We Should Clone Derrek Lee

by JMG1984 on Sep 2, 2009 5:34 PM CDT

For everyone out there who may already be considering what moves the Cubs should make in the offseason here's some food for thought. Of the cubs eight regular starters, (and for fun we'll include Three Finger Hill in this discussion) only one has a higher season BA then D-Lee. Obviously, everyone knows that could only be Rami.
Lee also lead the team in homeruns (duh) RBI (89, that's 40 more than second place Theriot), and is tied with Fukudome at 30 doubles. Oh yah, and third in OBP. So the guy who has hit more homeruns than anyone else on the team must be having a career year right? WRONG! Derrek currently has 27 homeruns far shy of his career high of 46 in '05. However he has consistently produced and is on track to beat his homerun and RBI numbers of the last two years.

So here's my plan.....CLONE DERREK LEE! If the Cubs had 7 more D-Lee's suiting up everday then as a team we would currently have 322 homeruns and 623 RBI. The Cardinals this year have hit 134. That's 134 homeruns for every single player that has worn a Cardinals uniform this season including DeRosa and Holliday. While eight Derrek Lees whooped all the Cards in homeruns, they made up the difference in singles and triples, I'm not even going to list the stats because they're RIDICULOUS. Now all those base and extra base hit add up to alot of RBI, so even with eight #25's runnin' around they still would whoop our collective asses in that department. But, wouldn't you feel better knowing that Derrek Lee would be at bat while Derrek Lee was on deck, while Derrek Lee was in the hole!?!?!?!?

I know I would. So forget about what to do with Bradley, forgot about Zambrano doing his Chuck Norris ab-machine workouts, forget the debate on whether Piniella has gone loony, forget about whether or not Soriano will bounce back next year, and for Christ's sake forget plotting the murder of Aaron Miles! (I know he sucks but do you really want to kill him!?!?). Forget all that stuff and somebody tell Tom Ricketts his first move as owner should be to buy whatever machine or team of scientist he needs to CLONE DERREK LEE!!!!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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But...

Then they’d lose in the playoffs because they wouldn’t see any left handed pitching.

by WittyUserName on Sep 2, 2009 6:32 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

LOL

Randy Wells - You continue to astound me.

by DGU on Sep 2, 2009 7:12 PM CDT up reply actions

Hilarious!

by northpaw22k on Sep 4, 2009 1:27 PM CDT up reply actions

that would be some tall middle infielders

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Sep 2, 2009 6:43 PM CDT reply actions

Okay, in what season will the clones be old enough to play?

We’ve had enough with the waiting, if you hadn’t noticed.

"Was you ever punched in the face five hundred times a night? It stings after a while." ~Rocky Balboa

by Goodie1969 on Sep 2, 2009 6:58 PM CDT reply actions

Knowing the Cubs' luck

the D-Lee clones would all go play basketball for North Carolina and skip baseball (the opposite of the real D-Lee)

by ChicagoRobb on Sep 2, 2009 7:21 PM CDT reply actions

So what you're really saying is...

“Send in the clones”, right?

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Sep 2, 2009 7:30 PM CDT reply actions

EXECUTE ORDER 66!!!

"That pitch wasn’t down and in, that pitch was down and up." Tim McCarver

by wrigleyrocker12 on Sep 2, 2009 7:39 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Given where the conversation on DLee began this year

this fanpost makes me smile.

Who’d have thought, pre-season, that Lou would be comfortable with Fukudome as his #5 hitter?

Who’d have thought that people would be pining for more Jake Fox?

Who’d have thought that Randy Wells would have the best starter’s ERA?

Who’d have thought that people would argue Micah Hoffpauir’s glove would be ok for the OF, but no one would argue his bat was ok for the MLs?

Randy Wells - You continue to astound me.

by DGU on Sep 2, 2009 7:41 PM CDT reply actions

true

if we did clone and have 8 DLees, would all of them accept a trade to San Fran like the millions of trades mentioned here

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Sep 2, 2009 7:53 PM CDT up reply actions

"I’m not going to allow Al Yellon to flush this thing down the crapper without a fight." (BLOU)
Forget all that other stuff. I gotta believe.

by drewishdrewid on Sep 2, 2009 8:08 PM CDT reply actions

Those are Derrek Freaking Lees

YOU WILL RESPECT THEM!

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 2, 2009 8:23 PM CDT reply actions

We'd be all excited about it....

…and then STL would show up with their army of Pujolses.

MLBMilestone.com - following the numbers to Cooperstown

by D98 on Sep 2, 2009 8:52 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs

no no

thats the rapture

Theriot is not clutch, he's double clutch!

by jesus christos on Sep 2, 2009 9:33 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

wha ?

According to well placed and Informed Fans in the pat, DLee was a has been, washed up, spent peel of a bush leaguer ..

Haven’t you been listening?

Worf, I’m sick of your IGNORANCE!

All of you!

FEH

Blue mountains high .. Blue valleys low
I don't know which way we will go ..
One summer dream .. one summer dream ..

coda

ELO, 1975

by cubnational on Sep 2, 2009 11:05 PM CDT reply actions

What we really need...

is an army of Ryan Theriots. Maybe splice in a few with D Lee’s power and Reed’s sheer Reed Johnson-ness, and we’d be set. Forever.

by Cosmis on Sep 2, 2009 11:30 PM CDT reply actions

I want an army of Aaron MIles

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Sep 2, 2009 11:54 PM CDT up reply actions

That exists

See: Pittsburg Pirates

by Mike Martin on Sep 3, 2009 5:52 AM CDT up reply actions

so you would make trades for Aaron Miles

the Pirates version? I could see them being more Nationals like, since no one wants them

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Sep 3, 2009 8:17 AM CDT up reply actions

Reminds me of a cute song by Weird Al.

It’s a parody of “I think I’m alone now” called “I think I’m a clone now.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d-aWMQuoS4

"Fasten your seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Sep 3, 2009 8:33 AM CDT reply actions

Him and Ted Lilly

Clone Lee to make 8 position players and Ted Lilly for 5 starters. Who do we clone for the pen?

Of course we know cloning is illegal but this is Ted Lilly we’re talking about.

I had to delete my twitter account. But you can still find me at fanfiction.net under puckish prosecutor.

by puckishcubsfan on Sep 3, 2009 9:29 AM CDT reply actions

no

clone 8 lees for the positions players and splice lilly and wells’ DNA for the starters

and clone mariano rivera for the pen

Theriot is not clutch, he's double clutch!

by jesus christos on Sep 3, 2009 4:18 PM CDT up reply actions

I know a certain Mr. Steinbrenner who might not let us have Mariano's DNA...

… and, anyway, we want this to be exciting. A bullpen full of Marmols would keep asses in the seats! This team still needs a LOOGY, lefty batters, and guys to play up the middle (could a cloned Kosuke play shortstop?)

by aldimond on Sep 3, 2009 6:36 PM CDT up reply actions

Ted Lilly is unclone-able,

which is fine because he’s fully capable of starting and finishing every game of the season, and running decathlons after each game. So, 7-8 DLee’s (depending on if we’re going to keep the real DLee) and 1 Ted Lilly, you’re set to go 173-0, and reset to 00 00 00! LOL hilarious post, loved it! rec’d

by Fonzie2178 on Sep 4, 2009 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions