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New Cubs Headshots

I noticed today on Cubs.com that all the players have their 2009 headshots up.  I remember last year everyone enjoyed discussing and laughing at some of them.  Chad Gaudin definitely wins craziest facial hair award. 

Well take a look at http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/team/roster_active.jsp?c_id=chc to see them all! So which guys look like they were posing for a mug shot this year? And which guys pictures will never be seen on a major league website again?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

5 recs  |  Comment 26 comments

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Well after looking at all of them, here are my favorites:

1 – Looks exactly the same as last year (Dome):

2 – Doesn’t know how to wear a hat (Heilman):

3 – Most likely to be an eastern European painter (Hart):

4 – Well-groomed (Cotts):

5 – Most photogenic/excited to be 5th starter (Marshall):

6 – Shark:

7 – Not applicable/insufficient sample size/flu-like symptoms on picture day (GameBoard):

8 – Somehow looks younger, and the facial hair, more whispy (Geo):

9 – And the runner-up for facial hair goes to Reed:

10 – Chad Guadin wins the 2009 Headshot with an incredible waterfall of chin hair:

Evey Hammond: Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici. V: By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

by dtpollitt on Mar 19, 2009 10:49 PM CDT reply actions   1 recs

7. (Milton Bradley's)

BRAVO! I spit out a bit of coffee when I read it.

One day I hope to come up with something worthy of this space.

by chilango2 on Mar 20, 2009 10:13 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I loved the whispy comment

I'm curious if I will follow the Cubs with a different perspective after last year, we will soon find out, thank God!

by slocs55 on Apr 1, 2009 8:15 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Entertaining post.

Seriously, are we sure Dome has another headshot? That’s gotta be last years version haha. Gaudin’s is ridiculous. Shark looks like he’s rocking the mullet. And Marshall looks like he’s saying “I’ve got the 5th spot, biatches!”

"Pounding sand since 1982...."

by cubswynn on Mar 19, 2009 11:57 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

im pretty sure

since hes busy with Japan he missed picture day and its the same one from last year.. the background is a diff. color than everyone elses

"You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace."

by All The Way on Mar 20, 2009 4:08 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Some One-Liners...

…I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring with a few one-liners…

Ascanio – Winner of the “Slightly tilted to his left (our right)” award.

Atkins – Winner of the “Most likely to be confused with either an alien or Angelina Jolie’s brother” award.

Gregg – Winner of the “Oddly 100% symetrical face” award.

Also, if you had no idea how tall he was, dont you think you could give a fairly accurate guess just by looking at the headshot of Mike Fontenot?

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought you ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.
Joe Garagiola

by Ryan at Cubshub on Mar 20, 2009 1:11 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I like

Cotts and Marshall’s the most…WOW!!!! I dont get what guadin is thinking with that facial hair…..

by KC in OK on Mar 20, 2009 1:37 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

he is using it to distract us

away from his stats

"I like coconuts, you can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun" Widespread Panic

by Cubbie-Tim on Mar 20, 2009 8:32 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Since Gaudin's been stinking it up in spring training,

he should conclude that it’s bringing him bad luck and shave it off.

PLEASE!!!!!

Hey, it's a new century!

by cowsarecool220 on Mar 20, 2009 11:07 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

The lighting is definately better

than last year. Everyone was pretty whited out. That is last years Kosuke picture, probably hasn’t been around for picture day yet. The majority of the pictures are definately better than last years I think.

by AndHart120 on Mar 20, 2009 8:15 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

3. Kevin Hart apparently has to go to the bathroom.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Mar 20, 2009 8:18 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Marshall's shot

reminds me of last year’s comments about Marquis. Marquis looked like the picture was taken right after finding out the possibility of moving to the bullpen, Marshall looks like he is reacting to being named the 5th starter.

by AndHart120 on Mar 20, 2009 8:36 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Ahhh the bearded ones

Ya know they kinda look like they may be House of David minor leaguers

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.

by carolinacub on Mar 20, 2009 9:06 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Ramirez........

Aramis is the only one I saw who looked slightly high….seemed like there were more last year lol

Chuck Norris is a Cubs fan...

by Walker71421 on Mar 20, 2009 9:17 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Guzman

has to win the award for craziest eyes.

"It's the fans that need spring training. You gotta get 'em interested. Wake 'em up and let 'em know that their season is coming, the good times are gonna roll." ~ Harry Caray

by gwood on Mar 20, 2009 9:24 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Lilly...

looks like he’s got a sneer. Like he smells a Molina brother in the area and wants to unload.

by CubFan81 on Mar 20, 2009 10:02 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Is it just me...

Or does Reed kind of look like that guy from Anthrax?

by hmlee on Mar 20, 2009 11:42 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

you're going to have to be more specific

and Geo DOES look younger…

"That’s the great thing about baseball, you never know what’s going to happen till you get the final out." — Lou Piniella

by drewishdrewid on Mar 20, 2009 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Scott Ian.

Brothers maybe?

I bleed blue... and red, but that's not my fault. I didn't get to choose that one.

by BabeRuthPose on Mar 21, 2009 2:39 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Scott Ian.

Brothers maybe?

I bleed blue... and red, but that's not my fault. I didn't get to choose that one.

by BabeRuthPose on Mar 21, 2009 2:40 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Twin brothers, apparently.

:-)

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Mar 21, 2009 4:31 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

HaHaHa

True. I’ve also always thought with a name like that he should be playing something like polo instead of baseball.

"I've got an idea...an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about." ~Peter Griffin

by Goodie1969 on Mar 20, 2009 2:15 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Big Z

has that look that you get when you really have to drop a deuce, and are holding it in…. I bet he sprinted to the toilet after that shot… or his little smirk is cause he just farted giving away his upcoming poop saga

WOW WHAT A SEASON!

by SouthsideCUBSfan on Mar 23, 2009 9:44 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Others

Bako – Been here done this look
Wonder Hampster – checkin out some girls ass just in time for the pic
Aram – just smoked a doobie in the clubhouse
Theriot – looks like one of those faceinhole.com pics where you crop your picture into another, and occasionally you make your head to big in comparison to the rest of the picture.
Sam Fuld – looks like the smartass of the team
Marmol – gonna fly away with those ears.. someone get him some peanuts before dumbo gets angry
Harden – Looks like hes in pain – go figure
Gregg – BEER BOOOONNGGG!!!!
Angel Guzman – taking it back to the old days, hopped up on speed

WOW WHAT A SEASON!

by SouthsideCUBSfan on Mar 23, 2009 9:57 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I'll take a few shots....

Gaudin- This terrible thing looks photoshopped doesnt it?
Zambrano- Hurry up and get this picture, I had lots of beans for dinner last night.
Bako- This is my best Bill Murray face
Fontenot- Look, im Mini Me
Hoffpauir- Im half assed drunk, with a half assed smile and half assed goatee
Miles- I farted.
Ramirez- Heeeey maaan whazzup?
Bradley- I’ll make a big cheesy smile so everyone thinks im not an ass like they thought I was before I signed.
Soriano- I’ll tone down my smile this year so hopefully it will help tone down the injuries as well.

by AndHart120 on Mar 23, 2009 2:52 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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