FanPost

The Art of War: Chicago Style


Well, a third team, in 3 series's, has now clinched the playoffs and/or division against the Chicago Cubs. Take your medicine boys. Take your medicine. It's good for you. You must stare into the face of the people that wrong you, and desensitize yourself, in order to overcome the adversity before you. I liken this clinch fest to when I would stare at photo's of my ex wife and I together in happier times, in order to not have a knee jerk emotional reaction every time I caught a passing glimpse of her. You gotta get angry, and you gotta get tough to get yourself through the tough times. Steel your soul. Look at these champion teams. Really look at them. Look them right in their champagne soaked begoggled eyes. The fools!

Watch them jumping up and down, like teenage girls with Bieber fever, on the mound at your ballpark!

Study your enemy closely Cubbies. You should be seething with envy and hatred at your adversary. Read the Art of War by Sun Tzu. Study the brutal tactics of Ghengis Khan and the Mongols, who slaughtered Central Asia, just as the Cubs must slaughter the National League Central. Every Cub needs to find their inner Grizzly Bear during this off season. Hang pictures of the 3 teams who beat you this last week all over your house until you are enveloped with vengeful thoughts. Every day, you will be motivated to get meaner, stronger, more focused. You must make your heart cold. Full of hate. Your mind electric. And your soul bitter with envy. Yes! Do this Chicago Cubs!!
Oh, and would it kill you to take a little batting practice too? Maybe hit the fall and winter league's? Last night was just embarrassing.
Because next year.....


I still can't watch this without crying....

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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