The Ballad of the Chicago Cubs

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

a tale of a woeful team.

This mess started back in the early Spring,

under Tom Rickett’s wing.

The GM was a mighty welcomed man,

the skipper new and sure.

Twenty-five players with so-so skills

set out to give some thrills, set out to give some thrills…

(CRACK!)

The season started getting rough,

the plate was rarely crossed.

With their best players still at Triple-A,

the season would be lost, the season would be lost.

The Cubs dropped games with great aplomb, the players in a daze.

With Sori’s legs...

hard-luck Dempster too…

the kid shortstop and his bat…

the catching retread…

the ‘Garz’ and guys, you don’t know,

here in the friendly confines.

So this is the tale of the Chicago Cubs,

they’ve been here for a long, long time.

They’ll have to make the best of things,

it’s an uphill climb.

The GM and the skipper too,

will do their very best,

to make the owners a buck or two,

as the sun sets in the west.

No hits, no runs, no talent at all-

not a single player to keep.

Where’s Robinson Chirinos,

for this baseball dung-heap?

So join us here each day my friends,

you’re sure to wonder why...

we all put up with this year after year,

here in the friendly confines.