The Marlins beat the Cubs last night 9-0.
That's really all that can be said about the game. It's almost as if the Cubs didn't even show up. They had only five hits and a walk, and even though I said to Howard after Dan Uggla's first inning HR, "One run won't win this game!", clearly, that was wrong. Uggla had another HR later, and just for information's sake, no player whose name begins with U has ever had a three-HR game. Might as well have, I suppose.
Multiple meetings yesterday, some involving players, some involving management, accomplished nothing -- at least, not in the moment, as the performance last night was the worst so far this year. So with that in mind, here's a list of some things that might be more fun than watching last night's game was:
- watching paint dry
- being caught in rush hour traffic
- having a colonoscopy
- having a root canal
- having an enema
- Reading through the "Official Things That Suck List"
- thinking about the White Sox winning the World Series again
- thinking about the Cardinals winning the World Series again
- spending several weeks arguing with Comcast customer service trying to get my new digital boxes installed
- (Note! Sarcasm coming!) spending time, as we did last night in the bleachers, "lamenting" the great triumphs of the Dusty Baker era, the Tom Trebelhorn era, the Jim Essian era
But this team had better start playing up to its potential -- NOW -- if this is to happen.
Finally, here's what the Alfonso Soriano bobblehead handed out last night looks like:
It doesn't really look like him, does it? We were trying to figure out who it does look like. Some of the suggestions included Sammy Sosa and Ernie Banks.
But we figured it out. Click here. (But don't stay there too long, your monitor might crack.)