over 3 years ago
digitalbenjamin
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Most men write thier name in the snow when they pee
Ted Lilly writes his in concrete
"Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance"
Ted Lilly doesn't crash into catchers;
catchers get caught in what is generally known as the Electromagnetic Lilly Field of Awesome.
make/art
by neverAcquiesce on Sep 11, 2008 10:34 AM CDT reply actions
The only reason you're even breathing ...
… is because Ted doesn’t feel like carrying you right now.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 10:34 AM CDT reply actions
when TRL does push up's
he’s not pushing himself, rather the earth down
"Pounding sand since 1982...."
Ted and his H.S. days...
On a high school math test, Ted put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He solves all his problems with Violence.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 10:37 AM CDT reply actions
When life gave Ted lemons, he used them to strike out Pujols.
Ted friggin’ hates lemonade.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 10:41 AM CDT reply actions
It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Ted Lilly's milk.
Oh you are so screwed.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 10:42 AM CDT reply actions
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 10:42 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Awesome
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 10:59 AM CDT up reply actions
A Texas judge once sentenced a convicted criminal to meet with Ted Lilly.
His lawyer immediately appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 10:47 AM CDT reply actions
I like that!
"WGN, Channel 9 Cubs Baseball, Excitingly, Importantly, Dramatically Yours." - Jack Brickhouse
To Ted Lilly, "breaking balls"
is not what he does to pitches, it’s what he does to opponents
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 10:52 AM CDT reply actions
nice
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 10:58 AM CDT up reply actions
The StL PD has officially called Molina's blocking the plate v. Ted Lilly a "Suicide Attempt"
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 11:02 AM CDT reply actions
And a classic...
It is said Ted Lilly’s tears can cure cancer. Thing is, no one’s ever seen Ted Lilly cry.
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 11:03 AM CDT reply actions
When Ted Lilly was a little baby...
Sittin on his daddy’s knee
His daddy picked him up
and threw him on the floor
and said, “This baby’s wet all over me.”
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Wait, why do we never see Clark Kent at the game when Ted Lilly is pitching?
Coincidence? I think not.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Chuck Norris just admitted he wants to be Ted Lilly when he grows up
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Leo Durocher comes back from the grave and is quoted as saying...
If only that had been Ted Lilly’s mother behind the plate, he would have been safe.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Dusty Baker was interviewed after the game and asked to comment on the play and said..
Can he do that?
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
This just in... Jeff Spellcheck reportedly upset at being made to look like the second best tight end on the Cubs pitching staff
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Ted Lilly's agent notifies MLB that his contract was not agreed to until after the midnight deadline...
and demands that the Cubs include a combat pay incentive clause
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Ted Lilly reportedly gets traded to the Cardinals and tells Molina...
I’m your new pitcher. That’s your first lesson.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
I like this one!
"A catchers biggest concern behind the plate is to make his pitcher pitch a little better than he can" Roy Campanella
by Madison Cub Fan on Sep 11, 2008 1:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Don't think, Meat.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Manny Mota set to attempt major league comeback...
Quoted as saying, “Heck, if a 180 lb left-hander with a flower for a last name can take out a major league catcher, nothing’s impossible.”
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Upon leaving the clubhouse last night, Bob Howry was overheard saying...
Gosh, I wish I had thought of that.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Carlos Zambrono reportedly not happy with Lilly's "inability to contol his emotions."
He added, during his postgame interview, while sipping a Red Bull latte, “this is the major leagues. A guy’s gotta know when to reign his emotions in a little. I mean look what happened to that guy on the White Sox. You have to be mature to play this game.”
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Because of events of last night
Charge accounts are now known as ‘Lilly accounts’
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 12:08 PM CDT reply actions
There is a new name for home plate at Busch Stadium
The Epicenter
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 12:10 PM CDT reply actions
Ted Lilly can slam a revolving door.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
by daver on Sep 11, 2008 12:11 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
The energy of a single Ted Lilly impact
can provide enough energy to power Romania for 2 years
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 12:11 PM CDT reply actions
In 2007, Geovany Soto attempted to knock over Yadier Molina to score
Ted Lilly leaped from the dugout, shoved Soto out of the way, and knocked Molina over himself.
No one deprives Ted Lilly of a kill.
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 12:16 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
lol
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly does not sleep...
He waits.
If you can see Ted Lilly, he can see you. If you can’t see Ted Lilly, you may be only seconds away from death.
Someone made fun of Ted Lilly's name once.
Once.
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 12:33 PM CDT reply actions
If Ted Lilly had been a Spartan, the movie would have been called "1"
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 12:35 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
too funny
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 12:37 PM CDT up reply actions
winner!
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions
sorry, premature post...
