With the continuing debacle of Quaderophenia now an ongoing train wreck of suckitude that will likely threaten the 2011 Chicago Cubs ability to hope for a close to .500 season, a time of decision is upon us.
This is where the power of the Internet, Cubs fans rage and creative Cubs marketing managers can make a difference!
As we recall from our collective nation's Cub lore, pathos and tragedy, the infamy that was the Chicago Cubs' College of Coaches from 1961-1962 (and well rehearsed by Al here) was a hideous abomination best left forgotten.
But not at Bleed Cubbie Blue! We certainly have seen more than our share of bizarro coaching decisions this year, so what the hey, why not start a grassroots move to have the College of Coaches V. 2.0 reintroduced? This could be the reboot of the franchise that might make the difference! We might even say it was a brainstorm that now can be squarely reconsidered for saving the hopes of the Cubs Nation this year. They didn't have Twitter, cell phones or the Net back in those ancient times, but we could sure use it now to make the fan base of the Cubs the most interactive driving force behind a new win streak! Imagine a College Coach taking your suggestion to, ahem, Grabes in the bottom of the ninth with the Cardinals tied in Blech Stadium, bases loaded, no one out, and making it THE pitch, even as LaRussa's suicide squeeze is coming in!
Who would you nominate? Here from my moving box filled lair in the Holy City, I'd like to suggest the following:
1) My Bloom high school teacher Mr. Krieger - he always would spit when he mentioned how he could coach the blankety blank Cubs better than anyone else. Here's his chance!
2) Ernie Banks - he'd be the consummate positive go to guy, would remind us of how beautiful the day was, and would support the self-esteem of the Cubs on a rough stretch
3) Bobby Cox - Always the 10th man of the lineup, he'd only have to be around a few days a month and could readily enjoy more of it when he gets tossed from the game for the 200th time.
4) Blue Mike - His stellar assessments of the Cubs' shortcomings are legendary here on BCB. There is wisdom here that mustn't be overlooked. I believe he could easily call upon TJ11 for back up or even have him fill in.
5) My niece Maggie - the fanshot I did a while back where she astutely analyzed the 2010 Cubs' weaknesses shows she knows the game better than Quade does. And in a pinch, she can lead in "Determinate" better than Carlos Marmol ever can ..
Let's hear who you'd nominate and hopefully the Ricketts will get their focus groups focusing .. and we can see winning Baseball once again.
DISCLAIMER: If you didn't like the post and felt dumber for reading it, you were warned at the outset just by the title. If you read it, were able to stop half way through and didn't, well remember, you'd only be half as dumb as you are now for doing so.
Have fun .. and .. Eamus Catuli!