by request, and with absolutely NO apologies to Adam Sandler
Put on your yarmulka, here comes Hanukkah
It's so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here are some ballplayers who are Jewish, just like you and me:
David Newhan lights the menorah
So does Shawn Green, Scott Schoeneweis, and the late Hank Greenberg-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Brad Ausmus from the Astros, and Jason Marquis ...elli. (Sorry, "Deli"'s hard to rhyme!)
Ryan Braun's half Jewish; Mike Lieberthal's half too,
Put them together--what a fine hittin' Jew!
You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cause you can spin the dreidel with Pittsburgh's John Grabow and Jason Hirsh of the Rox -- both Jewish!
Put on your yarmulka, it's time for Hanukkah
The owner of the New York Mets-icahs celebrates Hanukkah.
O.J. Simpson -- not a Jew!
But guess who is ... Hall of Famer -- Rod Carew -- (he converted!)
(Left those original lyrics in for a reason: they're not true. Carew married a Jewish woman and his daughters were raised Jewish, but he himself never officially converted. A ballplayer who did: 1960's White Sox pitcher Joel Horlen, who converted after he retired. Anyway...)
We got Ian Kinsler and Steve Stone, who's so gabby,
The '90s Cub Jose Bautista's Jewish -- not too shabby!
Some people think that Mike Jacobs is
Well, he's not, but guess who is: Kevin You-kil-is ...
So many Jews are in this biz --
Jake Peavy isn't, but I hear his agent is.
Tell your friend Veronica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your marijuana-kah,
If you really, really wanna-kah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah.