OT - Parenthood - Bleed Cubbie Blue

OT - Parenthood

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 9:40 AM CDT Comment 74 comments

This is the last update that it's own post, I promise. You guys have all been very patient with me. I'll work updates into the regular threads from now on. And thanks for all the kind thoughts and advice.

I am back at work today. I made it a whole 90 minutes before calling home to see how Mrs. Worf the Evil Cardinals Fan and little Harry Santo Brickhouse Stoney Dawson Walton Grace Drew Sue BLou Worfington was doing. They are fine. My wife is a stone cold professional at this -- she worked in the infant room at a daycare center in her early 20s.

They told me my life would change, and it has. I sleep less and am happier. I have no aversion whatsoever to any bodily fluids from any orifice. I was in Wal-Mart by myself, picking up needed supplies the other day, and wandered to the baby aisle on my own and nearly got him a Spider-Man hooded towel. (He only has about 16 hooded towels)

I was thrilled with myself the other day because I managed to get his onesie over his head and a new one back on without making him cry and having him soil the entire nursery. I can't remember being so stupidly proud of myself.

But I wasn't prepared for just everything to affect me. I am no longer the Worf in Deep Space Nine who fights Jem'Hadar.

I am the Worf who was involved with Troi and who wore cowboy hats and sat in hot tubs. The Worf who was --- well, sickeningly cute. (I hated this version until now)

You know that commercial with the girl who lost her puppy and a network of people use Twitter and Facebook and all that to find it and get it back to her by the time she gets home from putting up posters? Yeah, I cry at that now.

I cry because I think of the child hurting, and then being happy. I cry because of the lost dog (I'm a dog lover too). Damn, I'm a mess. I'm crying thinking about it.

By July of next year, I'll be in knock-down drag-outs with some of you over the state of the Cubs. I'll make fun of statheads and traditionalists who don't believe in the DH. I'll have players I love and players I can't stand and I'll argue with those who have chosen the opposite.

But remember, I'm still Cowboy Hat Worf. I won't go back. I can't.

Little Geovanny Simon Hee Seop Felix Kerry Gary Gaetti Worfington won't let me.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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You'll get a little back to normal...

After the 6 weeks wait!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Oct 14, 2009 9:53 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Just be careful.

As I mentioned in another thread-my kids are 11 months apart.

"Fasten those seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Oct 14, 2009 1:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

ouch!!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Oct 14, 2009 5:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Surprisingly, we did somewhat plan it that way.

We were young and silly.

"Fasten those seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Oct 14, 2009 5:43 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Glad this was mentioned, and hope somebody can clear something up...

You know that commercial with the girl who lost her puppy and a network of people use Twitter and Facebook and all that to find it and get it back to her by the time she gets home from putting up posters? Yeah, I cry at that now.

Was that Tyler Hansbrough of North Carolina / Indiana Pacers fame that found her dog? I feel like i’ve seen the commercial a few times, but each time haven’t been paying enough attention to confirm (generally because i’m in loud bars watching a game of some sort).

Congrats on the kid, and next time you are trolling the isles for outfits, consider a baby Adidas Three Stripe… got one for my nephew and nothing looks rawer.

Dum spiro spero…
Follow me on twitter or else: @andrewjstone.

by AndrewJStone on Oct 14, 2009 10:44 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

That's awesome

If my wife and I end up having a girl, I gotta find one of those. If it’s a boy, I need to find a black one with yellow stripes. Two months is too long to wait to find out.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 14, 2009 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Black and yellow would be AWESOME.

It isn’t easy to find your dream colors here in America, but if you know somebody over in China you can get pretty quality knock-offs in about any color combo in the rainbow over there for the equivalent of about $15. I’ve got a green and white one on it’s way in prep for St. Paddy’s next year.

Dum spiro spero…
Follow me on twitter or else: @andrewjstone.

by AndrewJStone on Oct 14, 2009 11:13 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know if you follow MMA

but the current 185 lbs. champion Anderson Silva came out wearing the black and yellow and it was about the coolest damn track outfit I’ve ever seen.

As for St. Patty’s day, I found a green and yellow Nike track jacket 3 or 4 years ago that I’ve taken pretty good care of, since I only bust it out on St. Patty’s day, as well as a couple of other days/nights out.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 14, 2009 12:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are you guys

expecting Craig?

