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Top Ten Reasons Big Z wasn't available for his MRI

 Since we have a day off, and nothing of any positive  value to discuss around here, why don't we have some fun.  Lou reportedly was unsure why an MRI wasn't completed with Big Z, stating that Big Z "wasn't available".  Now why could that be?  I'm not sure, but I think we all have a few ideas.  I'll start it, but I need some help.

 

Reason # 10:   He was out searching for D Lee's power stroke.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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Reason #9: Last-minute offer from the Yankees to be their DH.

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 9:04 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

This is no joking matter

just kidding, haha.

My reason: As is often the case with new members, he signed up for BCB and was hooked to the PC all day long!

Go ahead, Z me.

by tony412 on Sep 4, 2008 9:05 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #8

He went to Millenium Park to challenge Michael Phelps to a swim-off.

Sweet Lou for Mayor in '11.

by blackhawk24 on Sep 4, 2008 9:06 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #8: He was immersed in the book

Scrappy: How I Became a Major League Shortstop, by Ryan Theriot

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Sep 4, 2008 9:06 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason # 7

He was looking for Theriot’s fielding and base running skills.

Unfortunately they are proving nearly impossible to find.

"When I got to Chicago, fans came to Wrigley Field just to have fun, now they come to see us win. The expectations have changed, for the players and for the fans. It’s about winning." Kerry Wood, 7/14/08

by JB 23 on Sep 4, 2008 9:07 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

haha

you are the best

by Glacier on Sep 4, 2008 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

thank you

"When I got to Chicago, fans came to Wrigley Field just to have fun, now they come to see us win. The expectations have changed, for the players and for the fans. It’s about winning." Kerry Wood, 7/14/08

by JB 23 on Sep 4, 2008 1:18 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Reason #5

He went to visit the Tampa Rays and to see what NOT to do as they implode

Cubs Win!! Cubs Win!

by Ihatethecards on Sep 4, 2008 9:08 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #4

He was getting treatment for another bruise on his leg from breaking a bat over it.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Sep 4, 2008 9:08 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason # 3

He was at the grocery store picking out bananas to eat on the day off.

"I love this world. I hope hell is as much fun!"

by HIGGY on Sep 4, 2008 9:09 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #2

He was visiting Prince Fielder – giving him diet & hitting advice

Cubs Win!! Cubs Win!

by Ihatethecards on Sep 4, 2008 9:10 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #1

MRI Scanners are much more fun to break than a gatorade cooler. No one would let him go near one.

by ak123 on Sep 4, 2008 9:13 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Reason #6 (skipped above)

He was at City Hall legally changing his name to Tres Ocho.

Go ahead, Z me.

by tony412 on Sep 4, 2008 9:14 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Mine

He was at Bears camp giving it a try at QB. He watched Grossman and Orton and knows he can do better!

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 9:16 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

The Bears are stilling playing?

Hmm, hadnt noticed….

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. - Homer J Simpson

by MikeOxbyg on Sep 4, 2008 9:18 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

well the Cubs average 5.36 runs a game....

Bears will probably average right around there for points per game – so it is really a wash.

"I love this world. I hope hell is as much fun!"

by HIGGY on Sep 4, 2008 9:24 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Gonna go from baseball right to hockey

…and that is just fine with me. Got my season tickets the other day. Brings back memory of Chicago Stadium days when I first opened up that registered mail envelope to see those Section X Mezz season tickets fresh off the press.

Sweet Lou for Mayor in '11.

by blackhawk24 on Sep 4, 2008 9:30 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Our office is getting

4 seats for 5 games, splitting season tickets with 9 other folks. Getting pretty excited for the Hawks, ranked the games we want last night for our raffle.

Lets do it Cubbies

by slocs55 on Sep 5, 2008 7:47 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Big time Bears fan

I bleed orange and navy blue like I bleed Cubbie blue but how involved I am in the Bears every season early on is determined a lot by how good the Cubs are.

If my life depended on knowing a lot about the early 84, 89, 03, 98 or 07 Bears I’d be dead.

Scary thing is if given a chance Z might be better than Rex or Kyle!

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Like i keep telling everyone...

Peyton Manning or Tom Brady could not run this offense. The O line is pathetic, and our skilled positions are even worse.

