New Cubs Headshots

1 – Looks exactly the same as last year (Dome):

2 – Doesn’t know how to wear a hat (Heilman):

3 – Most likely to be an eastern European painter (Hart):

4 – Well-groomed (Cotts):

5 – Most photogenic/excited to be 5th starter (Marshall):

6 – Shark:

7 – Not applicable/insufficient sample size/flu-like symptoms on picture day (GameBoard):

8 – Somehow looks younger, and the facial hair, more whispy (Geo):

9 – And the runner-up for facial hair goes to Reed:

10 – Chad Guadin wins the 2009 Headshot with an incredible waterfall of chin hair:

Seriously, are we sure Dome has another headshot? That’s gotta be last years version haha. Gaudin’s is ridiculous. Shark looks like he’s rocking the mullet. And Marshall looks like he’s saying “I’ve got the 5th spot, biatches!”

…I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring with a few one-liners…

Ascanio – Winner of the “Slightly tilted to his left (our right)” award.

Atkins – Winner of the “Most likely to be confused with either an alien or Angelina Jolie’s brother” award.

Gregg – Winner of the “Oddly 100% symetrical face” award.

Also, if you had no idea how tall he was, dont you think you could give a fairly accurate guess just by looking at the headshot of Mike Fontenot?

Cotts and Marshall’s the most…WOW!!!! I dont get what guadin is thinking with that facial hair…..

than last year. Everyone was pretty whited out. That is last years Kosuke picture, probably hasn’t been around for picture day yet. The majority of the pictures are definately better than last years I think.

reminds me of last year’s comments about Marquis. Marquis looked like the picture was taken right after finding out the possibility of moving to the bullpen, Marshall looks like he is reacting to being named the 5th starter.

Ya know they kinda look like they may be House of David minor leaguers

Aramis is the only one I saw who looked slightly high….seemed like there were more last year lol

has to win the award for craziest eyes.

looks like he’s got a sneer. Like he smells a Molina brother in the area and wants to unload.

Or does Reed kind of look like that guy from Anthrax?

http://houston.astros.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=452254

has that look that you get when you really have to drop a deuce, and are holding it in…. I bet he sprinted to the toilet after that shot… or his little smirk is cause he just farted giving away his upcoming poop saga

Bako – Been here done this look
Wonder Hampster – checkin out some girls ass just in time for the pic
Aram – just smoked a doobie in the clubhouse
Theriot – looks like one of those faceinhole.com pics where you crop your picture into another, and occasionally you make your head to big in comparison to the rest of the picture.
Sam Fuld – looks like the smartass of the team
Marmol – gonna fly away with those ears.. someone get him some peanuts before dumbo gets angry
Harden – Looks like hes in pain – go figure
Gregg – BEER BOOOONNGGG!!!!
Angel Guzman – taking it back to the old days, hopped up on speed

Gaudin- This terrible thing looks photoshopped doesnt it?
Zambrano- Hurry up and get this picture, I had lots of beans for dinner last night.
Bako- This is my best Bill Murray face
Fontenot- Look, im Mini Me
Hoffpauir- Im half assed drunk, with a half assed smile and half assed goatee
Miles- I farted.
Ramirez- Heeeey maaan whazzup?
Bradley- I’ll make a big cheesy smile so everyone thinks im not an ass like they thought I was before I signed.
Soriano- I’ll tone down my smile this year so hopefully it will help tone down the injuries as well.