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 11, 2008 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions
TWHS
"I'll take one in the mouth over the eyes any day". - AJ Pierzynski
http://lostinthevines.blogspot.com/
by lostinthevines on Sep 21, 2008 12:54 PM CDT up reply actions
OK, so it's the bottom of the ninth in the 7th game of the ws...
Lou has Z pinch hit for Pie. He hits a double. Lilly pinch runs for Z (they pitcced the previous two days to even the series at 3 games each, both on one day’s rest.) Sori hits a ground ball to the second baseman and Lilly never slows down at third and scores the game winning run by knocking the Angel’s catcher into next Tuesday. (Well, it couldn’t be the bottom of the ninth in game 7 because of Bud’s stupid ASG rules but whatever.)
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate
When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Theodore Roosevelt Lilly
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 11, 2008 12:40 PM CDT reply actions
Kevin Costner just bought the movie rights to yesterday's game
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Ted Lilly will play himself, Kevin Costner will play Lou Piniella and Bud Selig will play a dwarf in the right field bleachers who drops his hot dog
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Sorry, the guy who played the manager in The Natural, Wilfred Brumley, will play Lou, Kevin will play Geo and Geo, in a cameo role, will play Johhny Depp as a fan
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly does not shovel his driveway in the winter.
He just stares at the snow and it melts away.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
When it starts snowing he just goes out and stands in his driveway
and stares up at the heavens and the snow goes somewhere els
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 12:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly is not afraid of Hurricanes
He punches them in the EYE
"Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico." -- Harry Carey
by TheRiot Police on Sep 11, 2008 12:56 PM CDT reply actions
Ted Lilly is so strong
He spots God on the bench
"Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico." -- Harry Carey
by TheRiot Police on Sep 11, 2008 12:56 PM CDT reply actions
But who spots Ted?...I was told there would be no metaphysics in this class.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly spits into the wind
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
Ted pulls the mask off the old lone ranger
Ted tugs on Superman’s cape
And Ted messes around with Jim
"Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance"
For your consideration:
Ted Lilly and Pete Rose both have 8 letters in their name,
they both bowled over catchers
they both have a flower for a last name
Coincidence?
I think not.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
plus I am told...
they both drive Lincolns
and they both have Johnsons
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly does not hail taxi cabs...
…they hail him.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
Then they give him a Laurel and Hearty Handshake
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Please drink responsibly
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:20 PM CDT up reply actions
Can you imagine what it must feel like to be someone who doesn't drink...
and know when you get up in the morning that’s the best you are going to feel all day.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 1:21 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly does not get signals from Soto
He stares at him until he gets the information he needs
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
Ted Lilly once visited the Virgin Islands
they are now referred to as “the Islands”
the pink hat guy is my father
Ted Lilly is suing Myspace
for taking the name of what he calls everything around Molina
the pink hat guy is my father
Ted Lilly Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet,
he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
the pink hat guy is my father
Ted Lilly doesn't throw curves or sliders
The laws of physics and aerodynamics as we know them simply bend to his will
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
If Ted Lilly played Jack Bauer
the show would be called 12
Go All In and Enjoy The Ride.
by Jayo525 on Sep 11, 2008 2:21 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Tedd Lilly sold his soul to the devil for his stunning good looks and uncanny pitching ability
Not long after the deal was finalized, Chuck gave the devil a left uppercut to the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every other Sunday.
Go All In and Enjoy The Ride.
The body of your quote still says "Chuck."
And the top says “Tedd.”
Fail.
make/art
by neverAcquiesce on Sep 11, 2008 3:18 PM CDT up reply actions
pwned
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
And FWIW I was just following the trend that I noticed was being started above
That said, I still Fail and was Pwnd. But it’s not your ridicule I’m worried about it, rather I’m worried more about Chuck Norris discovering my weak plagiarism skills.
Go All In and Enjoy The Ride.
Ted Lilly not only tempts fate
He buys it a lavish dinner, has his way with it, leaves it in the morning, and doesn’t even think of calling it the day after
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
Nah, Dutch treat on the dinner
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 3:57 PM CDT up reply actions
Nice touch
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 4:04 PM CDT up reply actions
When Fate asks, "Where were you last night?"
Ted says, “I don’t remember that far into the past.”
When Fate says, “Will I see you tonight?”
He says, “I don’t plan that far in the future.”
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 4:30 PM CDT up reply actions
+1000 for the Casablanca reference
because it is THE greatest movie ever
Ted Lilly would have taken Ilsa on the plane to Lisbon an hour into the movie and left Victor to deal with Louis and Strasser. He’s just that badass.
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 11, 2008 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions
This is why I love this blog...
people get all the obscure movie and Cubs references.