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 14, 2009 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yep, already

It only took 5 days after the wedding date! We were both ready to try, we just had no idea that it wouldn’t take much trying. We’re both pretty big on Derrek as a first name since that’s her favorite player, and he’s high up on my list as well. If it’s a girl, there’s about a list of 20 that we’re having trouble narrowing it down to.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 14, 2009 12:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Aw congratulations!!!

I hope your wife has an easy pregnancy. I like the name Derrek too.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 14, 2009 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I REALLY pushed for Derrek as a name

But it is too close to my real first name and my wife thought that was too silly.

Congrats! And congrats on the fast service! Mrs. Worf and I tried for four months before the wedding and another four after before finally getting it right.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 3:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Congrats to you too!

I’m quickly discovering what you’ve already discovered probably, which is having a baby is like Luke firing the missile down the heat vent or whatever it was on the Death Star. Literally everything has to go right. It’s insane. Makes me wonder how the planet managed to be overpopulated.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 15, 2009 7:03 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Stay on target. Stay on target.

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Oct 15, 2009 9:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I learned that if you chant

“Make it so” during the baby-making process, you get threatened with artificial insemination

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 15, 2009 9:36 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

My wife was ADDICTED to all those shows

Deliver Me

I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant

Bringing Home Baby

All of them. I had to stop watching. So many things were wrong and also, so many people should be stopped from reproducing.

Unfortunately, SHE’S STILL WATCHING! She was nursing little Ernie Fergie last night and watching I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.

One woman carried a baby for 39 weeks and then was a surprise delivery.

My wife went 39 weeks too. And by week 35, she was absolutely miserable. I do not see how any woman with a functioning cerebellum can NOT know.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 15, 2009 9:26 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I know a woman who

had a baby two years ago and didn’t know she was pregnant. She lost weight, had irregular periods, never felt movement, etc. She wasn’t feeling well and thought maybe she might be pregnant so went to the Dr. (On a Tuesday). They tested and the Dr. came back in the room and said I have some good news and some shocking news. The good news is you are pregnant and the shocking news is you are going to have this baby on Thursday. Of course she and her husband were shocked.

She had a healthy baby girl. They had nothing for the baby so her boss went to Babies R Us and bought everything they needed.

I love the show Deliver Me. I never miss it. Must be a woman thing :D

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 15, 2009 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was probably too harsh

and I’m glad your friend had a healthy girl.

I just know that in the first trimester, Mrs. Worf was so tired she was going to bed at 6:30 p.m. and she ate every cheeseburger in the greater Springfield area.

In the second trimester, she felt the kicks and then he started getting hiccups INSIDE of her.

Then her feet swelled, her back hurt, her stomach went to Biblical proportions and she got the most ferocious sweet tooth ever.

And little Fergie Ryno kicked her ribs so much we could see footprints.

I see the cases on the show… but MAN, that’s hard to fathom.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 15, 2009 12:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

It might be because

you guys were expecting to get pregnant. My friend wasn’t. She wasn’t looking for any of the signs like a couple would that knew they were pregnant. She went out that winter to feed her horses every night and slipped and fell on the ice several times. She felt so lucky her baby was healthy. Like I said she lost weight and felt great all through her pregnancy.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 15, 2009 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

she ate every cheeseburger in the greater Springfield area.

Hahahah!! My wife lived off cheesedip, chips, and salsa for months!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Oct 16, 2009 8:40 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dude

Before we bought our house, it was nothing but home improvement shows or house buying shows.

Prior to our wedding, it was nothing but wedding shows. We’re married now, and she’s still addicted to Say Yes to the Dress.

NOW it’s baby shows and Nanny 911/Supernanny shows…My HDTV has been completely taken over by this programming, so, I know your plight.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 15, 2009 11:48 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

We used to watch Trading Spaces

back when it was “Hey, here’s what you can do for $1,000” and not “Let’s see how bad we can screw up this person’s house!”

But we missed the whole wedding thing. We did a small wedding, so we didn’t have too much to deal with.

All these baby shows… well let me say that the secret to a happy marriage is multiple TVs.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 15, 2009 12:17 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ohhh, I love

Say Yes to the Dress too. :D

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 15, 2009 1:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Congrats, Craig!

How exciting… and Derrek is a great name

by Emelie on Oct 15, 2009 7:40 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thank you!

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 15, 2009 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes that is Tyler in that commercial.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 14, 2009 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Amazing that they'd insert him...

… in a way that wasn’t beat over our heads. I don’t think his name is explicitly stated anywhere?

