When this ran originally, Al told me to run it again later in the spring. It's later, and it's spring, and there's another night game today. The rules are simple. Add a nickname to the list. Or debate the merits of one I've included. Be kind. That should do.
Albert Almora: Al Squared
Gioskar Amaya: Gioskar the Grouch (or anything that rolls like that).
Javier Baez: The Buzz, Javy, Money Badger
Darwin Barney: The Purple Evolutionist
Welington Castillo: Beeeeeeeeeeeef
Starlin Castro: (Apparently doesn't need one)
David DeJesus: DDJ, Kim's Husband
Pierce Johnson: Ouch, The Stud
Junior Lake: Senior Pond
Barret Loux: HC100 (Jason Brigham was traded for Loux Plus One, which is close to Haircut 100's only hit.)
Anthony Rizzo: Batso Rizzo, RizzOMG
Jeff Samardzija: Shark
Alfonso Soriano: Fonzie, Sori
Matt Szczur: Et Tu, Salad, Spellczech
Logan Watkins: Lo-Wat, Watty, Wolverine