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Phil Rogers Loses It

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No, really. This time he's gone completely off the deep end.

Thanx to South Side Sox for tipping me to today's Rogers column, in which he puts forth this absolute rubbish:

The Cubs give up Zambrano, shortstop Neifi Perez, center fielder Corey Patterson, left-hander Will Ohman (expendable with Scott Eyre and Glendon Rusch available for the bullpen) and one of two on-the-cusp pitching prospects, either left-hander Rich Hill or right-hander Angel Guzman. They get Tejada and as many as five prospects who could fill needs in the near future--a pitcher (Hayden Penn, John Maine or Adam Loewen), two outfielders (Joe Borchard and one among the Baltimore group of Val Majewski, Jeff Florentino and Nick Markakis), first baseman Casey Rogowski and left-hander Arnie Munoz.

The Sox give up one arm from the Garland/Contreras/Garcia/Vazquez mix and four prospects who aren't being penciled in for big things--Borchard, Rogowski (a really good hitter who doesn't fit on a team that has Konerko and Thome), Munoz and Charles Haeger, a knuckleballer who pitched well in Venezuela after dominating Double A. They get back Bedard, a lefty with great stuff; Ohman, who fills the bullpen need and could allow Neal Cotts to move into the rotation in 2007; and either Hill or Guzman.

The Orioles wind up with the most inventory, as they should. They get Zambrano and Garland, Contreras, Garcia or Vazquez along with Perez, Patterson and Haeger. They give up Tejada, Bedard and a pitching prospect.

In this deal, the Orioles take on a little additional salary and the Sox save some, which they could put away to help with a midseason move. The Cubs would get Tejada while hanging on to Ronny Cedeno--who becomes the second baseman, triggering a Todd Walker trade--and Pie. The deal would be essentially neutral in terms of payroll, allowing Hendry the flexibility to pick off two or three of the remaining free agents, including a starter to replace Zambrano.

He did write that this was

drawn up on a cocktail napkin

... which is about all it's worth. So before you all froth at the mouth and spout off a couple dozen diaries about this, take a deep breath and enjoy your holiday weekend.