Z would probably work better as a RB.

"I love this world. I hope hell is as much fun!"

by HIGGY on Sep 4, 2008 11:14 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

OR

Or on the line.

I think theother problem is if he were to give up baseball and join the Bears Samardzija would probably be #2 at worst!

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 11:24 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Z at Bears camp

He couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to play with a bat.

Go ahead, Z me.

by tony412 on Sep 4, 2008 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Better than looking for Dlees power stroke

He was working out at first base to play when he doesn’t pitch and/or teaching DLee how to hit homeruns.

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 9:17 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

The Real # 1

Busy hanging out with Mark Prior

"Bring On The Major Leagues" Stephen Malkmus

by graceunderpressure on Sep 4, 2008 9:37 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Then What's the fake #1?

Go All In and Enjoy The Ride.

by Jayo525 on Sep 4, 2008 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

No way

At least Z knows what a baseball field looks like.

by dr stabbingworth on Sep 4, 2008 12:45 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is so weird...

I just e-mailed my own Top 10 list on this same subject to a friend at work. Guess we could all use a laugh or two today, huh?

10. Got lost on the way there.

9. Accidentally went to outdoor superstore REI instead.

8. Love of Wile E. Coyote cartoons as a child instilled deep-seated fear of giant magnets.

7. Had to make a right turn to get there, shoulder discomfort prevented it.

6. Carl Everett convinced him MRIs don’t exist. "Nobody ever saw magnetism," Everett was quoted as saying.

5. Zambrano asked to use doctor’s computer to Photoshop MRI to remove damage to shoulder, used mouse, destroyed elbow.

4. Milwaukee Brewers appealing results of MRI, official scorer’s decision to be determined Friday.

3. Rich Harden told him to wait his turn.

2. Mike Downey texted him in a panic asking him to hold off one more day, since he had a killer Tom Cruise joke he wanted to use.

And the # 1 reason Carlos Zambrano missed his MRI yesterday: Six words: Boneless Wednesdays at Buffalo Wild Wings.

by SplintChesthair on Sep 4, 2008 9:41 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Cue Paul and the band!

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 9:44 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Go All In and Enjoy The Ride.

by Jayo525 on Sep 4, 2008 9:52 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

"This balls got a chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannce, GONE!" - Pat Hughes

by SouthsideCUBSfan on Sep 4, 2008 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Boneless Thursdays

I think Wednesdays are for kids meals. That could make sense too with some of his behavior :-)

by AndHart120 on Sep 4, 2008 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

D'oh!

I knew that sounded wrong. Oh well.

by SplintChesthair on Sep 4, 2008 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

At some locations....

Wednesday from 11-2 is all you can eat Boneless or Bone-In with Fries of choosing for 11 bucks….

Great way to get through the week

I know the Geneva, Elgin and Warrenville locations do this.

by PirateDan on Sep 4, 2008 9:58 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just got the Spanish copy of Madden 09...

"Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico." -- Harry Carey

by TheRiot Police on Sep 4, 2008 10:01 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Wanted to watch the Speech of Sarah Palin at the RNC

"I guess you had some lean years, and didnt have to beat it hard" - Craig Sager

"Soriano deep to left!! THAT BALL'S GOOOONE!! A HOME RUN!! OHHH BABY!!" -Len Kasper 8/06/08

SORIANO WATCH: AVG: .294 23 HR 63 RBI

by Galvan316 on Sep 4, 2008 10:27 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Another top 10 list

I came up with this the other day and was waiting for a place to put it.

“Top Ten Signs You’re In Love With Geovany Soto”

10. You are actually Mrs. Geovany Soto.

9, You decide to learn to be a catcher just to be like him despite being 40 years old with bad knees.999

8. Your card in your wallet says “In case of emergency call Geovany Soto”

7. You watch Star Wars Movies because Solo is so close to Soto.

6. You buy a Chevy Geo because it makes you feel close to him.

5. You watch the CUbs with your eyes closed imagining every batter to be Soto.

4. You’ve replaced the pictures of your kids with pictures of Soto.

3. You wear #18 hoping he notices.

2. You get 2 cats just to name them Geovany and Soto.

And the number 1 sign you’re in love with Geovany Soto

1. Your BCB screenname is Sue369!

(Sue please don’t think I’m making fun of you here)

9

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 11:21 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I should just come clean about this....

the reason Z wasn’t available for his MRI was because he’s been working on my campaign. It’s a real grassroots movement, and Z has been instrumental in getting it off the ground. He’s been my webmaster and used his chat-room prowess to really get my name out there! I hope I can count on BCB to support me, and I’m looking forward to serving you!

