Top 10 Reasons I'm not watching Friday Night

by ak123 on Aug 20, 2009 11:59 PM CDT Comment 50 comments

Okay, so I'm frustrated like everyone else and I've made a pact to myself. Tomorrow is Friday night, I want to have fun and not waste the evening watching the Cubs despite if they win or lose.

Therefore instead of bitching I wrote a Letterman style "Top 10 Reasons Why I will not watch the Cubs this Friday Night".

Try doing your own and without being angry.

10. If Lou isn't paying attention to the game, why should I?

9. If the Cubs are playing that means Soto hasn't touched the all you can eat buffet.

8. I'll strike out with the ladies a lot less than Soriano will at the plate.

7. Alcohol helps me forget about the playoffs in 2008 more than any weekend series in LA.

6. When I hang out with my friends, we don't call the guy we can't stand. Unfortunately the Cubs are too nice and will call Aaron Miles to pinch hit.

5. We're not capable of landing on the DL even with our excessive alcohol consumption.

4. If I go out in NY, I can still laugh at Mets fans.

3. We don't believe in sausage fests so wherever we go there will be a lot less balls then what Marmol throws.

2. We don't know anybody with a first or last name spelled Gregg with two G's.

And the number 1 reason I won't be watching the Cubs tomorrow night:

1. I can't complain on Saturday about a game I haven't seen the night before.

Wow this was harder than I thought. But once I got to #4 I couldn't give up. I'm sure some of the creative people on here can come up with better ones. Oh and if Cubs made some miraculous comeback. well this was all done in fun :)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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This was actually pretty funny

rec’d :P

DA CUBS DA BEARS DA BULLS

by Rudey on Aug 21, 2009 12:08 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

well done

by tim815 on Aug 21, 2009 12:33 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I personally thought number ten was the best

very funny post

by murphymj on Aug 21, 2009 12:35 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

But I really wanted to harp on the fact

As Cubs fans, I almost feel like we’re obligated to watch every game. Tomorrow is a west coast Friday Night game. That means you’re going to see it at 9 or 10PM most likely. If you’re frustrated why should you stay in and possibly disapointed. Go out with friends, spend a night playing a board game with your family, go swimming, or just watch a movie you’ve wanted to rent.

I’ve watched maybe 90% of the entire season. I’ll probably watch 90% of the remaining even if we get eliminated early. But we all deserve a night out not being frustrated with the Cubs.

by ak123 on Aug 21, 2009 12:39 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

If you're going to see a movie

Go see Inglorious Bastards. Unfortunately I said to myself tonight “I can watch the Cubs and the movie!” The former was a poor decision. The latter…well IMO it was Quentin Tarantino’s best movie since Pulp Fiction

"If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, 'Sorry, Mom,' but nobody beats me." ~ Leo Durocher

by Musicdude10 on Aug 21, 2009 4:28 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm planning on seeng it during the game

Reviews have been incredibly solid, so I’m excited.

by madcow256 on Aug 21, 2009 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

yes # 10 was my favorite

and since I do live in New York # 4 works for me.
I think for me # 11 would be " Another game in which Sam Fuld sits on the bench while Soriano starts "

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Aug 21, 2009 12:42 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

#10 came first to me

I just wrote them in order of when they came.

BTW I know I said I’d come down to one of those meetup.com times in NYC but can you understand why I don’t want to spend $25 roundtrip from Stamford to watch a Cubs game I can get on in EI this year?

I’ll try to go next year, maybe opening day?

by ak123 on Aug 21, 2009 12:46 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Awesome.

100 years would have been nice, but 101 years still has a nice ring to it.

by airweino on Aug 21, 2009 12:59 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Funny post ak

I’m going to the game tomorrow so here is my top ten protest things to do at the game:

10 Wake up Lou by heckling his every move
9 Wear my jersey inside out
8 Cheer like we won the world series if we get a runner to 2nd base
7 Lead dodger fans in chant of “Miles sucks”
6 Stay in parking lot and tailgate all game long
5 Get Milton to throw a live ball to me during game and if not then throw one at him
4 Drink heavily with friends and pay no attention to game at all
3 Dress like death with a sickle wearing a Cubs jersey
2 Bring a dozen beach balls to keep me occupied during our at bats
1 Get there early, have Sori sign a souvenir ball and then throw it back onto the field.

All in fun, except for the drinking heavily thing.

