FUN THINGS TO DO IN THE DUGOUT

by dtpollitt n SWL on Oct 18, 2011 10:46 PM CDT

There hasn't been a Theo update in 7 hours.

More things below the thing.

There are lots of fun things to do in the dugout. Especially when you're watching a baseball game. Double especially when you're being paid millions of dollars by one of the most visible teams in professional sports, amidst an epic late-season collapse. For instance, you could:

Order chicken from Popeyes
Play Pokeman cards with Tony Campana
Drink beer (but only Boston Lagah)
Lose
Not play video games (sidebar: one of our most favorite parental guidance clips ever)
Take pills
Teach Koyie Hill how to do this
Fart
Play with iPhone 4S & Siri
Chew some tobacco
Laugh at the dumbass Ryan Theriot
Discuss how awesome it would be to have a manager
Play "I Spy" with Riggins
Write letters home

Please add your favorite fun things to do in the dugout below!

dtpollitt n SWL

Sam Fuld

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 19, 2011 1:25 AM CDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs

During a rain delay at our local minor league park

while the teams waited in their respective dugouts. We noticed from up in the pressbox that a baseball was being tossed from one dugout to the other through the raindrops.

The receiving team’s player would look at the ball, then write something on it, and toss it back across the wet field into the other dugout.

The next player with the ball looked at it, wrote something on it and repeated the process.

This went on for several minutes. We couldn’t figure out what they were asking/telling each other. Then after the game ended we learned:

they were playing tic-tac-toe on the baseball.

Kids will be kids.

There are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. Who says baseball isn't a religion? (Now #8452 in the Cubs Season Ticket Wait List...)

by Zeke on Oct 19, 2011 6:01 AM CDT reply actions 9 recs

I remember doing that once

Except we were trading phone numbers for slumpbusters rather than playing tic tac toe.

"We push bunt, we squeeze bunt, we hit and run, we steal home!" - Larry Cox (I think...) on the 1989 NL East Champion Chicago Cubs

by PacificCub on Oct 20, 2011 2:53 PM CDT up reply actions

A couple more

Breath holding contests
Teach Quade to hold a treat on his nose until you say “now”, then he can eat it
See if you can fit Tony Campana into the Hello Kitty backpack
Have everyone in the dugout hop at the exact moment Soriano does on a fly ball catch
Re-enact scenes from “The Wire”, such as when D’Angelo teaches them chess.
See how long you can spit sunflower seeds at Riggins before he says something.
Play “I never”

No Cubbiegoon, I am Deep Goat

by tomas21 on Oct 19, 2011 7:28 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

You guys are pretty creative, not to mention skillful.

I don’t like to fish, so all I’ve ever done in a dugout was row. Afraid I’d tip over if I tried any of your ideas.

Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween Night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.

by katie casey on Oct 19, 2011 8:53 AM CDT reply actions

Canoe stop with the puns please?

by JOVE23 on Oct 19, 2011 11:41 AM CDT up reply actions

Is that a stern warning oar what?

Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween Night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.

by katie casey on Oct 19, 2011 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions

I laughed

I laughed like hull.

"Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have?" -Frank Chance
"If [Ruth] had [called his shot], I would have knocked him down with the next pitch." -Charlie Root

by Clutch16 on Oct 19, 2011 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions

After all

you should quit while you are ahead.

by Emelie on Oct 19, 2011 1:13 PM CDT up reply actions

I'm going to ship you all outta here if you keep up this pun meme

I'm going to the 2012 Randy Hundley Fantasy Camp!!! Who's with me?

by VegasCubFan on Oct 20, 2011 12:35 AM CDT up reply actions

Just let them off with a stern warning.

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by Al Yellon on Oct 20, 2011 6:52 AM CDT up reply actions

not enough

they deserve a paddling

by TC Cubby on Oct 20, 2011 7:48 AM CDT up reply actions

Look, we are all in the same boat!

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 20, 2011 7:51 AM CDT up reply actions

I think it's time for me to bow out...

Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
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by Steven Schweickert on Oct 20, 2011 9:29 AM CDT up reply actions

I'm just hoping that the Cubs don't go windlass next season

"We push bunt, we squeeze bunt, we hit and run, we steal home!" - Larry Cox (I think...) on the 1989 NL East Champion Chicago Cubs

by PacificCub on Oct 20, 2011 2:54 PM CDT up reply actions

Buoys will be buoys, just like the Cubs will be the Cubs...

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 20, 2011 3:36 PM CDT up reply actions

stop it, stop it - you're keeling me...

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Oct 20, 2011 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions

At least we will have a Hoyer in place.

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by Al Yellon on Oct 20, 2011 3:53 PM CDT up reply actions

And if anything is for sail...

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 20, 2011 4:08 PM CDT up reply actions

Coming up with these awful puns

has been a piece of kayak.

Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween Night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.

by katie casey on Oct 21, 2011 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions

Canoe do any more?

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by Al Yellon on Oct 21, 2011 9:28 PM CDT up reply actions

IDK, but I'll probably run out of ideas

schooner or later.

Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween Night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.

by katie casey on Oct 22, 2011 7:16 AM CDT up reply actions

Mast you continue to do this?

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by Al Yellon on Oct 22, 2011 7:35 AM CDT up reply actions

I went overboard.

Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween Night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.

by katie casey on Oct 22, 2011 9:02 AM CDT up reply actions

Off course you did.

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by Al Yellon on Oct 22, 2011 9:33 AM CDT up reply actions

She should take a different tack?

by patches23 on Oct 22, 2011 8:11 PM CDT up reply actions

This is just rudderly ridiculous

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Oct 22, 2011 10:16 PM CDT up reply actions

But this a bail of fun

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 23, 2011 4:17 AM CDT up reply actions

My compass deviated ... This is a bale of fun...

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 23, 2011 4:20 AM CDT up reply actions

Now I really blue it

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 23, 2011 4:30 AM CDT up reply actions

Place matches in dudes' shoes.

Light them.

Baseball is pitching, offensive production, baserunning and defense.

by daver on Oct 19, 2011 10:00 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

Can Siri answer questions like

Should I walk Pujols?
Should I have him throw a fastball to Theriot?

by patches23 on Oct 19, 2011 12:10 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

GETITDUNNTHEO!!!1!

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Oct 19, 2011 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions

Give me a few hours...

"The riches of the game are in the thrills, not the money." --Ernie Banks

by dtpollitt on Oct 20, 2011 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions

Use the bullpen phone to order a pizza

Then have the pizza delivered to the mound during the next pitching change (unless it’s a pitching change in which Zambrano is being removed from the game – that could get messy).

The Frustrated Fan

by Jody Jody Davis on Oct 19, 2011 2:24 PM CDT reply actions

punch your catcher in the face, yell at your 1b, beat the gatorade machine to a pulp, claim you're going to retire

THEOOOOOOOOO

by jesus christos on Oct 19, 2011 4:21 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

You forgot...

… go ballistic at an umpire and hurl a ball 300 feet from the plate almost into the LF bleachers.

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by Al Yellon on Oct 19, 2011 5:22 PM CDT up reply actions

z has the common courtesy of doing that outside the dugout

THEOOOOOOOOO

by jesus christos on Oct 19, 2011 7:07 PM CDT up reply actions

Nobody is going to say it? Fine I will.

TAKE A DUMP

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Oct 19, 2011 6:42 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs

Good times.

by Emelie on Oct 19, 2011 7:23 PM CDT up reply actions

Don't forget to use the Moises Alou Memorial Handwash Fountain afterward

"Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have?" -Frank Chance
"If [Ruth] had [called his shot], I would have knocked him down with the next pitch." -Charlie Root

by Clutch16 on Oct 19, 2011 8:37 PM CDT up reply actions