SOMEBODY FIND DaBARD FOR GOD's SAKE !!!

by Basman on Sep 10, 2008 1:06 PM CDT

It has become apparent that we cannot possibly do this without him. Ever since he went off to get married and on his honeymoon the Cubs have managed to win one game. He pointed this out a few days ago but he continues to remain conspicuously absent & the Cubs continue to dissapoint.

Coincidence !??!?? I think not. So here I am putting out an APB for DaBard to make his presence known at the BCB, stat !!! This dream season has been derailed by his selfish marriage and subsequent travails to far away lands. it is time for him to right the ship. DaBard, come fix this !!

sarcasm -(just in case)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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DeBard is a newlywed....3 guesses as to what he's been doing this whole time.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 1:17 PM CDT reply actions

We all know what he has been doing...

but seriously, the “thank you notes” can wait until after we clinch the division, can’t they?!?!?!

Way back... outta here!!!

by Chubby Hugs on Sep 10, 2008 1:22 PM CDT up reply actions

Checkers?

"Prince Fielder Dies Of Inside-The-Park Homerun" - The Onion

by DTJchris on Sep 10, 2008 1:22 PM CDT up reply actions

Laundry?

"I don’t believe that things go your way," said Lou Piniella, the Cubs manager.
"I believe you make things go your way."

by Basman on Sep 10, 2008 1:42 PM CDT up reply actions

Picking out wallpaper?

The faux French country house is just exquisite!

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Sep 10, 2008 1:42 PM CDT up reply actions

OH...NOW YOU WANT ME ON THAT WALL!

YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL!

You joked and laughed when I put forward my groundbreaking, Nobel-worthy technical balk idea. You mocked my ideas for fixing gymnastics, which is basically pro wrestling for chicks.

BUT DEEP DOWN IN PLACES YOU DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT AT PARTIES, YOU NEED ME!

Well, we’ll see. I have to go help my new brother-in-law move tonight… :(

And I hate to break it to you guys, but my wife and I lived together for a year before we got married. The honeymoon was excellent in that regard… BUT, well, now I’m truly married.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Sep 10, 2008 2:08 PM CDT reply actions

Can't you help him after the game is over?

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al Yellon on Sep 10, 2008 2:08 PM CDT up reply actions

They may no longer listen to me, Al

I watched from the 5th inning on last night… No good

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Sep 10, 2008 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions

Thanks for making an appearance...

make it to the game thread if you can !!

"I don’t believe that things go your way," said Lou Piniella, the Cubs manager.
"I believe you make things go your way."

by Basman on Sep 10, 2008 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions

Maybe it's not his abscence

Maybe it’s the marriage.

SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN A DIVORCE…until November.

by Arbusto on Sep 10, 2008 2:10 PM CDT reply actions

One problem...

My wife is a Cards fan. She could hold it up until after the regular season…

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Sep 10, 2008 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions

May God have pity on your soul.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 2:18 PM CDT up reply actions

AGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You married a cardinals fan, that what did it!!

Go get a live chicken and sacrafice it quick

"Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance"

by MerlinDog on Sep 10, 2008 2:18 PM CDT up reply actions

I can only hope she looks like this...

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 2:39 PM CDT up reply actions

She's not really an active Cards fan

Every September she asks, “Are the Cards in it?”

If yes, she pays a bit of attention
If no, she goes on with life

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Sep 10, 2008 2:46 PM CDT up reply actions

Then you should be able to turn her away from the darkside pretty easily.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions

Right....

I’ve found that her devotion to the Cards grows every day… She raises her love for the Cards as I express mine for the Cubs. I think she finds it amusing.

Women are an evil species.

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

by DaBard on Sep 10, 2008 3:01 PM CDT up reply actions

with boobies....

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 3:09 PM CDT up reply actions

And somehow, it all evens out

"Prince Fielder Dies Of Inside-The-Park Homerun" - The Onion

by DTJchris on Sep 10, 2008 3:17 PM CDT up reply actions

No

Not even close

by dr stabbingworth on Sep 10, 2008 3:32 PM CDT up reply actions

lol

Yeah, you’re right

"Prince Fielder Dies Of Inside-The-Park Homerun" - The Onion

by DTJchris on Sep 10, 2008 3:56 PM CDT up reply actions

I sure hope she can spell Busch and Edmonds...

else she’s in for a hard time…unless she really DOES look this good.

"I wouldn't be a part of any club that would have me as a member" : Groucho Marx

by Dave Pendleton on Sep 10, 2008 4:21 PM CDT up reply actions

I was thinking the same thing... but was too scared to utter the words...

I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com

by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 11:47 AM CDT up reply actions

This happened to me last year too when I got married

I turned on the TV on the last day of the honeymoon and saw that Z and Barret were fighting in the dugout and that Lous had just been suspended for multiple games, and remember thinking “What the hell happened?”. The lesson: getting married is bad for the Cubs ;)

Some people have 3 layers, like pie. Blog Blog Blog

by berselius on Sep 10, 2008 2:46 PM CDT reply actions

My wife did the same thing to me this year when ....

the Cubs were playing the Orioles. She’s from Baltimore & all of a sudden she’s interested in the game and rooting for the O’s.

I was dumbfounded.

Women are evil wrapped in a hypnotic outter layer

"I don’t believe that things go your way," said Lou Piniella, the Cubs manager.
"I believe you make things go your way."

by Basman on Sep 10, 2008 3:26 PM CDT reply actions

plus they're soft and smell nice.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 10, 2008 3:30 PM CDT up reply actions

My wedding day...9/25/04

Listened to game with priest in back room while wife was getting dressed and guests were seated. Up 3-0 going into the 9th and off I go to get hitched…Came out to the party bus and found out Hawkins blew it. Took me a lot of champagne to get over it.

(but will keep my wife…she and I flew down to ATL for game one in 2003…flew in at 10am, right to game, then to airport, slept in terminal still in gear, back to work late the next morning…still the best time I’ve ever had as a Cub fan)

by JCD on Sep 10, 2008 4:30 PM CDT reply actions