Say this much for big league baseball - it is beyond question the greatest conversation piece ever invented in America. ~Bruce Catton

by KaliCub on Aug 21, 2009 3:29 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

#3 is fantastic

The grim reaper is certainly a Cubs fan.

by Zonk on Aug 21, 2009 9:05 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I LOVE #7

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Aug 21, 2009 8:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I only came up with 1 good reason

1. I’ve run out of clothes to wear while watching in hopes that this will be the lucky outfit to change the Cubs’ mojo.

by Arbusto on Aug 21, 2009 9:21 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Thank you for the laugh

Here is one
If Soriano thinks he can chase and get that outside slider so easily, I can chase and get that hot girl at the bar easily….right?

Tweeting about the Cubs most of the time from @jmkobus

by jkobus on Aug 21, 2009 11:34 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Top 10 Reasons I AM watching Friday Night

10) If they put Miles in I can console myself by having a beer.
9) If they don’t put Miles in I can celebrate by having a beer.
8) If Soriano strikes out swinging at something low and away I can console myself by having a beer.
7) If Soriano miraculously gets a hit I can celebrate by having a beer.
6) If Gregg comes in and blows it I can console myself by having a beer.
5) If Gregg comes in and manages to keep things under control I can celebrate by having a beer.
4) If Marmol comes in and blows it I can console myself by having a beer.
3) If Marmol comes in and manages to keep things under control I can celebrate by having a beer.
2) If the Cubs lose I can console myself by having a beer.
1) If the Cubs win I can celebrate by having a beer!!!

Yeah more beer. As I see it, watching tonight will be fun regardless. Feel free to substitute your beverage of choice. If truth be told, I generally prefer ale because ale’s what cures you. At least it works for me. Have a fun night everyone. If you do take my advice, drive safely.

"Fasten your seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Aug 21, 2009 11:35 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs

Or catch a cab...

by Rhinos on Aug 21, 2009 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

yeah

or just stay in the comfort of your own home

"Fasten your seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Aug 21, 2009 12:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Cubs Drinking Game 2009 Edition!

by ak123 on Aug 21, 2009 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Damn, why are all the good ones married!

I'm singing, "GO CUBS GO! GO CUBS GO!" -- DrCrawdad on Jun 12, 2009 7:23 AM CDT

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! -- Homer J. Simpson

by Shanghai Badger on Aug 21, 2009 12:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

LMAO!!!

thanks for the laugh!

when asked about his performance against the Reds - Lieber said the following
"Well obviously I made some bad pitches today, left to many over the plate and they got good wood on the ball. The only good thing was that I was able to get back into the clubhouse earlier then I planned so I could eat."

by 1060 W Addison on Aug 21, 2009 1:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I took Tuesday off.

When you have a front-row seat to the end (Others argue the Colorado series killed the Cubs, some say it was the Phillies – when a AAA team and a guy with 70 MLB at-bats demolishes you – that’s the REAL end) as I did Monday night. Tuesday (or more correctly, on the walk back to my car Monday night) was the time that I realized that this year is over. The HR sailed about 50 feet to my left. A mini 1984- Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome for me there. I thought Garvey was circling the bases. Watching games in SD is really unhealthy for me.

So, back to watching with a completely different attitude. Post-season is out of the question, so it’s now a question if Marmol can close, can Soriano ever hit again — and Z’s return.

Time to see how 2010 stacks up, under – hopefully – new ownership.

by San Diego Smooth Jazz Man on Aug 21, 2009 12:06 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Great! #10 should have been #1, IMO.

by Fraggin Judge on Aug 21, 2009 12:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Great! #10 should have been #1, IMO.

by Fraggin Judge on Aug 21, 2009 12:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

my top 10 reasons for not watching

10. I’d rather be outside. Got the idea from all the sliders Soriano swung at last night.

9. Pretty sure I’ll be able to hear when the Cubs’ pen gives up a homer — just by listening for the crack of the bat.

8. I’ve seen enough groundballs to second by Aaron Miles to last a lifetime.

7. I’ll e-mail Len and Bob about my evening. They need to live vicariously through somebody, right?

6. The only reason I can think of to LISTEN to the game on the radio is to wait for Santo to finally crack and actually swear on the air. And that’s not much of a reason.

5. I don’t really enjoy watching games when I know our left fielder is dumber than the other team’s left fielder — especially when the guy playing for the other team is Manny freaking Ramirez.

4. I don’t have a flat-screen TV and can’t really see all of Geo when I watch anyway.

3. I’d rather take a walk. I got the idea from all the hitters who’ve faced Marmol this year.

2. Watching Randy Wells (Randy “I wasn’t on the roster when the season began” Wells) take the team lead in wins would take something away from a victory.

