I think we all need something like this, don't we:
The price tag is going to be tough for any team, but it did not deter the Yankees, who sent Derek Jeter to deliver the bid in tight pants. The Mets countered by oiling up David Wright and sending him in wearing nothing but a little red bow.
Other teams have tried to find more creative solutions for raising the requisite cash. "It's going to be hard for us to come up with a competitive bid, but we're starting by putting Derrek Lee up on eBay."
Another GM was said to include several of his children in the bid to work as vassals. "I'll miss them a lot," said the GM, who wished to remain anonymous, "but you can't overvalue pitching these days."
There's more, but you get the idea. From the always-excellent Bat-girl blog.