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Things that will happen before the Cubs find their offense.

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We all know this month long offensive funk as been painful. You're gonna either laugh or cry. So let's laugh and have some fun, eh?

It feels like the Cubs are never gonna start hitting, let's start a tongue-in-cheek list of things that have a better chance of happening before the Cubs find their offense.  It'll start the the list off.
  • Aaron Miles get's hot and locks down 2B for the remainder of the season.
  • The Cubs re-sign Mark Derosa
  • Lou takes Soriano out of the lead-off spot.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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