on and a plan, that's all there is to it," Soto said.

by Madison Cub Fan on Aug 24, 2008 6:26 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don't know cubbiegirl...

guess we have vastly different tastes in movies. I happened to really enjoy Napoleon D. No profanity, low budget, no big time stars, and I found it really funny and sweet. Similar to Little Miss Sunshine in a lot of ways.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 8:00 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was just bored by it.

I’d heard it was “the funniest movie in years” and we’re siting in my friends dorm room watching it…. and nuthin. Not even a chuckle from me. And I can usually find something funny in anything.

It may not be the “worst movie ever” but its DEFINITELY the worst I’ve ever sat through. I kept waiting for something not stupid to happen.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 9:02 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Maybe because I saw it early in it's release.

And didn’t expect much. I hate watching movies later on that everyone raves about. A lot of times I’m dissapointed.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:08 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gwad!

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:25 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I had the same reaction, for the most part.

My wife hated “Napoleon Dynamite” so much that, halfway, through, she got up and left the room to do something else and left me alone to watch the rest. I could see the humor in the film, but I just didn’t go nuts for it the way everyone else in the universe seemed to be at the time.

Yes, sir!

by dat cubfan daver on Aug 25, 2008 10:56 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Didnt like it the first time

but it grew on me.

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:49 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Slingblade...really?

I think it’s a modern classic myself.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 7:55 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hard to beat "Manos", but...

My sentimental choice was always “Wizards of the Demon Sword,” if for no other reason than it gave up and made fun of itself during this post-apocalyptic turd as the heroes venture off to find the “Seer of Robuck”. Saw MST Manos a few weeks ago, funny you mention that! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103278/

""At the end of the day, boys, you don't tell me how rough the water is, you bring in the ship." -- Steve Stone

by kentmeister on Aug 24, 2008 5:09 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ummmm

worst movie ever—brokeback mountain

from the mouth of Uecker:

"Am I the only one who’s glad it’s only a 4-game series? If was a 9-game series, I think the Cubs would win them all."

by cubsluver22 on Aug 24, 2008 5:14 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i wish i could quit you!

lol

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 8:00 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Don't want to see it again...

But I thought it was brilliant. I just closed my eyes for the icky parts.

If you hated it for its merits, fine. But if this is just homophobia, then grow up.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:21 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No disrespect intended

this is a real question.

Isn’t saying that you closed your eyes for the “icky parts” an example of homophobia?

by ScottT on Aug 25, 2008 5:39 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes...DeBard is a homophobe....kill him with fire.

Or…just stop it.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Aug 25, 2008 5:42 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No, it's a fair question

I shouldn’t have said icky parts. I was trying to be funny.

I didn’t close my eyes. I just enjoyed the movie like a grownup.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 6:17 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Elephant and/or Last Days

I want my 4 hours back Gus Van Zandt

The only stats I care about are the ones on the back of a baseball card

by carmen_fanzone on Aug 24, 2008 5:14 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Tough...

and Talladega Nights almost won but it has to be “Tiptoes.” Gary Oldman, Kate Beckinsale, Matthew McConaughey, and Patricia Arquette. It’s not a great lineup but they’re not half bad. The movie must’ve been a contractual obligation for some of them because its about a guy (McConaughey) who’s family are little people. He isn’t but is a carrier and terrified of getting his g/f pregnant for fear that she’ll have a little person. To top it off, his brother (Gary Oldman) is little so he acts the whole movie…on his KNEES!! Patricia Arquette is dating Peter Dinklage’s character who’s a french snob. To save you all the trouble, in the end Kate Beckinsale ends up with Gary Oldman and has a kid with him. Though I could be mistaken since I tried to shine a laser pointer in my eyes to erase what I had just seen.

by CubFan81 on Aug 24, 2008 5:14 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As a former movie theater employee...

I’m going to say that the worst movies are…

Extreme Ops (2002 snowboarding movie)
Gigli (Affleck and J-Lo)
Ghostrider (Nic Cage)

and maybe the worst ever…

Catwoman

Talladega Nights was amazing to the right age group, so perhaps take a little perspective.

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought you ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.
Joe Garagiola

by Ryan at Cubshub on Aug 24, 2008 5:16 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm 17, and I thought Talladega Nights was hilarious.

Still not Anchorman material, though.

CUBS WIN! CUE THE ORCHESTRA!

by Keith on Aug 24, 2008 5:34 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Shake and bake!

What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened!

by Matty G on Aug 24, 2008 7:24 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Walker! Texas Ranger!

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:21 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes!

Now that’s a quartet of crap-tastic films.

"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett

by The Ryno and I Know on Aug 25, 2008 2:15 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

For me:

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 5:25 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That has to be up on my list also

along with Bad Taste, Peter Jackson’s first movie.

"In an ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas."

by markleonette on Aug 24, 2008 6:36 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hmmmm....

Jaws: The Revenge was not good…

I’m a huge pro wrestling fan (hence the username) and I was watching the very beginning of The Marine, starring John Cena, and I couldn’t take it. I had to turn it off. My question is, has anyone else seen this movie, and is it as bad as the first 15 minutes looked?

"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...

by Curtain Jerker on Aug 24, 2008 5:26 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Michael Caine?

I am too lazy to look it up but if it is the one with Michael Caine it is spectacular. One of those movies that goes around the “suck compass” all the way back around to great.

In this Jaws the shark doesn’t only think but specifically tags people it is going to follow to Hawaii and eat. Yep, the shark follows planes, helicopters, boats, and whatever else it KNOWS his target is on and follows them. Like “No Country for Old Men” but with a fish instead of Javier.

Michael Caine also has been very entertaining about this movie. He did it because he wanted to go to Hawaii on the studios dime.

