An off day Sci Fi what if scenario...

by Endrick on Jun 2, 2011 12:33 PM CDT

Since it's an off day and I'm bored I was sitting here thinking if I woke up tomorrow morning and I realized I was Tom Ricketts what would I do as the owner of the Cubs

I know everyone has their ideas so I want to hear what you'd do?

After the jump I'll give my ideas as a start...

Knowing that he has said he doesn't want the job, first thing I do is pull Maddux into my office and ask him if he would be willing to take the GM job as an interim with the strict understanding that it is interim unless HE wants the job, but that he will have the job until we find a replacement at the end of the season.

If he says yes I get the machinery rolling to find a new GM in the off season. If he says no I find a temp GM to clear as much salary room within reason.

Then I pull in Hendry and send him off with a severance package and a fruit basket.

Next I pull in Quade and let him know I will back him 100% if he decides he needs to bench any player no matter his contract. if a player is not performing and giving 100% make him ride the bench. That goes for EVERYONE... from Castro to Soriano to Zambrano. I also let him know, I know full well he was given a bad hand this season and his job is safe.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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I wake up as Ricketts....this is what I'd do....

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Jun 2, 2011 12:50 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs

You've outdone yourself on this one...classic!

LMAO

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. ~Bob Lemon, 1981

by Easy Ed on Jun 2, 2011 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions

...

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Jun 2, 2011 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions

I wake up as Ricketts?

Eight words

Hookers to the left; drugs to the right

"It's all in the game, yo"

by Worf on Jun 2, 2011 1:51 PM CDT reply actions

Where's the ball pit?

everyone needs a ball pit.

by Arbusto on Jun 2, 2011 1:59 PM CDT up reply actions

And a ball pit

filled with S’mores. That’s how I roll, bitch.

"It's all in the game, yo"

by Worf on Jun 2, 2011 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions

I think that's an Outkast song.

"The riches of the game are in the thrills, not the money." --Ernie Banks

by dtpollitt on Jun 2, 2011 4:05 PM CDT up reply actions

It's also from the movie "Bachelor Party"

"It's all in the game, yo"

by Worf on Jun 2, 2011 4:44 PM CDT up reply actions

I was trying to have a serious discussion here

but thanks..

You're not deep, You're not an intellectual, You're not an artist, You're not a critic, You're not a poet... You just have internet access.
=========
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat lettuce...

by Endrick on Jun 2, 2011 1:55 PM CDT reply actions

You wanted to have a serious discussion about magically waking up in someone elses body?

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Jun 2, 2011 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions

It's got me wondering

how my husband would handle waking up next to Tom. Please don’t answer. It’s best left unsolved.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 3:30 PM CDT up reply actions

A mental image I didn't need

by Madison Cub Fan on Jun 2, 2011 3:45 PM CDT up reply actions

sorry

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions

only if was my bf not your husband :)

and TR waking up in a suit.

Bad bad bad mental imagines LOL

by Madison Cub Fan on Jun 2, 2011 3:49 PM CDT up reply actions

Forget the magic part...

What would you do if you were TR

by Endrick on Jun 2, 2011 4:18 PM CDT up reply actions

The painfully obvious.

Hire an actual baseball person to run the organization.

Hire a GM who has a grasp of the ratio of performance:value

End the TMOTTBG nonsense.

New ticket pricing tiers (lower prices) with a new “kids” tier for any summer day game for children 13 and younger.

After July 10, the first 100 women under 150 pounds wearing bikini tops to all day games get in free.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Jun 2, 2011 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions

And the first 10 women over 175 wearing them have to pay a 150 percent surcharge

"It's all in the game, yo"

by Worf on Jun 2, 2011 4:44 PM CDT up reply actions

And they are all "herded" into a special section of the park to sit...

the left field bleacher seats will be renamed the “stock yards”.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Jun 2, 2011 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions

C'mon. Don't get rid of my song.

Just get rid of the stupid guests and find someone good that can sing it every day. I’m OK with the rest.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 5:44 PM CDT up reply actions

sorry sweetheart...it's gone.

As I've told you before, I never repeat myself.

by santoswoodenlegs on Jun 2, 2011 5:56 PM CDT up reply actions

I'm going to sing it anyway.

I’ll get the whole crowd going. Just try to stop me. =P

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 6:34 PM CDT up reply actions

I like it

"Well-behaved women seldom make History"---Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

by cooliogirl47 on Jun 2, 2011 8:13 PM CDT up reply actions

I hire this guy

Oscar Rogers: Take it one step at a time. Identify the problem. FIX IT! Identify another problem. FIX IT! Repeat as necessary until it is all FIXED!!
…
Oscar Rogers: FIX IT! FIX IT! FIX IT!

