I think it is pretty clear what has happened...

by Ross on Jun 15, 2005 3:51 PM CDT Comment 10 comments

Maddux has swapped bodies with Mitre. It probably happened something like this.

Greg invited Sergio over to talk golf, or perhaps pitching. Over mimosas, "The Professor" drugged the young pitcher, and dragged him down to his hidden lab. There, Mitre was strapped to a table, and Greg's assistant, Henry "Igor" Blanco, then strapped the Professor down. Blanco limped over to the power lever and threw the switch.

Sparks flew, there was a low rumbling sound, followed by a high wailing sound that was similar to Ron Santo whining about the Cubs poor play.

Moments later, their minds were swapped. The veteran mind of the professor in the young, skilled body of Mitre, and vice versa.

I think the best evidence of this is the facial hair. As those long time Cubs fans might remember, Maddux was somewhat facially hair challenged, particularly early on. Now blessed with the ability to grow a groucho-esque bit of facial hair in "just a couple of days," he has jumped at the opportunity.

It is the only solution.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Al Yellon, managing editor (unless it's a FanPost posted by Al). FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable baseball fans.

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That pretty much explains everything

I don't think we should wonder why Mitré is pitching like that anymore. Not after today's Maddux outing.

Another evidence: Maddux issued two walks in a little bit more than three innings. Mitré didn't walk anyone in nine innings last night, and has walked only one in the past sixteen innings. It's all clear now. Thanks, Ross.

(Johan Santana pitches to R. Clayton, from Arizona) Great, Clayton! you hit the ball! ... into a double play.

by Carlos on Jun 15, 2005 4:08 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

funny

lol

by MOE on Jun 15, 2005 5:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

We will know for sure if ...

Sergio discovers a mad passion for golf and starts
dressing like a geek ( unless he already does)

Jessica

by jessica on Jun 15, 2005 7:38 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

i was thinking this last night,

but i thought it didn't fit because Maddux had been pitching so well. After today, it fits.

The Cubs will thrive in twenty-oh-five!

by shawndgoldman on Jun 15, 2005 8:08 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

And when the Yankees

request corey and mitre for sheffield, the cubs will substitute maddux for mitre. and there will be much dancing and merriment. and a savings of 9 million for 2006.

by dc60123 on Jun 15, 2005 8:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

And...

If he starts wearing big glasses and getting traded to the Braves, eh?

by Keith on Jun 15, 2005 9:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

No it would be big glasses and

winning a Cy Young and then signing with the
Braves as a free agent because the Cubs figure they can sign two mediocre pitchers for the same price.

Sorry it still hurts

Jessica

by jessica on Jun 16, 2005 12:03 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Wow, if this is true

...I wonder how long he's actually been in the majors, how many times he's done this, who he's been, and what his win totals actually are. Just think, we could be dealing with Cy Young here. I mean, this guy could have thousands of wins.

And if he's found out, which hat will he wear in the Hall?

by helen on Jun 16, 2005 1:40 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs