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The Cubs Channel Monty Python's "Complete Waste Of Time" In 11-2 Loss To Brewers

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This CD-ROM game would have been a better use of this afternoon than today's game.
This CD-ROM game would have been a better use of this afternoon than today's game.

In 1994, the Monty Python troupe released "Complete Waste of Time", described on Wikipedia as:

a collection of minigames, screen savers, desktop wallpaper and icons for Mac OS, DOS and Windows.

You could have spent two hours and 36 minutes with it this afternoon and had much more fun than the Cubs and 40,088 dampened fans spent watching the Cubs go down meekly to the Brewers 11-2 on a holiday afternoon when, perhaps predictably, the most fun was figuring out which inning they would play Chicago's "Saturday In The Park" on the only day that its lyrics come true:

Saturday in the park
I think it was the Fourth of July
Saturday in the park
I think it was the Fourth of July

Well, it was. But the rest of the lyrics, which include "People dancing, people laughing" and "People talking, really smiling" weren't true, that is, unless you were a Brewers fan.

Seriously, there's no reason for a serious recap of this game, so I thought I'd have a little fun. It drizzled or rained lightly for the entire game, a day more befitting September than early July, and the game was over in the first inning when Mike Cameron hit a three-run homer off Rich Harden. Harden threw one more inning, gave up another homer (to J. J. Hardy) and two extra-base hits and then departed, his best contribution to the game being his bunt single made when he was actually just trying to sacrifice Mike Fontenot to second in the bottom of the second inning. Just as in the first inning, when the Cubs loaded the bases after a gift dropped fly ball by Corey Hart, the Cubs failed to take advantage; Ryan Theriot then hit into the first of three double plays the Brewers turned on the afternoon.

After Milton Bradley's first home run since May 25 briefly gave the Cubs hope at only 7-2 down, the Brewers continued to pound the Cub bullpen. Casey McGehee hit a home run onto Waveland that was tracked down by our own Ballhawk Ken (and while I give you kudos for not throwing it back, Ken, why didn't you throw back one of the throwback balls I often see flying back into the park from Waveland?), and that made it 11-2, sending many people home early.

The back end of the Cubs bullpen used the last six-plus innings of today's game as more or less an audition to see who's heading back to Iowa when Angel Guzman is reactivated on Monday. If today's results are any indication, it'll be Jeff Samardzija, who gave up McGehee's homer. David Patton, apparent inheritor of the Complete Collection Of Compromising Photos Of Jim Hendry And Lou Piniella, won't be going anywhere (except back to the bullpen bench for ten days or so), and Kevin Hart threw two good innings, perhaps saving his spot in the pen for now.

About the offense, what is there to say? I repeat what's been said here by many: if Alfonso Soriano is hurt and that's why he isn't hitting, he needs to go on the DL. He's certainly not helping the team. The Cubs had no hits at all and only a pair of walks after the third inning, until Fontenot's virtually useless single with two out in the ninth.

Compliments for Bradley on his homer and having some good at-bats today. One day doesn't make him whole again, but perhaps he can build on this tomorrow and in the days to come. And the Cubs can still win the series tomorrow and accomplish what they needed to this weekend -- and here's also hoping for some sunny July days.

Finally, while I was glad the Cubs joined in on the tribute to Lou Gehrig on the 70th anniversary of his famous "luckiest man" speech, they could have waited till just before game time -- Dave Otto's rendition was read about 20 minutes before the first pitch, in the middle of the usual barrage of ads that's widely ignored by everyone, and with the park less than half full.