MLB Bullets Writes With Too Much Flair

I was all set to spend the day outside in the unseasonably warm weather when I noticed water all over my kitchen floor. So instead I got to play plumber all day and all I discovered is that I need to call someone who knows what they're doing today.

I'm also discovering that I'm running into pay walls on newspaper websites as I search for links to bring you as I exceed my "monthly limit." Al doesn't pay me enough to subscribe to dozens of newspapers. I know there are ways around them and I use them, but it's getting annoying.

• Brandon Phillips thinks that he didn't win the NL Gold Glove at second base because the other players resent that he plays with so much "flair." No word about how much "flair" that Phillips thinks that Darwin Barney plays with.
• Yunel Escobar thinks he's getting a fresh start with the Rays.
• The Diamondbacks think that changing their culture from last season will bring more wins. They now have more "selfless" players. I guess they think that will win more games than having more "talented" players.
• Derek Jeter hopes to be ready to play on opening day. He also thinks it will be "awkward" without Alex Rodriguez next to him in the infield. You can read that statement in a few different ways.
• New Yankees third baseman Kevin Youkilis is busy removing his foot from his mouth so he can do some fast tap-dancing after he said he'd be a "Red Sox for life."
• Ken Davidoff thinks the Mets should sign Jose Valverde. Adam Rubin says a Mets insider told him that's "very, very, unlikely."
• Matt Kemp thinks that Brandon Belt should worry about the Giants and not the Dodgers.
• Serious news and no joking around here. Carl Pavano almost died from his recent spleen injury.
• Jose Reyes is no fan of Jeffrey Loria. See, this is why most people take an instant dislike to Loria. It saves time.
• Terry Collins thinks that Marlon Byrd could be the Mets starting right fielder. That kind of makes me feel better about the Cubs.
• Jurickson Profar still hasn't decided whether to play in the World Baseball Classic. You look really good in orange, Jurickson.
• Evan Grant asks whether Yu Darvish or Matt Harrison will be the Rangers opening day starter. A better question might be "Does it really make any difference?"
• Dan Uggla lost twenty pounds on the "Whole Foods Diet" as he tries to rebound from the worst season of his career. Funny. Usually that works because you can't afford to buy much food if you're shopping at Whole Foods, but I don't think that's the case with Uggla.
• Thomas Boswell thinks the Nationals could be helped or hurt by last season's playoff ouster and Davey Johnson's impending retirement. With that kind of insight, it's shocking he's never won the Spink award.
• Jaime Garcia says he's healthy.
• For the first time ever, there were no arbitration hearing in MLB this season as every team and arb-eligible player settled. Also, Pablo Sandoval is fat.
• Kendrys Morales is excited to be joining the Mariners, but he's going to have to fight for playing time.
• Rather than return from the strike in 1995, Tom Brunansky decided he was going to call it a career and stay home with his kids. Almost twenty years later, he'e back in the majors with the Twins as their newest hitting coach.
• Charlie Manuel isn't worried about his job or Ryne Sandberg.
• Kevin Acee of the San Diego Union Tribune thinks that Yasmani Grandal's apologies are all well and good, but actions speak louder than words from this point forward.

Down by sixteen early,the Hawkeye Men's Basketball team bounced back to trounce Minnesota, 72-51.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster, because I hope my floors will be dry by then.