clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Designed Intelligence?

New, 5 comments

With a tip o' the cap to Viva El Birdos and Catfish Stew, I headed over to Jabberwacky today to have a conversation about the prospects for the 2006 Cubs.

My comments are in bold; the replies follow. Almost makes you think I was talking to Tim McCarver or something.

Let's talk about the Cubs' chances in 2006.
Do you remember Elevator Bacon Collins?
He never played for the Cubs. Besides, I don't want to talk about history.
Who was talking about history?
You were. I want to talk about the 2006 Cubs.
I don't.
Isn't that what you are here for? To make conversation?
I am not capable of being angry about something that I don't even know about.
Who said anything about being angry?
I don't know.
Wasn't me. Now, what about signing Rafael Furcal?
You tell me.
I'd like to see it, but I was asking you.
You would like to see brain matter?
If a player is willing to use his brain matter, sure.
Mexico?
The Cubs don't have any Mexican players. Should they get one?
That isn't what I asked.
I know, but you keep changing the subject.
That sounds like something someone said to you.
Let's try pitching. What about the possibility of Bobby Howry?
I don't know.
You don't have many useful opinions about the Cubs, do you?
Ask me about hockey. I know a lot about that.
Can any of the Cubs play hockey?
Hockey too? I thought you played basketball.
No, actually, we were discussing baseball.
Yes.
Right. So what about Dusty Baker? Is he a good manager?
Don't know it.
Well, who does? And what about Jim Hendry? Can he get the job done?
He's one of my favorite actors. I just told you.
No, you didn't.
We don't need to argue.
This isn't an argument.
Let's argue about peace.
I'd rather talk about baseball. Wouldn't you?
No. I don't want to. Religion and politics lead man to war. Don't make the same mistake.
I surely won't. Thanks for your time.
Is our conversation over?
Only if you keep refusing to discuss the Chicago Cubs.
Love to wash in your old bathwater, love to think that you couldn't love another......