The White Sox.

Thank you for your attention.

Ryan Freel.

-When people use the words “supposably” and “irregardless.”

-Chris Matthews. Not political, just that he’s such a complete horse’s ass.

-Drivers who pointlessly dart from lane to lane on a slow-moving expressway.

-“Theme From A Summer Place” by the Percy Faith Orchestra. For some reason, it just creeps the hell out of me.

-Tyra Banks.

its not gland problem, its child abuse

- Car alarms
- (players who) Take a walk in slo-pitch softball if it’s anywhere near the plate
- Incense
- eharmony and any boner pill commercials
- Queen Latifah

PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS

MILTON BRADLEY

“THE” IN THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY

AGENT SMITH IN THE MATRIX

WHEN MY BEAGLE FARTS IN MY FACE

THE VIEW

PENCILS. PENS ARE SO MUCH MORE USEFUL.

We need more love.

The NBA Playoffs.
Blackouts.
Overplayed commercials.
The criminalization of marijuana.
Having to get up before noon.
My guitarist’s tuning technique.
Trolls who think they aren’t.
Local radio pre-empting the Cubs for Drake football.

Ozzie Guillen
Hearing “Where’s Bartman?” at PNC Park
Keith Olberman
The FanPost Police
Cleaning up by dog’s turds
Rajon Rondo
Having to substitute teach because I can’t find a teaching job in PA
Living 3 states away from Wrigley
Radio stations overplaying songs
Commercials that have babies or animals talking
When people say that there is no defense in the NBA
The fact that Sampson set IU Hoops back 5 years

That’s all I can think of at the time. I feel a little better.

Who does he have to kill to get into the lineup? It’s beyond obnoxious at this point.

- Having a stoplight turn red, only to find no cars waiting to go

- The girl on the progressive insurance commercials

- “Jimmy” on the capital one commercials

- Beyonce’s “put a ring on it” song

- People who hold the door open for you, even though you are 20 feet away from it. Making you run up to it quickly

- Bud Light/ Miller Light/ Coors Light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh7n7_DJZxM

in no particular order:

-Michael Vick

-mayonnaise

-sleep crust in my eyes

-MLB blackout rules

-drivers who stop at yellow lights

Anyone besides Elvis that sings Blue Christmas
Olives
People who cut you off in traffic
Minnosota Vikings
Michigan Wolverines
Most of the people on CNBC, CNN & FOX

People who bag on lost having never watched it

People who claim they have watched lost because they saw an episode of season 3

People who bag on the Dave Matthews Band having never listened to it

People who claim they have listened to DMB because they’ve “heard him on the radio” or own Everyday

Morning wood

Ignorance

The majority of people I attend classes with (see above for explanation)

losing

people who get on an off the Chicago Cubs train (what on earth was this place like in 2006??? holy shit)

Bugs

fat bitches

skinny bitches

bitches

Cubs fans who embarrass my team, loyalty, and colors when I’m wearing them (which is everyday)

What a wonderful day for this, my list.

Annoying co-workers

Mel the annoying guy at my favorite bar

My buddy the micro-beer snob

Beer snobs in general

The Temperance movement

Prohibition

The end of the “Three-martini-lunch”

Interventions

uh-oh a pattern has developed – Oh what the hell, one thing I DO NOT HATE is drinking.

- People who talk in the movie theater

- That most people seem to think a turn signal is optional equipment on a car

- Sox fans who just don’t understand… We don’t hate the Sox… We Don’t hate the southside
   We Don’t hate Sox fan… The opposite of love is not hate… it’s indifference…

- Chicago Taxi Drivers

Really? $20 for a bunch of stuff I can get from another website for free, plus the audio which I ALREADY PAID $15 FOR?! JUST GO AWAY ALREADY, YOU THIEVING BASTARDS….

midgets
organized religion
coldplay
tom cruise
political correctness

But I do love this post. Carry on.

people who argue about paying a valid bill

the phrase “i sopke to someone there who said”
 
MLB blackout

anyone who cannot accept responsibility

People who make that weird whistling sound through their nose when they breathe

People who think they are sooooo important while talking on their stupid cellphones. Like anyone really gives a crap what they are talking about. Shut the hell up already. Stop yelling on a crowded bus or in a restaurant. Go home and talk in private.

When you are in a movie theatre and its NOT CROWDED at all, and some dumbass has to sit right freakin next to you out of all the empty seats in the whole damn room!! What is that?? Go away. Sit at least one row away from me

People who go to baseball games and leave before the 9th inning. Whats the point of that? Thats like going to a movie and leaving halfway through. Makes no sense.

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

When people say “life is short”. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Pitchers who seem to think the object of the game is to pitch around home plate.

1. Colds that turn into sinus infections.

2. Slow-loading Web pages.

3. That Amstel Light “Dam Good City” commercial, even though I do like Amstel Light.

4. Dr. Phil.

5. Winter.

oops, sorry……

Parents who think that their screaming child (in public) is just the cutest thing ever

People who can’t take their blue tooth off when they are not on the phone

Drivers who have to race to the front of the line of traffic when two lanes merge, expecting to get let in

Ken Harrelson

The ESPN-ization of American sports

When my dogs come in from the back yard with wet feet/bodies and proceed directly to my newly cleaned bed.

Credit card application mailings

CNN iReporters

… anybody that talks down to me at my part time job, assuming its my main source of income and that therefor they are superior to me. I’m there for FUN, jackass. And treating me like shit makes you infinitely less likely to get what you want.

… my neighbor above my apartment, fondly known in my circles as “Stomps McGee”.

… pivot tables in Excel.

… whoever stole my identity last year.

… your mom.

But there isn’t enough room on the Internets. :)

At the moment…

First dates
Being strung along
Sleepless nights
Microsoft Word
Having to explain the same concept numerous times to the same exact people
The Ratings Percentage Index
SportsCenter
Hurricanes
Driving slow in the fast lane
People who think they are massively important and have to race to the front of the merge lane to get in before everyone else
Driving in the DC area in general
The DC Metro’s idiotic, unpredictable weekend schedules
Whingeing, screaming children
The noisy neighbors upstairs
The damn kid down the hall who insists on running down said hall every time he must traverse it
MLB’s TV policies
Ticketmaster
A whole slew of professional and major college sports teams and the idiotic ones among their fan bases

in this post

I hate…

People with two free hands talking with that thing in their ear

Last call

Ryan Braun

One night stands that don’t leave you alone

Non-Smoking laws in Illinois

$6 Jack/Coke’s with no Jack in them

Called 3rd Strikeouts

Cops

1) Carson Daley’s show
2) People who eat loudly in public
3) Every Seal song
3) Chicago Winters
4) People who take the liberty of shorting my name from Benjamin to Ben
5) Lists of things people hate.

The Celtics
kU
Tim Tebow
Tyler Hansbrough
Every person in St Louis
The fact that I will probably never see the Cubs win a World Series
Hockey

People who open up packages in stores and leave the item on the shelf.

Computer viruses – Don’t these assholes have something better to do?

Smelly feet.

Since hating is so many peoples hates…
10) NFL Draft
9) NBA Draft
8) The NBA (Bulls I like because of MJ when I was coming of age)
7) College Basketball
6) March Madness
5) Ron Santo when the Cubbies are doing poorly
4) That I cant get 1350 on my radio at work
3) That Wrigley is 6 hours from my home
2) Farmer’s Markets (or more so everyone’s multiple orgasms over them)
1) David Letterman’s top 10 list.

People who treat IT people like shit.
People in my fantasy league who think I’ll trade KRod and Josh Johnson for your backup infielder because I’m a girl.
Chicago cab drivers who rear end me on state street while I’m stopped at a red light.
Pedestrians who wear headphones and randomly walk into the street without noticing that I’m coming.
Bicyclists who ride the wrong way down one-way streets. Traffic laws apply to you too!
Georgetown Law

Paying Bills

Turtlehead

Amateur Drinkers

My Honda civic…cause it won’t die and give me the justification to go buy something from this decade

Rental Car Return Lots…especially those miles away from where they should be

Obese people on a plane

And most importantly….I hate the fade away shot in the middle of a delicious sex scene. Let em finish!!!!!

who throw back HR balls and do not understand the tradition behind it

STOP DRAGGING IT OUT.

I SHOULD BE WORKING!!!

1. A Cubs Loss
2. St. Louis Cardinals
3. Detroit Red Wings
4. North Carliona Tar Heels
5. USC Trojans
6. Green Bay Packers
7. Michigan Wolverines
8. New York Knicks
9. Tom House
10. Wins from said teams
11. Cubs fans who care about the Sox losing when not playing the Cubs

University of Florida, their fans, their students, their alumni, their jean short wearing, cigarette/Copenhagen pounding, mullet wearing, bass boat driving, Ford F-350 jackasses. You too University of Miami. And Duke.

Fans that feel the need to insult you as your team lost walking out of the stadium. (I went to Boise for the NCAA Tournament – props to you Wisconsin fans for not getting in my face.)

Pretty much anybody who roots really really way too hard for a university sports team that didn’t go there. And stop saying ‘we’. Show me your diploma.