It’s like sitting around the coffee table drinking beer watching the game on WGN and everybody, well most everybody, gets it.
Get some runs tonight.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 11, 2008 6:17 PM CDT up reply actions
My favorite dialog from Casablanca
Captain Renault: What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
"WGN, Channel 9 Cubs Baseball, Excitingly, Importantly, Dramatically Yours." - Jack Brickhouse
I use the "I was misinformed" line a lot
It’s amazing how often it can be an appropriate comeback. Someday I am going to write a novel where all the dialogue is lines from movies. Just haven’t gotten around to it yet. “What hump?”
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been . . . baseball. It rules over America like an army of steamrollers." Terrance Mann
Tommie Agee was out.
by Weeghman Park on Sep 16, 2008 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions
Abbie normal
"WGN, Channel 9 Cubs Baseball, Excitingly, Importantly, Dramatically Yours." - Jack Brickhouse
I named a dog after that scene
But we just called her Abbie
"There are no curses here...Games are won and lost on the baseball field" - Lou Piniella
he does have his own fan club
http://tedlillyfanclub.blogspot.com/
"A catchers biggest concern behind the plate is to make his pitcher pitch a little better than he can" Roy Campanella
by Madison Cub Fan on Sep 11, 2008 5:14 PM CDT reply actions
this is one of the funniest sites around, on par with the Thunder Matt Saloon – http://thundermatt.com/
Ted Lilly stops hurricanes just by blowing in their direction.
I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg
Strippers tip Ted Lilly.
"Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball." - Jacque Barzun
by Bump Bailey on Sep 12, 2008 3:26 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Felipe Lopez told the AP
He was not impressed by Lilly…
Lilly has not yet heard what he said. You know how we know?
Felipe Lopez is still alive.
Pluto will always be a planet to me!
This is great
It has to start some place. It has to start some time. What better place than here. What better time than now. ~Rage Against the Machine
by love the ivy on Sep 12, 2008 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Ok I will give this a try-
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Ted Lilly, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Ted Lilly”
Ted Lilly is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms.
Ted Lilly is what Willis was talkin about.
It has to start some place. It has to start some time. What better place than here. What better time than now. ~Rage Against the Machine
He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident!
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. ~Bryant Gumbel
Ted Lilly...
Ted Lilly was let in to the third little pig’s house of stone, for fear of his house-blowing prowess.
Ted Lilly doesn’t juggle, balls simply orbit him.
Thousands of years ago, Druids erected Stonehenge as a tribute to their lord, Ted Lilly. They were then taken and sacrificed to allow a human vessel to be forged that could withstand the force of Ted Lilly.
Archaeologists and geologists have teamed to together and have determined that the Coliseum was not made of stone, but was made from Ted Lilly.
Ted Lilly doesn’t need a cell phone, he can make phone calls using a pager.
Ted Lilly drives American.
Ted Lilly cuts himself and flounders wildly in shark-infested waters. On vacation.
Ted Lilly is no loner allowed near gas stations, for fear of spontaneous combustion. Theirs, not his.
Ted Lilly wears Blue Blockers.
A man awoke in a hospital, frantically giving police a description of a man he saw decapitate another in an alley. Ted Lilly absorbed the power of the subsequent lightning storm. There can be only one. Only one Ted Lilly.
A man once nicknamed Ted Lilly ‘Total Request Live’. That man bears the punishment of living the rest of his life as Carson Daly.
Ted Lilly once won a glass eating contest in Louisville Kentucky. Upon receiving the award he replied “What contest?”.
Ted Lilly likes his steak live.
It is a little known fact that the Cuban missile crisis was defused when the U.S. threatened to deploy Ted Lilly.
The original Godzilla was actually Ted Lilly. In test screenings nearly 98% of the audience suffered fear induced heart-attacks and died. The studios re-shot the film using a ridiculous monster in attempt to spare the lives of the world.
Ted Lilly once told Comcast service that he’d only be home from 10:00 to 10:05. There was not a problem.
Ted Lilly once robbed a bank using his finger as a gun. He shot and killed 17, four were wounded.
Ted Lilly can eat just one Frito-Lay potato chip. He has also been known to ‘pop’ and has had no trouble stopping.
Ted Lilly knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop.
If Ted Lilly were in an alternate dimension where every word was ‘Malkovich’ he would still speak English.
MLB requires Ted Lilly to use baseballs made of Down Feathers. His 12-6 curveball kept cracking the plate.
I like the bank robber one. Funny man.
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 15, 2008 8:56 AM CDT up reply actions
Thank you.
I was particularly proud of that one.
by WittyUserName on Sep 15, 2008 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly
the election is just a front.
Whoever wins whether it be Obama or McCain Ted Lily will be the next President. Obama or Mccain are just fronts.
And Palin and Biden are just fronts for Theriot. We need a scrappy VP!
Go Cubs
by puckishcubsfan on Sep 13, 2008 11:37 AM CDT reply actions
He did 3 tours in 'Nam......
I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it’s Ho Tran Lilly.
Ted Lilly isn't hung like a horse...
Horses are hung like Ted Lilly.
Ted Lilly is so fast
he hit a single up the middle and the ball hit him in the head sliding into second
Nice.
I much prefer these than the rehashed Chuck Norris quotes.
Somebody once said Ted Lilly chose the number 30 cos that’s when he lost his virginity. Ted merely laughed, patted the lad on the shoulder, and stated that 30 was simply the age when he slept with the last woman alive on the planet. He then ate the man’s soul and remarked, “Onto Mars.”
make/art
by neverAcquiesce on Sep 15, 2008 11:28 AM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly does not mow his lawn.
He walks out into the middle of it and every blade of grass immediately beheads itself.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
The legend of Ted Lilly grows...
as he took a no-hit game into the 7th. Nice job Ted!
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 15, 2008 4:27 PM CDT reply actions
Ted Lilly doesn't use the paper toilet cover in public restrooms
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
by Goat Whisperer on Sep 16, 2008 11:04 AM CDT reply actions
Molina...Quintero...
Ted Lilly’s body count grows ever on
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 16, 2008 11:48 AM CDT reply actions
Ted Lilly can jumpstart a car with his fastball.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
Ted Lilly's uniform is made up of the skins of his victims.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
Ted Lilly is so scary
that the fear of facing him on Tuesday cause the astros to not get a hit on Monday.
"Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance"
winner
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 17, 2008 9:30 AM CDT up reply actions
Concur
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
by spoiledcubbage on Sep 19, 2008 1:10 AM CDT up reply actions
well done
There's magic in the ivy...
by halfblindcubbiegirl on Sep 24, 2008 4:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Ted Lilly once intuitively knew he had dialed a wrong number…
… even though the person on the other end refused to admit it.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
...because the guy on the other line knows,
as everyone knows, that Ted Lilly doesn’t make mistakes.
make/art
by neverAcquiesce on Sep 16, 2008 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions
No
Actually somehow the person on the line became the person Ted was trying to reach by magic!
Go Cubs
by puckishcubsfan on Sep 16, 2008 7:45 PM CDT up reply actions
Other teams do not have rosters.
Just a list of players Ted Lilly allows to live.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
Ted Lilly once threw a 110 mph fastball
There were no survivors within a 3 mile radius
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
Ted Lilly's curveball...
…circles the Earth twice before it lands in the strike zone.
"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08
Ted Lilly once struck out a batter on two pitches.
No one was surprised.
make*art
by neverAcquiesce on Sep 18, 2008 10:10 AM CDT reply actions
Ted Lilly doesn't start.
He finishes.
''Let's be clear about this: We've still got to win two more games.'' - Jim Edmonds, 9/18/08
did I say that first?
I can’t remember. :D
"That’s the great thing about baseball, you never know what’s going to happen till you get the final out." — Lou Piniella
by drewishdrewid on Sep 22, 2008 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions
I thought I made it up...
…here. But I could have stole it from you subconsciously.
The Chicago Cubs: 2008 Central Division Champions
Ted Lilly is going to be the winning pitcher for the division clincher on 9/20.
McCain / Palin: The POW / WOW! Ticket
In the year 2000.... in the year 2000!
I haz blurg: hotbeans.wordpress.com
by digitalbenjamin on Sep 20, 2008 10:03 PM CDT up reply actions
It is the distant future...the year 2000...
…WE ARE ROBOTS.
The Chicago Cubs: 2008 Central Division Champions
Ted Lilly
doesn’t get Rick Rolled. He leads with his left shoulder, and rolls Rick.
"That’s the great thing about baseball, you never know what’s going to happen till you get the final out." — Lou Piniella
jackpot!
It has to start some place. It has to start some time. What better place than here. What better time than now. ~Rage Against the Machine
by love the ivy on Sep 25, 2008 2:40 AM CDT up reply actions
What's the one thing that keeps Chuck Norris awake at night...
He wonders when Ted Lilly is coming for him.
Ted Lilly is so manly
He makes The Rock look like a pansy
If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.
Doctrs extracted a sample of Ted Lilly's testosterone and injected in into a catcher
The catcher collapsed and hasn’t gotten up since.
"Years of academy training, wasted"--Buzz Lightyear (not a flying toy)
Ted Lilly's pickup truck has a catcher tied to the hood.
The Chicago Cubs: 2008 Central Division Champions
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