I reccomend watching with plenty of beer and whatever else may be your personal fun time bad movie thing.

by One F on Aug 25, 2008 2:38 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I remember walking out of Joe Versus the Volcano

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan

I’ve seen worst movies, but this is one I paid movie theater prices and didn’t even get through the bucket of popcorn and super large soda before I walked out.

"Every team will win 60 games, every team will lose 60 games, it's what the team does in the other 42 games that decides the season."

by flachimesa on Aug 24, 2008 5:35 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That's a shame

I love “Joe Versus the Volcano”, for both the visuals and its general (bleak) outlook on workaday life. Some of the acting is sub-par, but it did the “vivid primary colors” thang before and better than “Dick Tracy”.

by Clutch16 on Aug 25, 2008 7:03 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As I responded in a post below, I may give this a 2nd chance

Maybe I was having a bad day the day I went to see it.

Keep in mind the question of this post is “What’s the worst movie that you have ever seen?” not “What’s the worst movie you heard about?”

There are many movies (e.g., Howard the Duck) that I have not seen.

I spent good money on movies my teenage daughters highly recommended as the “funniest mover EVER” that I thought were mindless but fun. Napoleon Dynamite and Superbad are this generation’s cult comedies but not your parents’ Blazing Saddles or Young Frankenstein.

"Every team will win 60 games, every team will lose 60 games, it's what the team does in the other 42 games that decides the season."

by flachimesa on Aug 25, 2008 8:18 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Well, of course, nothing can compare to Mel Brooks' finest work.

For my money, The Producers (original version), Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein are probably the best comedies ever made – and keep in mind that as a 24-year-old I’m probably part of what you’re defining as “this generation”. Too bad Brooks isn’t nearly as funny as he used to be – most of the movies he made in my lifetime aren’t very good IMO.

"I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game." - Walt Whitman

by hip2bsquare on Aug 25, 2008 10:44 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

I loved this movie.

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:54 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Con-Air was pretty awful...

…there have been others that have been worse but that’s the first one that came to mind. I thought placing white blankets on the ground for snow in Ravenous was pretty lame but overall I thought the plot was credible enough—eat people and gain their strength—maybe that’s why Bonds can’t get a gig right now did anyone ever think of that? With stricter drug testing he has resorted to eating people to maintain his power.

by DudeVf11 on Aug 24, 2008 5:37 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I like that movie,

What was so bad about Con-Air?

"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying" - Michael Jordan, the one and only...

by LPLancer23 on Aug 24, 2008 7:10 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

C'mon...

It’s a weak Nick Cage flick, but not to bad to catch in the middle flippin through the channels. I couldn’t imagine even hesitating during Joe vs the volcano!

by socalicubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 7:13 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I liked Joe v.Volcano, seriously, LOL!

How about that Stallone movie with the tall blonde chick, I think she was once married to Mark Gastineau? Many of those Stallone movies seem the same, but that one stands out as particularly bad. I don’t recall the name.

by DudeVf11 on Aug 25, 2008 9:57 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Caddyshack 2

obviously, there was a lot to live up to, but that movie blew big time.

"Enough foreplay- let's get crackin'"- Fred Garvin

by davidalanu on Aug 24, 2008 5:43 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

There was no sequel...there was no sequel...

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 6:23 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

To be fair

If you FF through the plot and just take in the music, especially the huge jam session at the end, BB2K is an awesome movie, except for, strangely enough Aretha, who sleepwalks through ‘Respect’ (“R-to the-S-P-E-C-T”? Gahhh…). And post-credits James Brown FTW!!!

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:43 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+ 1

I was thinking that when I first read the subject. Good to see I’m not alone.

"Hey! If the moon were made of ribs, wouldja eat it? I know I would!"

by cubs0505 on Aug 24, 2008 10:10 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

At least

they had Jackie Mason in it.

by StevenABQ on Aug 25, 2008 12:13 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Interesting and potentially controversial topic!!

for instance, Joe Vs. the Volcano, mentioned above, is one of my favorite films (and it actually has a fairly big cult) but, to each his own.

When I think of truly awful movies-one that immediately comes to mind is the "It’s Pat’ (based on the old Julia Sweeney SNL character)-even watching it on cable was painful.

by bluekoolaide on Aug 24, 2008 5:45 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

To each his own exactly

I may have to give Joe vs Volcano a rent and another chance.

I also walked out of Sideways which one all sorts of awards. I went out and bought it after it won and still didn’t like it.

I also bought Syriana after it won awards and stopped watching after 30 minutes.

"Every team will win 60 games, every team will lose 60 games, it's what the team does in the other 42 games that decides the season."

by flachimesa on Aug 24, 2008 9:55 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's obvious why Syriana won awards...

… but Al frowns upon political discussion on BCB

Dome-san!!

by Goat Whisperer on Aug 24, 2008 9:56 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was bored with Syriana myself.

Found the story hard to follow.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 25, 2008 4:09 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Maybe we could modify the contest

Worst movie that was supposedly good/won awards.

I liked parts of Syriana. The scenes with Dr. Bashir and Matt Damon were cool. Most of the rest was dull.

But I must call a technical balk on the Sideways criticism. I LOVED that movie. It also made me want to drink gallons of wine.

But my nominees are:

Children of Men — My fiancee and I had just started dating and I picked the movie. Now, she’s walk out and I’d be on the couch if I didn’t go with her.

Into the Wild — Just rented that this weekend. I was rooting for the guy to starve.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:14 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I liked Sideways too.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 25, 2008 7:37 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ACK!

I loved Children of Men; probably my favorite movie so far this decade. But I’ll avoid that for fear of lapsing into page after page of incoherent rambling.