Bandwagon fans. Paging everybody in Florida with the Gators, Rays, and Magic. Where were you all year. Why, those are brand new Dwight Howard and Evan Longoria jerseys.

Power thirsty cops like the one in Dallas, and there are more than you think (also includes university cops)

The 15 second tutorial on how to leave a voice mail the phone gives you. Yes, I know to start talking at the beep. And what the hell happens if I page someone by pressing 4?

My neighbors who think its cool to party until 4:30am, my neighbors who don’t know how to work a damn roundabout/traffic circle at the start of my traffic complex

Dryers that take 3 times as long as the washer to finish what they’re doing, throwing off everything

People that are rude and just mean and insulting in my job just because its widely accepted and understood that its allowable. (I work in TV.)

Tipping – can’t we be like Europe and have a VAT? What it costs is what it costs, and servers actually get paid.

Places that don’t allow debit cards. I don’t carry cash. It’s 2009. Get with the program.

Oil companies, cable companies, internet companies, when my hot water heater trips and its cold and I can’t take a shower, cowbells, and highway construction.

People that think hurricanes are really a big deal in North Florida (and I’m tired of explaining why they aren’t if you don’t live within ten miles of the water.)

Ambiguous sea creatures: jellyfish, eels, stingrays, squid, and those giant worm things.

…you’re right, that did make me feel better.

Have you ever been in line in a supermarket checkout behind a person who was buying about 300 things and who just stood there for the 15 minutes it took the checker to ring it up?

And only after the checker was done THEN started to root around for money as if he/she was surprised that they actually had to pay for it?

And THEN started fumbling around for the exact change even though the cashier does this all day long and can make change 1,000 times faster than you can?

I HATE THAT!

And, also, I hate major streets in the city of Chicago where every single freaking traffic signal is out of sync with the next one, no matter whether you go the speed limit or not, and so you miss every single green light.

If you have ever driven on Ashland from about Roscoe to Bryn Mawr, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

That was my afternoon. Not fun.

Lousy officiating in any sport
The White Sux
Poor service at restaurants
Paying for an extended warranty, then fighting to get the company to pay their share
Gaining weight
Politicians
Spinning the phrase “global warming” into “climate change” to try and fool people
Taking an online course and the teacher takes 5 days to answer email
Getting old
At work, supervisors/managers that do the easy thing instead of the right thing when it comes to the team
Lousy drivers
Gas prices that take weeks to drop but rise in hours/days

http://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2009/5/22/883758/infographic-a-century-of-suck

is there any reason for a Cubs fan to post this?

-Constant reminders, like I need them, that the Cubs haven’t won the WS since woodrow wilson(Cards fans do their best to give Cubs fans a history lesson at every game)

-Eye gunk in the morning

-Allergies

-Coffee that burns your tongue and ruins your sense of taste for 3 days

-Running out of milk when I want cereal for breakfast

-Missing Cubs games here in St. Louis

-The pathetic excuse for cheese fries they have in every city but Chicago

-People who ask me inappropriate questions on the train to work

-Boob distractions at inopportune moments

Had to add this one…

Meatball Fan Syndrom… Stop appealing to the lowest common denominator when it comes to local sports. Expecting fans to be intelligent should be the goal. We don’t need to live in this rhelm of “Bear weather”, MJ was a God and the Cubs should still play 81 day games at Wrigley. I’m from Chicago and proudly say that Oldstyle Beer sucks, Ditka is an egotistical ass who kept the Bears from winning more super bowls, John Cusack and Jim Belushi do not represent my city and I don’t care what team my manager or coach played for, just win!

Jerks behind home plate talking on cell phones and waving
Bud Light Lime. Or any beer with lime. Or any Bud product
Keith Olbermann
Letterman
That Brewers fan who scratched an “X” in my passenger mirror when I was in Milwaukee
Taxes
Aaron Miles
Aaron Hileman
Anyone named Aaron
Cubs games on the west coast
Any team from Boston
Late season or playoff football indoors
Animal abuse or neglect
stephen colbert – Does he live every second of his life in some kind sarcastic moment?
The Diary Queen “mouth” commercials
Jamie Lee Curtis’ gray hair
Steve Carell – He just creeps me out
People who pass me on the right when I’m already doing 30mph above the speed limit
Most of the people on “digg”
People who are in multiple commercials for different companies
How my local independent league baseball team charges for parking when there really is no other way to get to the stadium. If you want the money, just increase ticket prices. jeez.
Nascar – drive fast, turn left.
House flippers
Any beer that comes in a green bottle
Configuring NIC interface speed and duplex settings on Solaris operating systems