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Masahiro Tanaka Song Update: Tanaka Would Have Made the Cubs Poor!

BCB's Danny Rockett's updated ditty about the Tanaka Sweepstakes. Damn Yankees!

Chung Sung-Jun

Well, it feels like it's the day after Christmas and all I got was a lousy sweater from my Aunt Charlene, while my rich cousin got two tickets to the Super Bowl. Meh. I don't care about football much anyway… But now that the Evil Empire has bought themselves yet another team, I thought it pertinent to update my post from earlier this morning -- and, of course, do a little hating on the New York Yankees in the process.

I've posted the lyrics below so you can sing along! Trust me! Singing will make you happier!!

Tanaka signed with Yankees
The Cubbies lost the bidding war
They’ve got Beltran and Ellsbury
A-Rod's suspension let them offer more

Tanak-nak-naka’s gonna make 'em poor
I’m glad he’s pitching in New York
Seven years opt out after four
Tanak-nak-naka’s gonna make 'em poor.

New York’s a real exciting town
Buy sushi at any grocery store
But Chicago’s pizza wins hands down
New York slices taste just like cardboard

Tanak-nak-naka's gonna make 'em poor
What if his rotator cuff tore?
Goes on the DL like Mark Prior
Tanak-nak-naka woulda made us poor

There’s Kosuke Fukudome
His batting average was so low
Just cause the guy is Japanese
Doesn’t mean he’s Ichiro!

Tanak-nak-naka woulda made us poor
First we need some cash from a scoreboard
God! This off season's has been a bore!
Tanaka-nak-naka woulda made us poor!