Koyie Hill, the new everyday 1st baseman.

by santoswoodenlegs on Apr 28, 2011 10:04 PM CDT

I know what you're all thinking..."HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS." Well guess what? I'm dead serious. My Hill Hate is well documented. I was against him getting a new contract with a raise. I was against him making the team out of ST. I've pretty much been 100% anti-Koyie Hill. I'm here to say that I was WRONG.

After seeing what kind of offensive batter Carlos Pena has been over the course of the last 20 something games, I've been less than impressed. The guy isn't just "in a slump", he's in a black hole of suck at the plate. The guy isn't even getting contact on pitches that look hittable. We're told ad-nauseum that he'll eventually start hitting. This is known as "method acting". We're told over and over how all kinds of thing are "going to happen eventually" about this organization. I had already chalked up 2011 as a tread water season for this club, and I have yet to see anything to change that perception. In fact, so far in this young baseball season, everything that was supposed to be our strength (pitching) has been our weakness. So in my opinion, it's time to give Pena a nice long sting on the DL to get whatever injury (mental or physical) is affecting him with the bat taken care of. What is it really going to hurt? In that interim period, I call for Mr. Koyie Hill to get the bulk of the starts at first base.

Hill's presence on the team has been rationalized because of his experience with the pitching staff, they like him, he's like a coach on the bench....playing him at first base gives the team a second "coach" on the field. Our new pitching coach...whatever his name is, hasn't seemed to be able to do much to keep this staff pitching effectively. Hill is just a few yards away from the mound at any time during the game. He's a switch hitter, bat him anywhere...hell...he can't do worse than Pena was doing. Of course when Pena comes back Hill can take his old spot on the bench back, but for the forseeable future...I want him playing first.

Commence to tear my idea apart now.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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Koyie Hill got a Homerun!!!

"Well-behaved women seldom make History"---Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

by cooliogirl47 on Apr 28, 2011 10:10 PM CDT reply actions

I think our new pitching coach

is made of pressboard.

"We are not equations with hats." -Dean Young

by Kegler on Apr 28, 2011 10:10 PM CDT reply actions

hill for the AS team!

With Derrick Rose on the other team, no. It’s like a crazy stalker ex-girlfriend. Everytime you tell her you don’t want to talk to her, she’ll show up at your door again. ~Danny Granger

by jesus christos on Apr 28, 2011 10:10 PM CDT reply actions

If Steve Swisher could be the lone Cub representative..

by The Deputy Mayor of Rush Street on Apr 28, 2011 11:10 PM CDT up reply actions

Koyie Hill for GM

"OFFENCE IS TO WEAK" -- cooltrev

by mrtobby on Apr 28, 2011 10:11 PM CDT reply actions

I'll only agree with you so long as...

…you salute a picture of Ryan Theriot.

RIP Ronnie James Dio (July 10, 1942 - May 16, 2010) and Ron Santo (February 25, 1940-December 2, 2010).
If you disagree with me in any way, you are wrong.

by Ace Venom on Apr 28, 2011 10:11 PM CDT reply actions

He's a Cardinal now...you really want me to do that?

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Apr 28, 2011 10:12 PM CDT up reply actions

I think it would be funny

RIP Ronnie James Dio (July 10, 1942 - May 16, 2010) and Ron Santo (February 25, 1940-December 2, 2010).
If you disagree with me in any way, you are wrong.

by Ace Venom on Apr 28, 2011 10:13 PM CDT up reply actions

I need another Dos Equis.

I don't always block shots, but when I do....I block yours.

Kyle Korver is open as soon as he gets out of his car at the UC. -

Stacey King

by sue369 on Apr 28, 2011 10:12 PM CDT reply actions

Stay thirsty my friend....

by LT on Apr 28, 2011 10:16 PM CDT up reply actions

I can't believe it...

I was calling 2 run doubles and a Pena K…you call a Hill HR and get it.

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon
"My favorite food is Macaroni and Cheese, from the blue box." Geovany Soto

by Cubbiegoon on Apr 28, 2011 10:12 PM CDT reply actions

Hill has homered and walked now...

our 3 hole hitter is revealing himself.

by Kansas25 on Apr 28, 2011 10:13 PM CDT reply actions

...we celebrate you Koyle

"OFFENCE IS TO WEAK" -- cooltrev

by mrtobby on Apr 28, 2011 10:14 PM CDT reply actions

I don't even know you anymore.

"The riches of the game are in the thrills, not the money." --Ernie Banks

by dtpollitt on Apr 28, 2011 10:19 PM CDT reply actions

Tell me I'm wrong....

and pull my hair.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Apr 28, 2011 10:20 PM CDT up reply actions

I have a moral compass.

And a high IQ.

You just have imgur.

"The riches of the game are in the thrills, not the money." --Ernie Banks

by dtpollitt on Apr 28, 2011 10:24 PM CDT up reply actions

I also have ginger snaps and a fender telecaster....

I’m a simple man.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Apr 28, 2011 10:34 PM CDT up reply actions

Some guys have to pay a great deal of money to get that kind of treatment.

by BrewCrew'sPrinceofDarkness on Apr 28, 2011 11:22 PM CDT up reply actions

"Black hole of suck"

that’s pure poetry

by troutfishin on Apr 28, 2011 10:42 PM CDT reply actions

Exactly my thought...

The Cubs are an eternal black hole of suck.

