OT -- Another new Cubs fan very soon

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 5:47 PM CDT Comment 45 comments

Many of you know that Mrs. Worf the evil Cardinals fan is pregnant. We are entering our 38th week and she is 3 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced (meaning the barrier to the opening he will pass through is getting wider and weaker)

So, it could be any day now. I was gone most of the day dealing with last-minute baby stuff and we could be leaving tonight (or in two weeks... it's up to the little brat)

His name is not, as I've said earlier, Andre Dawson Worfington, but his name -- I looked this up this afternoon -- will be a combination of last names of players who have killed the Cubs. See if you can guess.

His first name is the last name of player who played 200 games against the Cubs, with the last one being in 1987. He hit .329/.388/.517 against us.

In his last game against the Cubs, he hit an RBI sac fly and his team won 4-3.

His middle name is the last name of a player who pitched 17 games against the Cubs and went 10-4 with a 3.71 ERA and a .210 BAA.

In his last game against the Cubs, in 1980, he pitched 5 innings and his team won 7-1.

To all that have wished us well, thank you.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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and you forgot

to mention another Packers fan.

:-D

Best of luck and health to mama and baby. You’ll be fine. Early congrats from a dad of 3 to another dad to be.

by socalbob on Sep 21, 2009 6:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Well wishes from another

dad of 3!

by Fonzie2178 on Sep 21, 2009 6:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks, bob

I’m STILL right about Cutler — although he had a great game. Jeff George did too!

I’ll trash-talk with you when I can. I may have to do it from work. The wife will curtail some of my mindless ranting after work because of little Worf.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 7:06 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm glad to run some smack

whenever you are up to it.

Nice game by the Pack yesterday. With that loss and the blowup of MB, you must have been in rare form. Surprised the wife didn’t go into labor.

Cutler is the new Montana. Just thought I’d throw that out there for ya!

Hopefully that gave you a grin!

by socalbob on Sep 21, 2009 7:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh man...

All I can say is that Aaron Rodgers will not finish the season if that’s all the protection he can get.

Hopefully, this is just one of those games that happen in the NFL.

If Cutler is the new Montana, I will fellate a rat.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 7:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

fellate a rat

leave your college pranks out of this discussion.

And I will hold you to that!

by socalbob on Sep 21, 2009 9:13 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Only Worf...

…would include the phrase “fellate a rat” in a discussion regarding his soon-to-be-born child.

In all seriousness, congratulations to you and your wife. Best wishes on a swift and hassle-free delivery.

Catch my act on Twitter as @dat_cubfan_dave.

by dat cubfan daver on Sep 22, 2009 8:49 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Albert Walker Barrett!

COOL BEANS!

by lexmarklover on Sep 21, 2009 6:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Perez Greg Worf?

Neifi Perez Greg Maddux Wolf?

I SPITE YOUR WIFE

BUUUUUUUUT

I DO LOVE CAKE

"The riches of the game are in the thrills, not the money." --Ernie Banks

by dtpollitt on Sep 21, 2009 6:21 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

More clues!

Neither player is in the Hall of Fame, although there is a strong case for the hitter.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 7:07 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I congratulate you and wish you well, brother.

But I would have to say that

she is 3 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced (meaning the barrier to the opening he will pass through is getting wider and weaker)

is pretty much the last thing I expected to read on here tonight and is likely to put me off my dinner. Thanks for that.

"Was you ever punched in the face five hundred times a night? It stings after a while." ~Rocky Balboa

by Goodie1969 on Sep 21, 2009 7:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Dude...

I have watched doctors do things to my wife that should involve a $150 dinner and a dozen roses.

We have no modesty or shame left.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 7:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

If Mrs. Worf has a C-Section

Don’t look. Really. I’m not kidding. I didn’t mean to, but when they told me to go over to the table with the baby, I had to cross the operating room and there was my wife’s guts all over the table.

And don’t think you’re not going to have one. I mean, you probably aren’t, but I was in the exact same position you’re in now 20 months ago. My Wife was dilated and 70% effaced and then the baby didn’t come. After 11 days late, we found out she was breech. C-Section time.

I wish someone had told me to prepare for a C-Section. Well, someone did, but we didn’t listen.

But little Maddie was delivered healthy and happy and she’s doing great.

by Josh77 on Sep 22, 2009 5:40 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Really?

I saw both and would much rather watch the C-section opposed to natural. I was ok to the doctor reached for the scapal(however you spell) and sliced downward!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Sep 22, 2009 9:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

My wife is having a great time

telling her girlfriends that she thinks I’m going to pass out.

The only thing I’m really not too up for is her pooping on the table. Apparently, the pushing thing manages to get it all out…

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 23, 2009 6:22 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Warning

They will tell you to be right beside her, comforting her. Don’t do it. Stay out of arm and especially hands reach! You will be sorry if you don’t!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Sep 23, 2009 10:24 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

idk if I'd listen to that-you may be sorrier in the long run if you don't comfort her

Best wishes to the whole family!

"Fasten those seatbelts"-Pat Hughes

by katie casey on Sep 23, 2009 3:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Or you may not have any family jewels

for the long run lol! I do get your point though!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Sep 23, 2009 5:50 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh, you'd better

get used to poop. OK, baby poop is not nearly as bad as adult poop, but it does have a tendency to come at much more inconvenient times.

I’ll never forget the time my daughter sprayed her poop all over three nurses.

by Josh77 on Sep 24, 2009 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

One version involves

lots of blood. I guess some people find that interesting, but I don’t.

by Josh77 on Sep 24, 2009 12:26 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Named for Madison, WI?

I'm singing, "GO CUBS GO! GO CUBS GO!" -- DrCrawdad on Jun 12, 2009 7:23 AM CDT

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! -- Homer J. Simpson

by Shanghai Badger on Sep 22, 2009 9:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

No

It’s short for Madeline.

To me, Madison was the town I grew up in. It’s not a girl.

by Josh77 on Sep 24, 2009 12:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are you sure about the first Cub Killer Worf

Tony Gwynn is the only guy I can find that had a sacrifice RBI in a 1987 4-3 Cubs loss. Alas I don’t know how to find
career BA Vs team. The only thing about Gwynn though is that was not his last game against the Cubs, he played in one
the next day.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Sep 21, 2009 8:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

It was the player's last game against the Cubs

the player got four more seasons in the AL…

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 8:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Actually that wasn't my problem

I just failed to look at more games. 4-3 scores.Hmm Parker as first name, like Parker Stevenson ? Yes he killed the Cubs
but I heard he was much disliked in Pittsburgh.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Sep 21, 2009 8:36 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Parker Richard Worf ?

What do I win ?

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Sep 21, 2009 8:43 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Ding ding ding!

His name will be Parker Richard

Dave Parker is the hitter and J.R. Richard is the pitcher.

I think Jessica was the only one who researched it. :)

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 21, 2009 9:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ya cause everyone else was wasting time watching the game.

"I am not ashamed to say I love Greg Maddux" - Jim Hendry
Me either Jim

by Doggie Stalker on Sep 21, 2009 9:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Congrats, Worf

and good luck. Although some people would consider turning your kid into a Cubs fan tantamount to child abuse. :)

by Not Bruce Froemming on Sep 22, 2009 12:20 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Mrs. Worf the Evil Cards Fan

Will have her say as well.

The kid will probably hate us both and root for the Astros.

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 22, 2009 6:26 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

he actually has no choice

it is a genetic disorder passed from generation to generation.

by socalbob on Sep 22, 2009 8:49 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fingers crossed that all goes well !!!!!

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. - Albert Einstein

by eths on Sep 22, 2009 2:04 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Congratulations, Worf.

I do have to agree with NBF, though….

I'm singing, "GO CUBS GO! GO CUBS GO!" -- DrCrawdad on Jun 12, 2009 7:23 AM CDT

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! -- Homer J. Simpson

by Shanghai Badger on Sep 22, 2009 6:37 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Congratulations!

You’re naming the kid Richie Hebner Worfington?

"You can observe a lot just by watching." ~ Yogi Berra

by Al on Sep 22, 2009 7:16 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Ooohhh... Maybe I'll see if the wife wants to change

I pushed hard for Dawson. I finally had to admit that it was a Cub and not the guy from Dawson’s Creek.

So, she went from thinking I was gay to realizing it was a Cub thing

There is no such thing as an ugly female breast

by Worf on Sep 22, 2009 7:34 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sosa Bonds Worfington

Congrats Worf!!!!!!!!!

baseball is a game of outs......pop out, ground out, line out, pitch out, strike out, fly out, and Fox and Bud's favorite black out

by Cubbie-Tim on Sep 22, 2009 8:35 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Bradley Gregg Worf?

I like it! :)

by hmlee on Sep 22, 2009 11:21 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Or maybe...

… Miles Heilman Worfington

"You can observe a lot just by watching." ~ Yogi Berra

by Al on Sep 22, 2009 2:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

So you're saying Worf Jr. is going to be a Brewers fan?

“it’s up to the little brat”

I just hope for your sake, Randall Simon is not the godfather…

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Sep 22, 2009 1:04 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Little Worf not gonna be named after his uncle?

Blue Lou Worfington? Just kidding man Congrats man the greatest moments in a man’s life is taking that crying baby from a nurse and realizing that you created life and you are now a daddy! Don’t take it for granted and enjoy every moment of it!

I would sleep with Blou if it meant the Cubs would win a WS. by Doggie Stalker on Aug 22, 2009 4:11 PM EDT

by cubsluver22 on Sep 22, 2009 4:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs