I’m just curious if any Cubs fans are experiencing a similar sensation. As the playoff picture began to take shape at the end of the season and the Cardinals clawed their way into the postseason, it dawned on me that a Cards/Brewers NLCS was a possibility. While I didn’t necessarily think the Cards would get past the Phillies, I began to think about who I would cheer for. At first I thought I would likely watch dispassionately, simply enjoying the beauty of baseball being played between two skilled, albeit hated teams, much like I did during the 2005 World Series between the White Sox and Astros. Then as I began to watch today’s game a curious thing happened; I find myself actually rooting for the Cardinals. But not just rooting; audibly cheering…this has created understandably disquieting feelings within. As I realized I was standing up and shouting when David Freese hit his home run, I began to question what my life had become. I realize the Cardinals represent the Cubs greatest rivals, and geographic considerations don’t really enter into the equation for me as I live nowhere near the Midwest.

But I can’t stand the Brewers. I think I actually hate them. I dislike the Cardinals because they are the Cardinals and that’s what I’m supposed to do, but I respect many of their players. I genuinely hate Milwaukee and their preening, showboating, Tonyplushing, arrogance. Here’s hoping this St. Louis support is a passing occurrence, and once the World Series begins I’ll be able to root loudly for either the Tigers or Rangers. But the greater issue is whether I’ll regain my self-respect after cheering for the Cardinals. Is anyone else experiencing this phenomenon, actively rooting for the Cardinals (or I suppose the Brewers) and sinking further into the miasma of self-loathing that typically accompanies a Cubs’ offseason?

Oh, I’m also troubled by what will become of me if I’m forced to cheer for Prince Fielder next year. But I realize that’s putting the cart before the free agency horse. (For everyone other than Fielder himself, apparently.)