It's 106 miles to Chicago...

by BDR529 on Apr 29, 2011 3:20 PM CDT up reply actions

"Hannie of the Year"...for the use of "black hole of suck"...classic.

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. ~Bob Lemon, 1981

by Easy Ed on Apr 29, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions

I see that swl sarcasm tag is working just fine...

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Apr 28, 2011 10:48 PM CDT reply actions

At this point, my disgust for this team overrides my hatred for Hill

play him anywhere

By all that's holy, I am going to attend the 2012 Randy Hundley Fantasy Camp.

by VegasCubFan on Apr 28, 2011 11:10 PM CDT reply actions

Hatred?

Jeez. Lighten up a bit.

by JSB on Apr 28, 2011 11:43 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions

Give me my Hill.

You want scrap, you want heart? I give you Koyie Hill, medical miracle and well below average MLB catcher.

by the nth on Apr 29, 2011 12:56 AM CDT up reply actions

Um..No

By all that's holy, I am going to attend the 2012 Randy Hundley Fantasy Camp.

by VegasCubFan on Apr 30, 2011 5:00 PM CDT up reply actions

What about Colvin?

Can he play a decent first base? HY

GO BULLS AND BLACKHAWKS!

by SouthsideCUBSfan on Apr 29, 2011 1:06 AM CDT via mobile reply actions

Baker too

by mikeschieve on Apr 29, 2011 8:07 AM CDT up reply actions

No way

Colvin: 2HR in 55 PA = 3.6% HR rate
Baker: 1HR in 49 PA = 2% HR rate
Hill: 1HR in 15 PA = 6.7% HR rate

Hill is by far the best solution.

by Danwood on Apr 29, 2011 11:13 AM CDT up reply actions

Nah..

but how about as a starting pitcher?

♪♫ It’s a beautiful day for the ladies, so throw all your dishes away. ♫♪

by katie casey on Apr 29, 2011 6:21 AM CDT reply actions

Santoswoodenlegs for President, Pope, Playmate of the Month, Great Khural Chairman, Dali Lama and Cubs manager.

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Apr 29, 2011 6:35 AM CDT reply actions

ok - all of those but Playmate

by Ihatethecards on Apr 29, 2011 8:09 AM CDT up reply actions

this shows the need for a sarcasm font

I always turn to the sports section first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man's failures.
~Earl Warren

by lookingdeadred on Apr 29, 2011 7:48 AM CDT reply actions

Can Hill pitch?

Because the Cubs need a starter on Monday.

Check out Chicago sports coverage at SB Nation Chicago

by Al Yellon on Apr 29, 2011 7:52 AM CDT reply actions

Looks like you need a poll

for who should start for Dempster now too.

♪♫ It’s a beautiful day for the ladies, so throw all your dishes away. ♫♪

by katie casey on Apr 29, 2011 8:05 AM CDT up reply actions

Position player to pitch

Brenly and Kasper mentioned last night that this might be the rare game where a position player might pitch.. I was hoping to see this.

by mikeschieve on Apr 29, 2011 8:09 AM CDT up reply actions

Who would it have been?

My vote was for Reed Johnson.

Check out Chicago sports coverage at SB Nation Chicago

by Al Yellon on Apr 29, 2011 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions

Can Rich Hill Pitch?

2011 - The 103rd time is the charm.

by memphiscub on Apr 29, 2011 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions

OK, I had to check.

Looks like he’s still with the Red Sox at Triple A Pawtucket: Seven games, 13.1 IP, 14 K, 4 BB, 1.35 ERA.

Contributing Editor, SB Nation Chicago. Please follow us on Twitter!

by daver on Apr 29, 2011 3:52 PM CDT up reply actions

Let's get him back right now.

He couldn’t possibly be worse than Russell.

Check out Chicago sports coverage at SB Nation Chicago

by Al Yellon on Apr 29, 2011 4:50 PM CDT up reply actions

i'd be in favor

of getting rich hill back, but he’s throwing sidearm now and is strictly a reliever.

by circuitclout on Apr 30, 2011 9:04 AM CDT up reply actions

Catchers seem generally well suited for 1st base.

Chirinos could have been an option there, but apparently the Rays would not do the Garza deal without every single one of the prospects and throw-ins we coughed up. How about a try-out for ol’ Wellington at 1st?

by Jerry Mumphrey on Apr 29, 2011 8:25 AM CDT reply actions

FEAR THE CLAW!!

"I’m not going to say a lot, because if you say the wrong the thing to me, then you (hanley) might wind up on the floor on your rear end," Dawson said with Tony Perez standing by his side in a coach’s office at Sun Life Stadium

by 12to23to17 on Apr 29, 2011 8:41 AM CDT reply actions

The claw is our master.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Apr 29, 2011 8:51 AM CDT up reply actions

The AS game write-in vote will meet its maker

Koyie Hill

We'll all miss you Ron.

by alkappy on Apr 29, 2011 9:35 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

Man... you know we suck, when this is a topic of discussion. LOL.

"You win because of the quarterback. We have to get that position stabilized. We're fixated on that." -- Jerry Angelo (12.30.2008)

Jerry Angelo trades for Jay Cutler! (4.2.2009)

by SackMan on Apr 29, 2011 1:11 PM CDT reply actions

Koyie Hill

As a youngster, he was so athletically gifted, playing baseball, he was consistently intentionally walked……in t-ball.