I thought Million Dollar Baby was pretty bad for all the love it got. It was a great first 2/3, but the last third was just torture (on the viewer and on Eastwood’s character). I may have still appreciated what the movie did with the tragedy if not for the “look at the evil rednecks!” parts. Overall the last third just ruined that movie.

by Gator Cub on Aug 25, 2008 7:40 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Kinda with you on that one

It’s possible to have brilliant performances in a bad script. And I’m a fan of twist endings, but that one was just idiotic.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:43 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

for Children of Men. It’s worth seeing for nothing more than the music and the scene that shows the inflatable pig ala Pink Floyd.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 25, 2008 9:16 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

In that case,

I’d nominate “Crash”. I think it won best picture in ‘05 or so? My problem with it is it’s so heavy-handed and melodramatic, with almost every possible cliched plot point thrown in for good measure. Honestly, astounded that it won that year.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:32 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm with you on that.

Paul Haggis can get so heavy-handed when he’s working by himself to the point that the plots become astoundingly unrealistic.

The author of this post is not a certified scout, doctor, agent, statistician, manager, or journalist, nor was he ever a very good player, though he tried very hard to be like Ryne Sandberg and was about as scrappy as it gets (in T-ball). Any opinion expressed above should in no way be confused with fact, truth, or reality and is hereby qualified in the following ways: 1) The author does not know as much about baseball as Lou Piniella. 2) The author does not know as much about baseball as Jim Hendry. 3) The author does not know as much about baseball as either Dusty or Darren Baker.

by DGU on Aug 25, 2008 8:46 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hated Crash too...

Have no idea how that won Best Picture..

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 25, 2008 9:17 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

See, I liked Crash.

I definitely get your points, but I liked that it made people confront what they normally wouldn’t. And when you think the little girl gets shot, I absolutely lost it.

In fact, a guy once told me he thought it was the most racist movie he’d seen; he obviously didn’t get it.

make/art

by neverAcquiesce on Aug 25, 2008 11:54 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Batman and Robin

George Clooney as the Dark Knight. No contest.

You look like you'd fit in the trunk of my car.

by mambochicken23 on Aug 24, 2008 5:46 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

its hard to argue

against any movie with “bat nipples” as worst movie ever. i’ve just seen worse is all.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 5:53 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

clooney

was also in that “good german” movie, which is one of the most boring films i’ve ever seen.

by nathew on Aug 24, 2008 10:26 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i've seen some bad ones

but i think battlefield earth and stealth are in the running for the worst i’ve ever seen.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 5:48 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Battlefield Earth

is terrible…just awful.

"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...

by Curtain Jerker on Aug 24, 2008 5:50 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gee, Scientology sycophants making a movie out of a bad L. Ron Hubbard book...

…a recipe for success if I ever heard one…

Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow from the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind...
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall, I'll bid the bleacher bums adieu,
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue. --Steve Goodman

by NotSure on Aug 24, 2008 7:35 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1000

I couldn’t stand that stupid laugh from John Travolta’s character. Barry Pepper has been in far better movies like “We Were Soldiers” and “61*”. Forest Whitaker was great as Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland”. He was disastrous in this piece of garbage.

"The big possum walks late." - Harry Caray

by memphiscub on Aug 25, 2008 9:08 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

*vomit*

Oh, Battlefield Earth. I watched the Rifftrax of that piece of garbage. It made my soul hurt.

Before each game, please remember to feed the bats.

by Cool Hand on Aug 24, 2008 5:50 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I would choose that one too

But it doesn’t count because I didn’t bother watching the rest of it. It was that bad.

by daeviant on Aug 24, 2008 6:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

Umm, -1? Whichever. That movie sucked.

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:36 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I agree that Battlefield Earth was a terrible movie

even though my cousin (played the bartender) is in it. Even he said it was a terrible movie.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. ~Earl Wilson

by tucsoncubsfan on Aug 25, 2008 3:38 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Let's see.

Overall…yeah, Manos was TERRIBLE. I wanted to punch a friend of mine just because he used to live in El Paso, where that movie was made. SO VERY VERY VERY BAD.

Worst movie I’ve seen in the theaters was Nothing But Trouble. I’m still ashamed.

Apart from that…I also have “fond” memories of the day some of my friends got together to watch a movie, and the rest decided that they wanted to see Dungeons & Dragons (despite my vehement opposition.) Let me just say, I was right. It was every bit as bad as I thought it was going to be. And worse still, one of my friends paid actual real money for the DVD.

Before each game, please remember to feed the bats.

by Cool Hand on Aug 24, 2008 5:50 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I totally forgot about that craptastic film!

I used to play D&D, so I thought the movie would be kinda cool…not so much.

Same sort of collolary for “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within,” which has very little to do with any video games, but isn’t a bad movie in its own regard.

"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...

by Curtain Jerker on Aug 24, 2008 5:56 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Great thing about Manos on MST

was the people forcing the crew to watch it apologize for it.

“Manos.”
“The Hands of Fate?”
“Yes.”

Mitchell is pretty horrific, too.

make/art

by neverAcquiesce on Aug 25, 2008 11:56 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wasn't the third movie

in that set, Pod People? That was just as bad.

The sex scene in Mitchell with Joe Don Baker and Linda Evans was so gratuitous and bad, I felt like I needed to take a shower afterwards to get the stink off of me. Only Mike and the ’bots were able to save me.

It seemed like the only reason Manos was made was to show a 10 woman pileup for 15 minutes.

Linus: Life is rarely all one way, Charlie Brown. You win some, you lose some. Charlie Brown: Really? Gee, that'd be neat.

by CyberCyclist on Aug 25, 2008 4:08 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

On edit...

It was Joel in Mitchell. That was his final episode.

Linus: Life is rarely all one way, Charlie Brown. You win some, you lose some. Charlie Brown: Really? Gee, that'd be neat.

by CyberCyclist on Aug 25, 2008 4:35 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sex scene? Joe Don Baker?