"Easy on the words, brother,'' Quade said.

by RiskyBusiness on Jun 2, 2011 2:07 PM CDT reply actions

I apologize to the fans.

GM's are in charge of Managers, not the other way around.

by shoemile on Jun 2, 2011 2:35 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

Here's one thing I'd do for sure.

I’d give refunds to people that can’t make it to a makeup game for a rainout.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 3:33 PM CDT reply actions

Things I do if I wake up as Ricketts

1) Pee (I do that every morning)
2) Turn on the coffee maker (Ditto)
3) Look in the mirror — realize I’m Ricketts.

4) Give the order for Wrigley Field to be demolished and rebuilt in the same style, but with actual 21st century amenities.
5) Tell Carlos Zambrano to get the hell off my team
6) Order up hookers – Redheads for breakfast
7) Order pizza and S’mores
8) Eat, shave, get dressed, etc…
9) Go out and find some random person and say, "Here’s $10,000. Get down on your knees and bark like a dog if you want it.)
10) Do that about 10 more times until I feel better about the Cubs.
11) Lunchtime! Bring on the blondes!
12) Demand the camera crew stop showing the pathetic team and spend the entire time looking for hot girls in the stands. Send security to get phone numbers.
13) Sleep
14) Dinnertime! Brunettes!
15) Two words – Epic Mickey!

"It's all in the game, yo"

by Worf on Jun 2, 2011 3:44 PM CDT reply actions

You sir, are a genius!

by ubercubsfan on Jun 2, 2011 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions

I'll bark, but, I ain't scratching or licking nothin'....in public.

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. ~Bob Lemon, 1981

by Easy Ed on Jun 2, 2011 9:51 PM CDT up reply actions

I hire a baseball person

I gave him permission to tell me if I am wrong.

by Madison Cub Fan on Jun 2, 2011 3:54 PM CDT reply actions

I'd pay for transportation to the stadium for German fans...

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Jun 2, 2011 4:13 PM CDT reply actions

"Sit down, and write two letters"

Anyone who’s seen “Traffic” (the movie, not the band) will know what I mean.

Lou Brown: "My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team..."

by ballhawk on Jun 2, 2011 4:40 PM CDT reply actions

LMAO

If the Cubs still have a chance, no matter how small, it’s still Go Cubs, damn the math and pass the KoolAid.

by eths on Jun 2, 2011 4:42 PM CDT up reply actions

Crap on a hookah's chest, eh!?

by SenorGato on Jun 2, 2011 7:22 PM CDT reply actions

I wouldn't allow HWSNBN into the park.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 2, 2011 7:37 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

I would get to yell "Play Ball" and then get to be ball girl for the ENTIRE summer....even the road games :D

"Well-behaved women seldom make History"---Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

by cooliogirl47 on Jun 2, 2011 8:08 PM CDT reply actions

But if you were the ball girl...

You wouldn’t be Tom Ricketts. Unless you got a surgery.

by Arbusto on Jun 3, 2011 7:42 AM CDT up reply actions

Also, I don't think Ricketts would have the right to say "Play ball."

That is the umps job and I doubt he’d be allowed to interfere. And just to get super nit picky…I also have read that the umps are taught to say simply “Play” not “play ball.” It’s one of the last questions in this article about the book “As They See ’Em” by Bruce Weber. I thought that was a great book, btw.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 3, 2011 7:58 AM CDT up reply actions

its sci-fi katie, anything goes ;)

"Well-behaved women seldom make History"---Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

by cooliogirl47 on Jun 3, 2011 5:16 PM CDT up reply actions

Fair enough. :)

Guess I take my sci-fi too seriously.

Fasten those seat belts...

by katie casey on Jun 3, 2011 5:42 PM CDT up reply actions

no, in my fantasy if I were Ricketts, I would appoint cooliogirl to be ballgirl and shout Play Ball :D

"Well-behaved women seldom make History"---Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

by cooliogirl47 on Jun 3, 2011 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions

I'm hiring Ted Lilly to be the pitching coach...

and making Damien Miller a roving coach or instructor or something with an emphasis on teaching the system’s catchers how to block. And I’m going to put the old standing cub bear logo on one of the uniforms—haven’t decided if it’ll be home or road.

I own the team so I can do these things! And I believe I will have to send Jim Hendry packing. I believe he’s run his course and it’s time he moves on.

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"--The Brain

by brook on Jun 2, 2011 8:10 PM CDT reply actions