The Sunday Funnies

I had to download and resize this picture in order to be able to really read it. I made it 1195 pixels by 1207 pixels, and that made it work much better. Can you recommend this to toonmike?

…oh, wait. There isn’t one. So if we’ve got 750 players to choose from, this is the team I can construct, leaning slightly to the Cubs’ favor…I think we could beat the other 725 guys, right? Here’s my determining factors for constructing a team when I can choose from all 750 MLB players:

1 – I like guys that do a bit of everything rather than excel in just one statistic, which is why I chose Adam Jones over someone like Carlos Lee. Jones hits for average and power, is fast, has an excellent arm, a rocket for an arm, and looks to be the player we all wanted Corey Patterson to be. Guys that are well-rounded, are to me more valuable than one’s that score a lot of RBIs or HRs (see: Lee, Ryan Howard, etc.). Granted, Lee’s WAR was over a win higher than Jones’ last year, but Jones is 9 years younger.

2 – Team unity over psychotic pre-Madonnas (A-Rod, Manny, Fielder, etc.). I think most of these guys would get along, but what the hell do I know. 11 of my 25 are in the NL.

3 – I don’t believe in long-relievers or LOOGYs, at least not for this exercise.

4 – I used Cot’s Contracts to determine salaries for 2009.

1B – Pujols – the best player in baseball – $16m
2B – Kinsler – over Utley because of price tag and health – $3m
3B – Wright – a bargain for the best or second best hot corner fielder – $7.5m
SS – Hanley – second best player in baseball – $5.5m
OF – built for speed and defense – Sizemore ($4.6m), Soriano ($16m), Adam Jones ($.435m)
C – the best catcher in the game, sans eye issues – McCann ($3.5m)
Bench – Kendrick – great spot utility starter and excellent defender at 2B & 3B – $0.4m
Braun – power and cockiness…all for seven hundred K! – (gag me, $.745m)
Hamilton ($.555m)
Soto ($.575m)
Crawford ($8.25m)
Alexi ($4.75)
P – My staff is entirely too RHP dominated, but I don’t care; I really subscribe to none of that crap Lou was worried about last year with the Dodgers; if players perform, it shouldn’t matter who they are facing.
Johan ($20m…and he’s worth every penny)
Lincecum ($.65m)
Greinke ($3.75m)
Shields ($1.5m)
Felix ($3.8m)
Harden ($7m)
Shields ($5m)
Soria ($1m)
Papelbon ($6.25m)
Broxton ($1.825m)
Gregg…just kidding, he sucks…Marmol ($.575m)

All for $123.16 million bucks!

Okay, bored on a Sunday waiting for the Superstation. Good job on the cartoon, I look forward to Part 3.

Dan

hilarious.

to make Pujols a Cub. But will the Cub fan cheer for him?