Dum spiro spero…
Follow me on twitter or else: @andrewjstone.

by AndrewJStone on Oct 14, 2009 1:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I know. I had to

ask someone if that was him even though I was pretty sure it was.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 14, 2009 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

All you had to do was ask a Carolina fan

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.

by carolinacub on Oct 16, 2009 2:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Worf

Fatherhood is a wonderful thing. Congrats again.

If one is wonderful, 4 is heaven!

Don’t let people tell you otherwise. :)

We are working on number 5 right now.

"Manny Trillo is coming in to pinch run. You know, for a lot of teams, you would pinch run for Manny Trillo." - Harry Caray

by Archie on Oct 14, 2009 12:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hard "work" right ?

Tough job but somebody has to do it.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Oct 14, 2009 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Actually one is adopted from Africa

and that was hard work

We are beginning the adoption process again, so, yes. :)

"Manny Trillo is coming in to pinch run. You know, for a lot of teams, you would pinch run for Manny Trillo." - Harry Caray

by Archie on Oct 15, 2009 8:10 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Good for you and Mrs. Archie :-)

by Emelie on Oct 15, 2009 10:19 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Good luck to all of you.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 15, 2009 11:09 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Parting words for Worf

A quote from the Good Book: “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Mustache be gone!

by digitalbenjamin on Oct 14, 2009 12:36 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Aw so adorable.

Recipe for Disaster;
C'mon Cubs, hurry up and blow this so I can relax.
by Bluekoolaide on July22, 2009 3:08 PM CDT

by sue369 on Oct 14, 2009 1:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

About 3 months ahead of you, Worf

Our little guy is going on four months now and I can identify with all of this stuff. I just watched the DVR of the “Clone Wars” cartoon from last week (I am on the other scifi side, sorry) and found myself legitimately worried about the “baby jedi” they were trying to rescue. 5 months back I couldn’t have cared if the bouny hunter vaporized them. Oh and the onesies? Buy some of the ones that zip up… the pull overs and button ups were apparently created for people with unusually small hands .

MIlwaukee is Chicago's largest suburb

by Chubby Hugs on Oct 14, 2009 12:39 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Or women

I’m beginning to be convinced that the entire baby industry has been created to give women one more thing to have over men.

Mrs. Worf has been MUCH better than I thought she’d be about letting me do things, but she still gets a little too much of the, “Move over, I’ll do it” when it comes to dressing him.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 1:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah that will get better

I was kicked off of diaper patrol for a couple of days early on when we had some “quality control” issues with the diapers actually keeping the contents inside the diaper. Apparently getting them a little crooked can cause a BIG problem.

If I fumble with the clothes for too long, I generally just get a look from Mrs. Hugs and a few protest whines from little Hugs. Dad eventually gets it right, but it can be a process and when it is delaying feeding time, no one is happy with delays.

MIlwaukee is Chicago's largest suburb

by Chubby Hugs on Oct 14, 2009 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

HAH!

The first time he wet through a diaper I put on, I got MAJOR eye rolls. Then he did it with one of HER diapers.

Now all of a sudden, he is “pointing up” and we have to adjust him down when putting on the diaper.

Typical. Blames the penis. Even on her week-old son.

My bugaboo was the swaddling. The first time I did it ~~- about 11:30 p.m. in the hospital with a wife doped up on morphine and unable to leave the bed -~~ it was not a very well packed burrito.

I’ve very much improved, but you know women… screw it up once and you hear about it forever.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 3:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Swaddling with a blanket is a pain

Have you tried these. They make it so easy and you can change a diaper and leave the arms swaddled.

by imauis on Oct 15, 2009 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Here's a point of passage for your SECOND child...

With your first child, when they drop the pacifier in the dirt, you either have a spare to give them, or you run home and boil the “nuk-nuk” in hot water to sterilize it before giving it back to the tyke.

With your second kid, when they spit their “binkey” in a pile of dog doo on the afternoon walk, you (the parent) will pick it up, brush it off against your jeans and give it right back to the kid as you move on your merry way.

First kids have it SOOOOO, easy.

And yes, before you ask, I was the THIRD child out of four. Completely nondescript. Not first, not last, just “somewhere in there” amongst the lineage…

"Pain don't hurt you none" - Sparky Anderson (1987)

Obviously Sparky was never a Cubs fan...

by Zeke on Oct 14, 2009 12:53 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I've already noticed a slight softening in the hand-washing thing

At the hospital, we all but posted guards armed with Glocks and Purel at the bassinet.

