MLB Bullets Has A Chance To Be Historically Awful

My daughter came home from pre-school singing something called "Hip-Hop Five Year Old." If I find out which one of her classmates taught her that. . . .

• A scary scene in St. Petersburg as Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ was hit in the head with a line drive off the bat of the Rays' Desmond Jennings. Haap had to leave the field on a stretcher, but appeared to be conscious throughout the whole ordeal. Not for the squeamish.
• Joe Posnanski wants to know "Do the Astros have what it takes?" And by "what it takes" he means can they remain bad enough all season long to break the 1962 Mets 120 losses record? Other teams, like the 2003 Tigers and the 1988 Orioles didn't have it. The Astros will have their awfulness tested all season.
• Now you can drink the same sparkling wine that the World Champion San Francisco Giants sprayed all over each other! This officially-licensed sparkling wine comes in a commemorative bottle with the Giants logo. There's also a special edition limited to 2,012 bottles for those who want a more exclusive alcohol shower.
• With Felix Hernandez and Hisashi Iwakuma, do the Mariners have the best 1-2 starting pitcher tandem in baseball? The Mariners think so and they're probably right.
• Speaking of Iwakuma, Dave Cameron at FanGraphs takes note that there are a ton of good Asian pitchers in MLB this year. He thinks they're underrated right now because of some high-profile failures from the previous decade.
• He's not a pitcher, but Brewers outfielder Norichika Aoki is one of the best lead-off men in the game. Aoki was a star in Japan, but drew little interest when he came over last season. The Cubs Kyuji Fujikawa says that Aoki is a better hitter in the US than he was in Japan.
• Another great Asian leadoff hitter in the NL Central is Shin-Soo Choo, and the Reds sorely need him.
• Craig Calcaterra over at Hardball Talk finds to great examples of the NY press having lost it as far as Alex Rodriguez is concerned. One takes a shot at ARod for not driving a Ford Focus, apparently. The other one talks about his "psychological dependence on PEDs."
• The Missouri state legislature passed a bill naming the I-70 Bridge over the Mississippi after Stan Musial. Actually, half the bridge is named after Stan the Man. The other half is controlled by the State of Illinois, and so far they've declined to honor the Cardinal great, preferring to name their half of the bridge the "Veterans Memorial Bridge."
• Gavin Floyd will have elbow surgery and will miss the rest of this season and possibly all of 2014 as well.
• Jay Jaffe says it's not Mike Scioscia's fault that the Angels "stink on ice." The blame lies with those above him in the organization.
• April of 2013 has been Josh Hamilton's worst month ever.
• Richard Justice wants to remind Josh Hamilton that the Rangers lead the American League in attendance, which isn't bad for somewhere that isn't a baseball town. Of course, Hamilton's Angels are in second place.
• Matt Kemp gives a dying boy the shirt off his back. Kemp's kind of a cool dude.
• As one who firmly believes that the greatest sports movie of all time is "Slap Shot," I heartily approve of the Twins good luck message to the Wild. Old time baseball? Eh, coach?
• I've been hyping this for months now, and Mike Piazza finally made his ballet debut. From all accounts, he acquitted himself well.
• The Marlins are going to start closing the upper deck for weeknight games. Oy vey.
• The Padres bullpen takes the phrase "getting hot" a little too literally. They do seem to be smart enough not to touch the Ghost Peppers growing in the bullpen.
• Ken Rosenthal has a lot to say in his latest column. For one, there is some concern that the Dominican Republic's use of Fernando Rodney and Pedro Strop in the WBC may be affecting their season. David Price's velocity is down, Gerrit Cole is coming and the Astros are so bad that they may not be able to trade Bud Norris and Lucas Harrell for fear that the team becomes unwatchable.
• Scott Kazmir's comeback is amazing, writes Terry Pluto.
• Manny Machado is showing maturity way beyond his 20 years.
• The Detroit Tigers have undertaken efforts to preserve real tigers. Now if only Cleveland would do something similar.
• Finally, and this is cool, a look at a Royals scouting report on Bo Jackson. I actually think there should have been real questions about Jackson's hit tool. The rest of his tools were superhuman.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster. Maybe the Cubs will have a three-game win streak by then.