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 6:19 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Army of Darkness

(Evil Dead III). For some reason, I just never got into that series.

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Aug 24, 2008 5:58 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i haven't yet seen it for some reason

but any movie with bruce camble (sp?) in it can’t be that terrible. if for nothing else than the campy humor factor.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 6:11 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i saw the first two when i was in college

since my roomate had them. but by the third one, it just seemed like they’d run out of material. it as brutal. but i agree, bruce campbell definitely carries those films.

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Aug 24, 2008 6:14 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I have to disagree completely.

I love Bruce Campbell and Army of Darkness is pure comic genius. Such a funny movie…

“You see this? This… is my BOOMstick!!!”

“Klatu… verata… cough

by zm1217 on Aug 24, 2008 6:21 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i thought the first one was good

the second alright, but by the third, i guess i was just burned out on them.

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Aug 24, 2008 6:25 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

I like all of Sam Rami movies, esp the Evil Dead trilogy. Ever notice that same car is in all his films, even the Spiderman movies?

" Yo, she-bitch! Let’s go!"

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 8:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"good me...bad me. I'm the guy with the gun." Boom!

Or the best pick up line of all time can be found in Army of Darkness:

“Give me some sugar, baby!”

I love that movie!

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:08 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Hail to the King baby! "

One of my alltime faves….I’ve got 3 different versions. Also have Bruce Campbell’s autobiography. Good read!

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 11:55 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+2

Bruce Campbell is great. I once had his niece as a student in one of my classes. My wife thought “Bubba Ho-Tep” was stupid and terrible, but I think she missed the point. That film is sweet, too. Campbell can DO NO WRONG!

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:35 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bruce Campbell rocks!

He was great in “The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.”, one of the most underrated tv shows ever. He usually adds something good to any part he plays, be it big or small.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 25, 2008 9:21 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bruce FREAKIN' Campbell

…all that needs to be said

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:44 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Cult Classic

Loved it and have the extended DVD (As I do for a ton of Campbell/Raimi flicks)

After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases. ~Mickey Mantle

by Jettero2112 on Aug 25, 2008 5:35 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Evil Dead 2

Evil Dead 2 I saw because I know the actress Kassie DePaiva (then Wesley) who played the girl in it.

I couldn’t stop laughing because at the time Bruce Campbell looked exactly like Jim Harbaugh then Bears QB.

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Aug 25, 2008 10:03 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

whew THAT movie sucked!

by socalicubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 7:14 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i forgot about that pile of suck!

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 8:06 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Crow

I hated it because I kept wondering why this one guy gets to come back from the grave to avenge the death of his family, when millions of people die situations like that and they never come back to bring the murderers to justice. It wasn’t fair.

by daeviant on Aug 24, 2008 6:11 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes, I agree

The soundtrack was the only redeeming quality… However, the movie did spawn an entirely new species of annoying goth kids.

by daeviant on Aug 25, 2008 10:13 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

High School Musical

I know I’ll catch flak on this, and don’t get me wrong, the kids in this thing are cute and all, but the music in this movie is, to me, the aural equivalent of sticking a hammer drill into my ear (though that may be mildly preferable). There is a story of sorts, but it’s so vapid that the music has to carry it, which as I noted, it most certainly does not…

"Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me." ~Stewie Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Aug 24, 2008 6:13 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don't mind it much

its a fluff piece for the ’tween set. anything that can keep my three girls enthralled, happy, and QUIET for an hour or so and I have to give it a thumbs up.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 6:25 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

True, I guess it has a useful purpose :)

I have re-considered and I think I change my vote to “Punchline” with Tom Hanks and Sally Field. I guess it’s not Hanks’ fault that he was miscast as a selfish jerk (he just always seems too nice to pull that off well), but the “comedy” in this movie is about as funny as a banking symposium.

"Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me." ~Stewie Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Aug 24, 2008 8:28 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Disaster Movie...

I haven’t seen it, but just watching the previews… it looks like a disaster.

"Remember each day this year, where you were, what you were doing, who you were with, how you felt as the Cubs win their way through it. Because if this does turn out to be the promised land we have all been waiting for, you will want to remember, savor, cherish every moment..."

by CubsBullsBears on Aug 24, 2008 6:19 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein

All-star cast, absolutely atrocious results. The 1992 Mets of movies.

"Sometimes I feel like as a Cubs fan if I’m not worrying about something, I’m not doing it right." - HalfBlindCubbieGirl

by CaliCub on Aug 24, 2008 6:24 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'll expound on my "Manos" experience for you all.

I watched it with my family, the MSC3000 version. The first 30 mins consist of almost entirely driving around in a ’60s Ford Galaxie. Then they introduce Torgo, the most incredible movie villain of all time. His large knees made me laugh every time I saw him. Later in the movie, they show an underground fight between a bunch of women in nightgowns. Overall, the worst/greatest movie ever made. In fact, my dad bought a 1971 blue Ford LTD that looks similar to the car driven in the film and we named it “Manos71,” complete with vanity plates!

by zm1217 on Aug 24, 2008 6:25 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Manos

Is one of my all time B-movie faves. There are so many great lines from the MST3K version, too. “Daddy, the doggie’s sharp again!”

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:38 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Election

Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon star in it about a high school election. Utterly horrible.

"We've had our ups and downs, but as long as you have a reason, something to fall back on and a plan, that's all there is to it," Soto said.

by Madison Cub Fan on Aug 24, 2008 6:34 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Uh, disagree....biting satire.

Tracey Flick is the avatar of Hillary Clinton…

Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow from the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind...
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall, I'll bid the bleacher bums adieu,
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue. --Steve Goodman

by NotSure on Aug 24, 2008 7:37 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

And that one girl from high school we all know

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:09 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Election

rocked. Satire at its best.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:37 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No way

Election is a great movie – but I guess if you go into it expecting a Reese Witherspoon type movie like Sweet Home Alabama or Legally Blonde, you’ll be disappointed. I saw Election first and have been mostly disappointed with her other movies since.

The author of this post is not a certified scout, doctor, agent, statistician, manager, or journalist, nor was he ever a very good player, though he tried very hard to be like Ryne Sandberg and was about as scrappy as it gets (in T-ball). Any opinion expressed above should in no way be confused with fact, truth, or reality and is hereby qualified in the following ways: 1) The author does not know as much about baseball as Lou Piniella. 2) The author does not know as much about baseball as Jim Hendry. 3) The author does not know as much about baseball as either Dusty or Darren Baker.

by DGU on Aug 25, 2008 7:12 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I probably love Election

90% because I first saw it in high school and the girl I hated the most was an EXACT duplicate of Reese Witherspoon’s character. Made the movie very fun, rooting against her.

by Gator Cub on Aug 25, 2008 7:42 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

(sorry...didn't mean to do that)

was The Master of Disguise starring Dana Carvy. Even at 11 or whatever age I was when I saw it, I knew it was horrible.

Plan 9 from Outer Space is bad, but it’s funny-bad.

I legitimately liked Talledega Nights, but I guess I was their target audience

by Willieo on Aug 24, 2008 6:37 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i actually left the master of disguise in the middle of it...

and for me to do that, it has to be bad

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 8:08 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Plan 9 is the definition of fun-bad

You can see the strings holding up the UFOs, and the “acting” is just abysmal. I read somewhere that it was filmed in 5 days, and Bela Lagosi died two days into it, which is why he just walks off the the screen next to a house midway through the film, never to be seen again…

"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...

by Curtain Jerker on Aug 24, 2008 9:03 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Some of his scenes were a double.

But yeah, they sorta wrote him out of parts of it after his, uh, demise.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 9:04 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

See Tim Burton’s excellent “Ed Wood”.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:10 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I LOVE "Plan 9"

BECAUSE it’s so horrible! Every time it’s on TCM or IFC I tape it.

Agree with Bump… you must see “Ed Wood” before seeing “Plan 9”. The Bella Lugosi scenes take on a whole new meaning.

Dome-san!!

by Goat Whisperer on Aug 24, 2008 9:27 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The sad thing is, Plan 9 wasn't even his worst film.

“Glen or Glenda,” “Bride of the Monster” and “Jail Bait” are arguably worse, and I haven’t screened any of his quasi-pornographic movies. It’s turtles all the way down, man.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 9:30 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+2

Ed Wood is great, and Depp as Ed Wood is even more so.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:39 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

anything with Brandon Frazor

Dinosaurs? "Didn't exist. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them." -Carl Everett

by NDcubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 7:00 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Actually, Fraser was pretty good in "The Quiet American".

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 24, 2008 7:41 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Quiet American

was very good, but just not watched by many it seems.

And before that, Fraser was very good in Gods and Monsters.

The author of this post is not a certified scout, doctor, agent, statistician, manager, or journalist, nor was he ever a very good player, though he tried very hard to be like Ryne Sandberg and was about as scrappy as it gets (in T-ball). Any opinion expressed above should in no way be confused with fact, truth, or reality and is hereby qualified in the following ways: 1) The author does not know as much about baseball as Lou Piniella. 2) The author does not know as much about baseball as Jim Hendry. 3) The author does not know as much about baseball as either Dusty or Darren Baker.

by DGU on Aug 25, 2008 7:13 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh yeah...

…I saw “Gods and Monsters”, and he was good in that.

Yes, sir!

by dat cubfan daver on Aug 25, 2008 11:01 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I actually quite liked "Blast from the Past"

Very funny flick. Christopher Walken is great, as usual…and Fraser is pretty funny as well.

"Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me." ~Stewie Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Aug 24, 2008 8:32 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Encino man?

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:10 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i love it!

one of pauly shore’s best roles.

by nathew on Aug 24, 2008 10:29 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

bio dome

is my favorite pauly shore movie.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 10:30 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

haha yeah

and one of the baldwin brothers.

but my favorite pauly shore movie is “pauly shore is dead”. it shows that he has a sense of humor about himself ;)

by nathew on Aug 24, 2008 10:32 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Way Wrong!

Crash, The Mummy (not any others), Blast from the Past

by Arbusto on Aug 25, 2008 4:51 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Live Free or Die Hard

Snuck into the theaters (thank god) for this one middle school style. Went to see it as a joke and it sure lived up to that. Not a Die Hard movie at all. So many extremely bad, unreal stunts. Was laughing at almost all the action scenes. Wouldn’t say it was the worst movie of all time, but it was pretty bad in my opinion.

by Gurbal on Aug 24, 2008 7:23 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Really?

I wasn’t expecting much from it, but I thought it was kinda fun. Course I love movies w/ explosions so maybe thats why I didn’t hate it.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 8:57 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

not art, sure, but it was fun

i saw it in the theater, and i must admit it’s one of those movies i’d watch again and again on cable. Bruce Willis doesn’t take himself too seriously, Justin Long is amusing as the neurotic hacker, and nobody does (bleep)-ing crazy better than Timothy Olyphant.

by Petrie000 on Aug 25, 2008 2:31 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I hated it at first, just ridiculous.

But halfway through I decide to look on it as a spoof of itself. Then the ridiculousness became hilarity and I enjoyed it quite a bit!

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:57 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Two nominess

The Postman, with Kevin Costner. Based on an excellent book. Too bad.
A Bill Maher movie, perhaps the only one. Avocado Women In the Jungle of Death. Or something like that. It was on Cinemax a lot in the 80’s.

by Nibbles on Aug 24, 2008 7:25 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Shakes the Clown

Nothing else comes close for awfulness.

"Don't worry, Joey. We'll go next year. They're in the World Series all the time" ---My grandfather to my sick father, October 10, 1945

by flyingdonut on Aug 24, 2008 7:28 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Has to be

1- Dirty Dancing
2- Grease
Seriously, Dirty Dancing hurts

Its funny, you spend most of your life gripping a baseball. And in the end, its almost always the other way around.

by TCobb1911 on Aug 24, 2008 7:28 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Nobody puts baby in a corner"

So if these are the two worst movies of all time, does that make Grease 2 and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights better than the originals?

"In an ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas."

by markleonette on Aug 24, 2008 7:47 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Never saw the Havana version

But Dirty Dancing came out when I was 13. My friends and I use to watch it over and over again when we were in high school. I enjoy it for the nostalga.

"We've had our ups and downs, but as long as you have a reason, something to fall back on and a plan, that's all there is to it," Soto said.

by Madison Cub Fan on Aug 24, 2008 8:57 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

every time

i hear a “grease” song my soul dies a little more. and i believe someone kicks a puppy every time dirty dancing is played.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 9:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Haha,

yes. They’re terrible. Just awful. I am the younger brother of two sisters, and they LOVED those movies. Oh, and also, “Into the Wild” I found to be miserable also. I know some loved it, but that movie was death. Boring as can be.

Its funny, you spend most of your life gripping a baseball. And in the end, its almost always the other way around.

by TCobb1911 on Aug 24, 2008 10:04 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Funny, every time

I hear a song from Grease 2, I die just a little.

Seriously, how old were the actors who were supposedly playing high schoolers?

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:46 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Footloose is much worst

My girlfriend made me watch that last night and I threw up a little in my mouth from the cheese!

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:11 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You had to have been there in the 80s

Back then, movies were basically the vehicles for soundtrack albums.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:16 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

And product placement!

Don’t forget good ’ol product placement.

"I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game." - Walt Whitman

by hip2bsquare on Aug 25, 2008 11:05 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A couple more 80s classics...

…“Red Dawn” and “Commando.”

Two films that are so bad, they’re good. I’ve gone on record as saying “Commando” is one of the funniest movies of all time.

Yes, sir!

by dat cubfan daver on Aug 25, 2008 11:20 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

RED DAWN

is FANTASTIC. Well, any Swayze film is. Roadhouse is along the same line, so bad it’s good…

Brian McRae's 5 O'Clock Shadow

by PurpleLineToWrigley on Aug 25, 2008 11:35 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Is "Commando" the film where Arnold rows for 30 seconds?

Showing off his steroids…er…work-out regimen?

"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...

by Curtain Jerker on Aug 25, 2008 10:00 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hm, I don't recall that scene specifically...

…but that sounds about right. There is a great scene where Ahh-nuld and Rae Dawn Chong (man, whatever happened to her?) are in a high-speed car chase, driving a little convertible Porsche, and they crash – head on – into a telephone pole (or maybe a tree) going about 65 MPH. Naturally, they both blink a few times, shake off the impact and walk away unscathed. There’s a bunch of hilarious moments like that.

Yes, sir!

by dat cubfan daver on Aug 26, 2008 9:45 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How can you possibly forget.....REEFER MADNESS!

Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow from the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind...
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall, I'll bid the bleacher bums adieu,
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue. --Steve Goodman

by NotSure on Aug 24, 2008 7:39 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

So bad its GOOD!

Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow from the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind...
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall, I'll bid the bleacher bums adieu,
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue. --Steve Goodman

by NotSure on Aug 24, 2008 7:39 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Again, "Red Zone Cuba."

Worse than Manos. Seriously much worse than Manos.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 7:55 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You know...

Apart from the fact that I’ll never again experience joy in my life, I don’t think Red Zone Cuba had any kind of negative effect on me.

Before each game, please remember to feed the bats.

by Cool Hand on Aug 25, 2008 12:19 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dune...

put me to sleep…

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 8:09 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dune rocks

A) Wgn played it all the time on Saturdays when i was growing up
B) IT just rocks

"You would never guess that a little innocent walk like that could lead to two runs" -- Dusty Baker

by KyCubsFan on Aug 24, 2008 8:11 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh and

HBO is still running it LOL

"You would never guess that a little innocent walk like that could lead to two runs" -- Dusty Baker

by KyCubsFan on Aug 24, 2008 8:12 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I liked the book...

a lot! Maybe that’s why I was dissapointed in the movie.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 8:28 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

a real movie on that book

can never be made … the miniseries stank … Herbert actually liked the DiLaurentis version, believe it or not

Well, Next Year is here .. and Jack's century's gotta end some time .. GO CUBBIES!

by cubnational on Aug 24, 2008 11:13 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dune is a huge favorite of mine... as a book.

the miniseries was pretty good, but i agree that it’s one of those things that can never really be made into a movie. The theatrical release was way too over-wrought, and turned into almost a cartoon of itself by the end. Still, my sister (who was about 10 when she first saw it) loves the parts with Sting in it, they make her break down in hysterics.

by Petrie000 on Aug 25, 2008 2:34 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Agreed.

The books were great. The movie was… not.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 25, 2008 4:10 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm a huge fan

of David Lynch. Hearing/reading him speak of the Dune film, which he made after critical success with “The Elephant Man,” it’s obvious that there were many problems making that movie. Much of it had to do with financing and disagreements between Lynch and the studio execs. Lynch wanted to do what he does, which would have been great. But the execs were pushing for a more mainstream, Hollywood-type action flick. Netiher side got their way, and the results speak for themselves.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:43 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You can't have people's thoughts audiblized all the time.

Characters should feel things, and act like they feel things, not tell you they feel things.