Now, if I’m messing with one of the dogs and the wife asks me to take the baby for a second, I say, “Wait, let me wash my hands” and she says, “Just take him”

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 1:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh no, the dreaded germs

Let the first one be exposed to a germ here or there (maybe not necessarily a doggie land mine). Otherwise they end up being like some co-workers around here. Germophobes that get a cold 2-3 times every winter; no immunity.

But of all things Worf, please don’t tell me you or your wife will drive the kid 200 YARDS (yes, get in the car in the garage and DRIVE 4 HOUSES to the corner) to the bus stop any day its drizzling or there’s a couple inches of snow.

Just win the next game...!

by blackhawk24 on Oct 14, 2009 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh no, we've already decided that

We figure that Worf-baby and the dogs will end up sharing toys — bright colors, squeaky noises, fun to rip apart.

We just need to get through this nasty flu season and then we’re good to go. By the time he’s toddling around, we’re perfectly willing to let him eat dirt (Hopefully, it’s just dirt)

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 2:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

There's an old expression: "You eat a peck of dirt before you die."

Most likely true…

"Pain don't hurt you none" - Sparky Anderson (1987)

Obviously Sparky was never a Cubs fan...

by Zeke on Oct 14, 2009 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

But, "This too, shall pass..."

"Pain don't hurt you none" - Sparky Anderson (1987)

Obviously Sparky was never a Cubs fan...

by Zeke on Oct 14, 2009 4:58 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

How much is a peck?

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Oct 15, 2009 9:09 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

A "Peck" - a United States dry measure equal to 8 quarts or 537.605 cubic inches.

So, there ’ya go! Eat up!

"Pain don't hurt you none" - Sparky Anderson (1987)

Obviously Sparky was never a Cubs fan...

by Zeke on Oct 15, 2009 10:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

lol....

I am the same way Worf, my wife and I had our 1st, Grace Marie on July 15th. I am now all of a sudden a softy and emotional as well. But what a truly amazing gift they are!

And the name is from my favorite Cub, Mark Grace….she let me win on that one. I wish I knew how to post pics on this site, I have a great pic of us at the Cubs/Rockies game when they were in Denver, but can’t seem to figure it out.

Congrats to you and your family though!

In Heaven there is no beer, That's why we drink it here, and when were gone from here, all our friends will be drinking all our beer!!

by By Santo's Grace on Oct 14, 2009 1:33 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

So in a few months when your wife sends you to the store to buy cereal for him

don’t come home with a box of Cap’n Crunch. She’s asking for the rice cereal and I don’t mean Rice Krispies either. It’s in the baby aisle. It’s mushy stuff like oatmeal. If it has the Gerber baby on it, chances are you’ve got the right one.

"Fasten those seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Oct 14, 2009 1:39 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Wait a minute...

you believe in the DH?!? Why am I talking to you?

"Fasten those seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Oct 14, 2009 1:45 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

We've done a version of that at home already

“Honey, grab me a onesie”

I hand her one.

“No, the long-sleeved”

I hand her one

“No, the one with the puppy dogs”

I hand her one…

“No, stand on your head while doing it…”

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 14, 2009 2:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

To which you reply: "Yes dear."

"Pain don't hurt you none" - Sparky Anderson (1987)

Obviously Sparky was never a Cubs fan...

by Zeke on Oct 14, 2009 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

"...you're right. I'm sorry."

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Oct 15, 2009 9:09 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I love Bob. Hate his incessant repetition of said phrase.

by Emelie on Oct 15, 2009 10:20 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

So no more Worf, the BCB Enforcer/Bully?

Man, this parenthood stuff really is amazing if it can achieve that sort of metamorphosis. But I look forward to the continuing evolution of Worf: The Next Generation. May you all live long and prosper…

And by the way, Cowboy Hat Worf is nothing to be ashamed of (especially if it gets you a cowgirl like Calamity Troi!)

Yeah, so maybe it’s not as high up on the Klingon macho scale as undergoing the painstick gauntlet during the rite of ascension,

but at least it’s not nearly the depths of sickeningly cuteness as reached by one of my other tough guy heroes, Clint Eastwood.

Arggggggggh!!!!!! Oh my eyes! It burns, it burns….!

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Oct 14, 2009 3:59 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

RE: third picture: Goodness sake!

Are you trying to make me go blind????

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!

by Vermont Cubs Fan on Oct 18, 2009 1:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Jayne approves of soppy parents and self knitted hats:

But Jayne still loves Vera:

Well, I never heard it before, but it sounds uncommon nonsense.
- The Mock Turtle, Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll -

by eths on Oct 14, 2009 5:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

"Blou" Worfington ?

