Hey, intrepid bloggers can't come up with totally original stuff every day, right?
The guy calling himself "Score Bard" over at Baseball Toaster has begun doing roster anagrams, along with little poetry for each team.
I stumbled on this yesterday, when he did the Rangers -- today it's the Mariners (I particularly like "A Zen Elf Hendrix"- Felix Hernandez), and figured I'd beat him to the punch with my take on the Cubs.
These are courtesy of the wonderful Internet Anagram Server.
Note that the server could not come up with a single anagram for "Rich Hill" other than "Rich Hill". I did do all this anagram work myself.
| Pitchers | B/T | Ht | Wt | DOB | |
| 54 | Arm As Avid Dad | R/R | 6-5 | 200 | 12/27/81 |
| 46 | Pastry Mender | R/R | 6-2 | 215 | 05/03/77 |
| 47 | Erect Toys | L/L | 6-1 | 215 | 05/30/72 |
| 67 | Glaze Gunman | R/R | 6-3 | 190 | 12/14/81 |
| 53 | Rich Hill | L/L | 6-4 | 205 | 03/11/80 |
| 62 | Hobby Row | L/R | 6-5 | 220 | 08/04/73 |
| 49 | Ran John Kook | L/L | 6-1 | 180 | 07/03/80 |
| 31 | Max Drugged | R/R | 6-0 | 180 | 04/14/66 |
| 61 | Small Armor Co. | R/R | 6-2 | 180 | 09/14/82 |
| 52 | Lash Lars, Amen | L/L | 6-6 | 195 | 08/30/82 |
| 44 | Boo Oven Or Tar | R/R | 6-5 | 200 | 08/15/79 |
| 45 | Hamlin Owl | L/L | 6-2 | 195 | 08/13/77 |
| 22 | Rim Or Park | R/R | 6-5 | 230 | 09/07/80 |
| 33 | Chord Leg Nuns | L/L | 6-1 | 225 | 11/07/74 |
| 70 | Ray Juke, UK | R/R | 6-3 | 220 | 05/30/83 |
| 40 | Molly Tweed Deer | R/R | 6-3 | 205 | 08/30/78 |
| 32 | Ow, A Smellier Jim | R/R | 6-3 | 245 | 12/04/81 |
| 48 | Coolant Swim List | R/R | 6-04 | 185 | 02/17/76 |
| 34 | Dr. Yore Wok | R/R | 6-5 | 225 | 06/16/77 |
| 43 | Zilch Water Emu | R/R | 6-3 | 205 | 12/15/78 |
| 38 | So Can Razor Balm | R/R | 6-5 | 255 | 06/01/81 |
| Catchers | B/T | Ht | Wt | DOB | |
| 8 | I Let Her Brat Cam | R/R | 6-3 | 210 | 10/22/76 |
| 24 | Breach Nylon | R/R | 5-11 | 220 | 08/29/71 |
| 51 | Yes, So Jeer | S/R | 5-11 | 180 | 02/26/84 |
| 58 | Onto Voyages | R/R | 6-1 | 230 | 01/20/83 |
| Infielders | B/T | Ht | Wt | DOB | |
| 5 | Yen Condoner | R/R | 6-0 | 180 | 02/02/83 |
| 56 | A Kid Pro Brain | R/R | 6-4 | 235 | 12/20/83 |
| 25 | Reeder Elk | R/R | 6-5 | 245 | 09/06/75 |
| 57 | Comets Root | L/R | 6-2 | 180 | 11/17/83 |
| 13 | Pie Zen Fire | S/R | 6-0 | 195 | 06/02/73 |
| 16 | Arm Size Ram Air | R/R | 6-1 | 215 | 06/25/78 |
| 55 | Hi, Ornery Tat | R/R | 5-11 | 175 | 12/07/79 |
| 7 | OK, Twaddler | L/R | 6-0 | 185 | 05/25/73 |
| Outfielders | B/T | Ht | Wt | DOB | |
| 15 | Join Sherry Rat | R/R | 5-10 | 185 | 05/29/76 |
| 11 | Joe Cajun, Esq. | L/L | 5-10 | 205 | 04/25/75 |
| 17 | Jam By Horn | L/R | 6-4 | 210 | 10/17/70 |
| 19 | Mutant Mort | R/R | 6-1 | 215 | 10/03/81 |
| -- | Anal Pan Egg | S/R | 6-1 | 180 | 07/02/81 |
| 68 | Elf Pixie | L/L | 6-2 | 175 | 02/08/85 |
| 9 | Juniper Era | L/L | 6-0 | 180 | 08/14/77 |