Reed Ballgame - best CF in the MLB

by californiachicagoan on Aug 25, 2008 1:59 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

p.s....i love you

its kinda a chick flick and the girl i was watching it with said it was so horrible we neeed to turn it off…thats bad

thats probably the most recent bad movie i have seen

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 8:10 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

jackass

n/t

"You would never guess that a little innocent walk like that could lead to two runs" -- Dusty Baker

by KyCubsFan on Aug 24, 2008 8:10 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Coffee and Cigarettes!

Kwa...Ki...Sur...Pee...Nee...Ku?

by Kinky Reggae on Aug 24, 2008 8:35 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Agreed

This movie was just plain awful.

This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.

by HectorVillanueva on Aug 24, 2008 8:47 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

a lot of it was pretty boring

but i love the white stripes, bill murray, and al molina/steve coogan acts.

by nathew on Aug 24, 2008 10:33 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Most definitely

Coogan is great.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Aug 25, 2008 8:44 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Any Movie

Where Tom Waits and Iggy Pop are within a mere inches of each other wins solely on musical merit alone…. They don’t even have to sing, their genius just seeps out of them.

--
"Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do."
- Voltaire

by Yepsen on Aug 25, 2008 9:57 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Skatetown USA

A battle of machismo in the roller rink. Scott Baio stars, but wasn’t able to skate well enough to play the “lead,” so they give him all the lead character lines, but instead of being part of the skate off, he acts as sort of an agent for the good guy roller skater – who has to face off against Patrick Swayze as “Ace,” the badass roller skater. Somewhere in there is an incoherent romance with Maureen “Marcia Marcia Marcia” McCormack. I have no idea why they need to have a skate off, but the main plot of the movie takes so little time that they have to intersperse it with little skits featuring the D list of comics (the biggest name being Bill Kirchenbauer – the dad from “Just the Ten of Us” – as the Skatetown doctor) to fill out the 87 minutes. It is both the worst and the funniest movie I’ve ever seen.

This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.

by HectorVillanueva on Aug 24, 2008 8:47 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You remember too much about this movie...

…I think it is secretly your favorite of all-time—LOL! JK

by DudeVf11 on Aug 25, 2008 10:04 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Let's settle something here.

Here’s a clip from Manos. I’m not saying it’s the worst movie ever, although it’s on the short list. I’m saying that in order to make the list you have to be really, really stinking bad.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 8:57 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh, and...

here’s Torgo’s first appearance. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, look at the bad lip-syncing! It’s a foreign movie dubbed over!”

No. No, this was shot in… I believe Texas.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 8:58 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

And since I'm YouTubing...

…this isn’t bad, precisely, but it’s quite possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen, at least as far as Claymation goes. More creepy than Seven.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 9:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

God bless youtube

you could spend a day just picking out the worst scene in Manos—there are just so many.

""At the end of the day, boys, you don't tell me how rough the water is, you bring in the ship." -- Steve Stone

by kentmeister on Aug 25, 2008 5:23 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Cwyers,

What would your definition of a bad movie be? Judging by what I’ve read so far, therwe are many different criteria for what makes a movie “bad”.

For instance, I think the Beckham movie is bad, but then again, I don’t like Beckham or soccer, so it comes down to personal taste in a lot of cases.

BTW no one has mentioned Waterworld or Ishtar yet,

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 9:09 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Waterworld sucked IMO.

as does just about anything with Costner. Never saw Ishtar. No one has mentioned Heavens Gate either.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:14 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i liked

“for love of the game” and “dances with wolves” actually i liked “field of dreams” and “robin hood:prince of theives”

wow, i wasnt expecting to remember so many costner movies i liked…dang

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 24, 2008 9:17 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I sorta liked those too...

Especially Field of Dreams. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about Costner I don’t like. And please don’t tell me you like “The Bodyguard”. That was beyond bad. Except Whitney Houston’s singing of course, which was amazing.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:28 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Costner (Crash Davis) was alright in Bull Durham

"Every team will win 60 games, every team will lose 60 games, it's what the team does in the other 42 games that decides the season."

by flachimesa on Aug 24, 2008 10:01 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I've never seen Bull Durham.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 10:02 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Get off the computer right now and rent it!

Kids these days…no respect for the classics.

:)

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:13 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The number of movies I haven't seen

is usually astounding to people.

Bull Durham.
Godfather
GoodFellas
Caddyshack

Thats just the “classics” i can think of off the top of my head.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 10:16 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh sweet jesus!

What have we done to the youth of America?

What about:

Seven
The usual suspects
Pulp fiction
Reservoir dogs
The Shawshank Redemption
Stripes
Time Bandits

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:22 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Um

Pieces of it
No
No
No
Yes loved it
No
No.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 10:25 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Have you been locked in a cage?

You really need netflix for the off-season.

I will promise you that if watch all of those movies at least three will become your favorites of all time.

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:27 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As i said earlier

the number of movies I haven’t seen is usually astounding to people.

All of the movies you’ve listed are on my list… I just don’t rent movies very often so my list never seems to get cut down.

The Walk: Weapon of choice for the 2008 Cubs

by halfblindcubbiegirl on Aug 24, 2008 10:28 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I cant imagine being that big of a baseball fan

and not having seen bull durham.

"We've had our ups and downs, but as long as you have a reason, something to fall back on and a plan, that's all there is to it," Soto said.

by Madison Cub Fan on Aug 24, 2008 11:07 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I like all your picks BrewCrew!

And I might add…

Fight Club
True Romance
American Beauty
Memento
Ed Wood

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 25, 2008 12:03 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1 to those

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 25, 2008 12:32 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i would add

american history x
the goonies
kingpin

"Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Chicago Cubs. That's baseball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living." --Alvin Dark

by preachermancubsfan on Aug 25, 2008 5:22 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also:

Fargo
Raiders of the Lost Ark
This is Spinal Tap
Back to the Future
Lawrence of Arabia
Casablanca
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
The Right Stuff
The Hunt for Red October

"I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game." - Walt Whitman

by hip2bsquare on Aug 25, 2008 5:57 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

So TRUE

"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett

by The Ryno and I Know on Aug 25, 2008 2:25 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Half the movies about the army become dull after

the basic training part of the plot. Look at Full Metal Jacket, Private Benjamin, and The DI (great use of Jack Webb, though)

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:50 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yikes...how could I forget Bull Durham?