I’m Santos Woodenlegs, and I approve this message.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 4, 2008 11:25 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

LOL, wow, that's hilarious.

What will these here tubes of the Interwebz allow us to do next?

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Frankly

Frankly without getting too political I’m not so sure you aren’t as good a candidate as either Obama or McCain.

Are you over 35?

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 11:37 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Age is just a number....

and I want to see this country turn away from the divisive “generation gap” that separates us and embrace the change that can bring us together! For too long our society has allowed the year on your birth certificate to dictate your usefulness to America…I say NO MORE! We have the opportunity now to join our minds and hearts in these volatile and trying times to put this country back on track!

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 4, 2008 11:48 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

What is your positiion on Ryan Theriot?

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 11:53 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I wonder

Do you guys know if we bombarded the networks with requests in the debates they’d ask

"Senators, forget global warming, forget the war, forget the economy but America needs to know

What is your position on Ryan Theriot?"

Obama: We need to change. America needs to change. My opponent would continue George W. Bush’s policy on Theriot even though it has failed.

McCain: My opponent lacks the experience to bring this change he speaks of. It sounds well and good but is Ronny Cedeno really what America needs?

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 12:19 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is a very difficult issue...

and I understand the passions on both sides of the issue. This is an example where good people can disagree, but the question then is, are there areas that we can agree to that everybody can get behind? I say yes.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 4, 2008 12:01 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Forgive me...

this was in reply to Mr. Daver.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Sep 4, 2008 12:02 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

When it comes to this matter...

…I trust you can work on both sides of the aisle.

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 12:07 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

He had to run to Bed Bath and Beyond to get Towels

For his simulated game on Thursday

"Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico." -- Harry Carey

by TheRiot Police on Sep 4, 2008 12:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

He is pitching for the Venezuelan little league world series team

In an effort to put him back on the winning track and boost his ego

"This balls got a chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannce, GONE!" - Pat Hughes

by SouthsideCUBSfan on Sep 4, 2008 12:27 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

He stayed up really really late Tuesday night

I hear he’s also a big fan of Lori Loughlin from her Full House days.

Go ahead, Z me.

by tony412 on Sep 4, 2008 12:38 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Interesting

Noticed this was posted at Yahoo’s Big League Stew 1 minute before this post went up.

Seems everyone has one today.

I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am. - Ryne Sandberg

by Trey2317 on Sep 4, 2008 12:58 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Wow, weird.

It’s like some sort of worldwide collective humorous response. For the record, though, I thought some of ours were a lot funnier than that guy’s.

"I see the playoff schedule posted in the paper, and that stuff makes me nervous because you can't take anything for granted. We have a great team. We have a really good team. We're playing well, but we haven't won yet." - Jim Edmonds, 8/31/08

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 4, 2008 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Collective thank you

Collective thank you to all above. Not been an easy day today and you’ve given me some chuckles.

Go Cubs

by cubstoseriesby100 on Sep 4, 2008 1:55 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

He skipped the MRI

because he was trying to see Mark Proir still had his MRI discount card (the one that says buy 5 MRI’s and the 6th is free)

"Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance"

by MerlinDog on Sep 4, 2008 2:16 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

+1

"Hey hey, kiss it goodbye! That one's in Milwaukee! Man oh man did he hit it. Isn't that something?" - Lou Boudreau, May 17, 1979

by danimal15 on Sep 4, 2008 4:05 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of Prior

Is it possible Z missed the MRI because he was too busy doing a towel workout?

Or perhaps he was trying to start a race to break Prior’s all-time simulated games pitched record.

"Hey hey, kiss it goodbye! That one's in Milwaukee! Man oh man did he hit it. Isn't that something?" - Lou Boudreau, May 17, 1979

by danimal15 on Sep 4, 2008 4:05 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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