That will be one scary kid but maybe he plays some good ball at NIU before going off the deep end. Might be worse than
Evil Mrs. Cards Fan Worf.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Oct 14, 2009 10:54 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Did Blou get the boot again?

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Oct 15, 2009 8:38 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pooping is king!

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Oct 15, 2009 9:10 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'll bet baby Worfington packs some mean sand

by Emelie on Oct 15, 2009 10:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was wondering about that.

How come BLou gets in but I don’t?

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!

by Vermont Cubs Fan on Oct 18, 2009 1:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Anyway, congratulations.

by Fraggin Judge on Oct 14, 2009 11:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

OK, Craig...

After 9 days of doing laundry, cleaning, mowing, taking care of the dogs and doing everything I possibly could to support my wife, I got the “I’m fine. Stop patronizing me.” routine.

She’d gone out and run a bunch of errands and showed little Worf around. Now she’s exhausted, but won’t admit it and won’t let me shop or do laundry because she’ll get to it tomorrow.

So do everything you can do to help your wife. And then don’t. And then do.

Or just put your head underneath a jackhammer at a construction site. It’ll be less painful.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 15, 2009 8:53 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

remember, her hormones are still loopy doop

continue being the good husband/father you are ;-)

by Emelie on Oct 15, 2009 9:41 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I generally just stay on one speed

which is help as much as I can. I will say this though, a couple weekends back I was set to go tailgating, but I spent the day with her instead, but said I was going to go watch the game at my cousin’s house. That was fine, until I went to leave, and then it was WW3. Since then, I’ve learned that the alien that is using my wife’s body as a host is making her do strange things and that nothing should surprise me anymore.

Oddly enough, she doesn’t care about me playing video games now. It’s not that she doesn’t like them, because she would play Rock Band, anything on the Wii, or she’s even fire up the SNES every once in awhile, but she wouldn’t care for me playing NHL or Halo or Modern Warfare online. Now, she couldn’t care less. I don’t get it, but again, nothing should surprise me at this point.

www.facebook.com/craighudak

by Craig in South Bend on Oct 16, 2009 6:58 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

It will change

I go by a Super Wal-Mart, two Walgreens and two other grocery stores on my way home from work, so I call every day before I leave home to see if I need to pick anything up.

Yesterday, I got the “I will call YOU if I need anything. You don’t have to call.”

I am on to her evil scheme. You see, she has forgotten that several months ago, she did the same thing and I foolishly thought she was telling me the truth. Sure enough, I got the, “Oh, I didn’t know you were on your way home… I’d have had you get …”

So I will call every day.

So, the moral of the story is to enjoy the video games while you can, and then be prepared to apologize for spending too much time on them. And then be prepared to apologize for making her feel like a shrew because you apologized in the first place.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 16, 2009 8:53 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

That should be "I call every day before I leave work"

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Oct 16, 2009 8:53 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

sadly, the above scenario is not limited to periods of pregnancy or immediately thereafter.

It can (and does) happen anytime. Furthermore, it is guaranteed to happen as soon as you believe you’ve built up enough goodwill and planned for every possible contingency to ensure that it won’t happen. Ha!

Men of America – face it, we’re screwed…

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Oct 16, 2009 10:29 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Hey, Worf! You know who else just became a Dad? MARK DEROSA

I bring you from the hallowed halls of Twitter:

@JoeStrauss: DeRosa became Dad WED. Will shop for more opinions on wrist next week in Balt. and Atl. Surgery f’sure. Not sure when and by whom. #stlcards

Joe Strauss is the beat reporter for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Oct 16, 2009 11:28 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I haven't said this yet,

But congrats, Worf! Hope little Alexander does well!

I’m not a parent, but I was 16 when my cousin was born, so I remember him when he was little. He looked up to me as a mixture of father and cousin for years, and I think he still does.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!

by Vermont Cubs Fan on Oct 18, 2009 1:10 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

This is way, way, way late....

… but congratulations. If there’s one thing Brewer fans and Cubs fans can probably agree on is that parenthood is awesome. And the “sleep less” part ends relatively soon. Six weeks if you’re lucky. Six months if you’re not (like me). Either way, being a Dad is pretty much the greatest thing you’ll ever get to do.

Personally, I don't give a crap about Brett Favre.

by Ted Simmons Speed Camp on Oct 21, 2009 10:08 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs