I grew up watching David Letterman. I first encountered him doing stand-up on the Tonight Show in the late 1970s. I never missed his short-lived morning show when I was home sick from school. I would watch "Late Night With David Letterman" after work in college while I finished up my homework. And while I admit that his CBS show lacked the free-wheeling creativity that his show on NBC had, it was still consistently solid and brilliant at times. When Dave cared enough to put on a great show, there few few hours of television more compelling. His retirement tonight is sad for me both because an institution that has been a part of three-quarters of my life is going away, but also because it's a reminder of my own mortality.
So in honor of David Letterman, I contacted the home office in Mesa, Arizona and asked them to put together a Cubs-themed Top Ten List. Here's what they sent back to me.
TOP TEN THINGS WE'VE LEARNED AS CUBS FANS SINCE DAVID LETTERMAN'S FIRST LATE-NIGHT SHOW (February 1, 1982)
10. Install lights before first night game, not after.
9. When it comes to pitchers, more fingers is not necessarily better.
8. It might sound like a bad idea, but hiring a manager with a steel plate in his head does have its advantages.
7. Hold press conferences at the Cubby Bear, not the firehouse across the street.
6. Never shake Moises Alou's hand.
5. Drano can clear bases clogged by walks.
4. Never trust an "employee" who spells his name with an "inverted W."
3. Best place to find a new team president? Starbucks.
2. They're not making corked bats like they used to.
And the number one thing we've learned as Cubs fans since David Letterman's first show
1. Eighty-five percent of the world spends the day working. The other fifteen percent are Cubs fans!
Bonus: Here's Dave himself delivering a Cubs-themed Top Ten List while doing a show in Chicago in 1989.
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