Costner was good in that…maybe his best role.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 11:58 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He wasn't that bad in

Tin Cup either.

I have only been able to stomach Costner when he plays an athlete. Otherwise I just can’t take him seriously for some reason.

"Very adroit in the outfield." - Lou, on Dome

by gwood on Aug 25, 2008 7:29 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

When he plays...

A regular dude period, he’s great. When he plays the savior of mankind — Waterworld, the Postman, Wyatt Earp — he’s atrocious.

He’s great in “The Upside of Anger.” It’s like he’s playing Crash Davis in his 50s.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Aug 25, 2008 7:45 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Costner

Is great in two of the best baseball movies ever made—Field of Dreams and Bull Durham. I loved Tin Cup too. You can have Robin Hood—he couldn’t make up his mind what accent to use and I could have lived my entire life without seeing his butt. Dances With Wolves is one of the great modern classics. Its too bad that he’s become a chick movie machine much like Richard Gere.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 25, 2008 9:25 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I must protest...

“The Untouchables” is a modern masterpiece (IMO).

“You wanna get Capone? Here’s how you get him. He pulls a kinfe, you pull a gun. He puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. And that’s how you get Capone!”

"Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me." ~Stewie Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Aug 25, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Absolutely on the Untouchables

I had forgotten about it, and I own the DVD! I’m sure I’m in the minority on this one, but I also like JFK.

"In an ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas."

by markleonette on Aug 25, 2008 11:12 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Untouchables is over the top

but good over the top.

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:51 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"I do not approve of your methods."

“Yeah? Well, you’re not from Chicago.”

Yes, sir!

by dat cubfan daver on Aug 26, 2008 9:47 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I had forgotten

The Untouchables. Absolutely fantastic movie but Costner—even though he was decent as Ness—had a huge amount of help from Sean Connery through most of the film and had Robert Duval to play off. Not a bad supporting cast at all.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 26, 2008 10:55 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I had forgotten

The Untouchables. Absolutely fantastic movie but Costner—even though he was decent as Ness—had a huge amount of help from Sean Connery through most of the film and had Robert Duval to play off. Not a bad supporting cast at all.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 26, 2008 11:01 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

There's a real acquired taste for the truly awful...

…by which I mean the utter trash that came out of the B-movie studios in the heydey of such. You’re almost really not comparing the same thing at all comparing a misguided Hollywood production to a horror movie shot by amateurs in the space of a week. It’s a completely different level of bad.

It’s the same with literature. Sure, there are some bad novels in print – scores of them, really. But no reputable publishing house would touch anything half as bad as The Eye Of The Argon. Just… wow.

by cwyers on Aug 24, 2008 9:17 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

LOL!

This book should be entitled,“My New Thesaurus Gets Worn the F___ Out!”
Brutal…

"Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me." ~Stewie Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Aug 24, 2008 9:37 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

OK

so we now know al’s opinion on a couple of panned movies here but I would like to know what his pick is for worst movie ever. you should have a pretty well informed opinion about this one al, how about it.

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Aug 24, 2008 9:12 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Lemme think about this one.

I’ll do that and post about it later.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 25, 2008 4:11 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Worst baseball movie has to the Babe Ruth one...

When William Bendix as the Babe stops to call his shot and shoots his arm out like it’s a Nazi salute or something. Still makes me laugh thinking about it.

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:23 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Batman & Robin (1997)

This movie defies physics. That is to say that it both sucks and blows.

Dome-san!!

by Goat Whisperer on Aug 24, 2008 9:23 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Since 'Caddyshack 2' was mentioned above...

let me add another sequel that never should have happened… ‘Blues Brothers 2000’.
Ugh.

by hokie316 on Aug 24, 2008 9:27 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Trust me, it never happened.

"Chicago baseball fans, who are composites of scar tissue and mortifying memories..." - George F. Will

by eswan9 on Aug 24, 2008 9:29 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Blues Brothers 2000...

As one critic put it : “The use of unnecessary violence toward the makers of this sequel…has been approved.”

"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun

by Bump Bailey on Aug 24, 2008 9:38 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

Theriot, Fonty, and Johnson = The Scrappy Pyramid of Victory

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Aug 24, 2008 10:14 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

See it just for the music. Please. Ignore the plot and enjoy the music.

You’ll thank me.

"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)

by spoiledcubbage on Aug 26, 2008 12:52 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Titanic

"That’s what I love about my skip, man. He’ll tell you that you suck...I know I suck. We know we suck...Yeah, we suck. But we’ll see who sucks at the end."
- Gary Sheffield

by DrGalazkiewicz on Aug 24, 2008 9:38 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Why?

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Aug 25, 2008 4:11 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Well...

I’m was exaggerating a bit, but I just didn’t see what was so great about it. Long, boring, and overacted. Plus I still can’t stand that Celine Dion song.

"That’s what I love about my skip, man. He’ll tell you that you suck...I know I suck. We know we suck...Yeah, we suck. But we’ll see who sucks at the end."
- Gary Sheffield

by DrGalazkiewicz on Aug 25, 2008 9:00 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"I was" not "I'm was" LOL

"That’s what I love about my skip, man. He’ll tell you that you suck...I know I suck. We know we suck...Yeah, we suck. But we’ll see who sucks at the end."
- Gary Sheffield

by DrGalazkiewicz on Aug 25, 2008 9:02 PM CDT to parent up