1. I’d rather be f***ed by my girlfriend than f***ed by the Cubs.

by elgato on Aug 21, 2009 12:21 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I got a suggstion for what to do tonight...

WARNING… SELF PROMOTION AHEAD:

Come see my comedy show! Support a fellow Cubs fan. Friday at 8pm! (also the following 3 weeks). If you come I’ll promise to do something about Soriano, Soto and Miles.

Any love out there? huh?

Hot Beans Delivers Show Info

Show Poster (jpg)

END OF SELF PROMOTION

I haz comedy show on Fridays. Come out and support a fellow Cubs fan? If you do, I'll see what I can do about Aaron Miles: Hot Beans Delivers

by digitalbenjamin on Aug 21, 2009 2:01 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Say something about BLou too (woo woo)

Numbers may not lie, but they don’t tell the whole truth (and nothing but the truth), either. -- Doug Glanville

by leothelip on Aug 21, 2009 4:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You do know it's a comedy routine?

by ak123 on Aug 21, 2009 5:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You can make the argument that

Getting drunk and then watching the game makes the Cubs look better, like an ugly girl at the bar

"Okay, just so I understand it...in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil."- Jim Halpert

by ryanbrixenivy on Aug 21, 2009 2:59 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

But if they lose

is that like being rejected by the ugly girl at the bar? How bad would that depression be?

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Aug 21, 2009 3:57 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, but

it increases the chance of me vomiting

by wennington4 on Aug 23, 2009 7:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You write for Letterman?

Outstanding!

Just win the next game...!

by blackhawk24 on Aug 21, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I do write a little for TV

But it’s more “sports entertainment” television.

Thanks though!

by ak123 on Aug 21, 2009 5:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I won't be watching...

…because I’ll be watching the A’s play. I need my Not-On-The-Team-Anymore Giambi bobblehead.

I suppose I can tune in on my i-phone, but that would probably just irritate me. The scoreboard will tell me everything I need to now — eventually.

Rickey has spoken. Keep the Athletics in Bump City.

by LeSaboteur on Aug 21, 2009 6:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

ACCURATE and CORRECT........

FRom 10 back to 1 . It hurts to watch this team fumble on the field. Good Night ..

by cubs north on Aug 21, 2009 11:32 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I didn't watch tonight :)

by ak123 on Aug 22, 2009 12:02 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hey - I resemble that remark!

I strenuously object to No. 2

thanks,

Gregg

Scene: Bleachers, early 1980s
Me: 'Who is that guy down there in shorts, no shirt who thinks he knows everything about baseball?'
True Bleacher Bum: 'You dumbass, that's Bill Veeck!'

by Greggle on Aug 22, 2009 12:21 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hahahahah

My cousin is named Gregg and so is one of my friends from college.

But it made for a good joke still :)

by ak123 on Aug 22, 2009 3:04 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh and by the way ...

It’s three G’s.

(Picture people asking ‘Greg(g) with two g’s?’
Nope, it’s three G’s.

Scene: Bleachers, early 1980s
Me: 'Who is that guy down there in shorts, no shirt who thinks he knows everything about baseball?'
True Bleacher Bum: 'You dumbass, that's Bill Veeck!'

by Greggle on Aug 22, 2009 12:23 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Booooo

I got booted off the top for an Aaron Miles sucks and I have proof fanpost.

Actually, it was an enjoyable read, I just am disappointed since I’ll never get 8+ rec. again on BCB :)

by ak123 on Aug 22, 2009 3:27 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

So did you watch the game or not?

"You can observe a lot just by watching." ~ Yogi Berra

by Al on Aug 22, 2009 8:48 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

What game?

by ak123 on Aug 22, 2009 9:32 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Good answer.

"You can observe a lot just by watching." ~ Yogi Berra

by Al on Aug 22, 2009 9:36 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes but you missed THIS

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=6225963&c_id=chc&topic_id=

I am posting this is as many threads as I can find an excuse for. Watching Fuld is about my only reason to watch and of course
I didn’t anyway.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 12:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I liked this one better.

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=6108747

"Fasten your seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Aug 22, 2009 12:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Gregg's last Cub save ?

Thanks to Fuld. He does not have the degree from Stanford for nothing. When asked if he knew there was brick in back of the ivy he said.
""I am aware (it’s brick)," he said of the wall behind the ivy. “I think maybe I forget when I get caught up in a huge moment. I try not to worry too much about getting hurt. There is a decent amount of ivy there to brace yourself. Maybe we can work on getting a little padding there.”

So how does the ivy taste?

“Pretty tasteless,” he said. “But it felt pretty good to keep that ball in the glove.”

Sori could learn from this.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs