The Cubs are so bad... (How bad are they?)

With the regular season about to start, and the Cubs looking at (most likely) another not-so-good W-L record (at best, .500; at worst 100+ L), I thought we could all use a laugh. No, I'm not going to post a selfie - I said we could use a laugh, not a recoil in horror...

Instead, I'd like to conjure up the days of Henny Youngman, Jack Benny, Groucho Marx, Johnny Carson and Rodney Dangerfield, not to mention a few rimshots.

Take my team... please.


So whether you're a full-fledged TheoBot or a die-hard Debbie Downer, here's your chance to get it all out of your system before the season starts. I've listed below a few beauts I've saved up over the years - feel free to add your own.

The Cubs are so bad....

...Free agents are insisting on a Trade Clause in their contract

...It's now the Private Morgan Club

...NOMAR is now posting same day in the game recaps, just to get it over with

...The City of Chicago changed Amusement tax to Misery tax on the tickets

...Jim Belushi said he was too busy to sing TMOTTBG


The Cubs are so bad....

...Judd Sirot doesn't seem so annoying anymore in the 5th inning

...The Cubs are paying fans $100 to stay on the ST waiting list

...When NBF says "This isn't Pittsburgh", deep down he really wishes it was

...Tim McCarver couldn't handle doing Cubs games anymore so he finally retired

...Crane Kenney is back to wearing shirt and tie around the office


The Cubs are so bad....

...Ronnie Woo Woo is speechless

...They'll still finish in 6th place in NL Central

...Kandebar is down to only one thought on each game

...Biogenesis won't sell to them

...SBN auto-locks game threads after first pitch


And finally...

The Cubs are so bad...

    ...Mr. Cub only wants to play one.


    Humor folks, it's called humor. Remember - laughter is the best medicine. Well, after alcohol. And bacon. And winning. And having sex. And more bacon.

    Wait, I got it - having sex while drinking bacon bourbon shooters as the Cubs are winning. Yeah, that's the ticket...

    This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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