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MLB Bullets Would Like To Thank The Academy

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Big Donkey went to the Oscars. Frank Deford has a really stupid idea and the Cleveland Plain Dealer has a good one. Masahiro Tanaka throws his first pitches of the season and Miguel Sano's season is already over. Sydney is getting ready for Opening Day, which should be a national holiday.

David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

I'm not actually back on the site yet. I'm writing you from an alternate dimension. This dimension is exactly the same as the dimensions that you are currently living in, except in this dimension everyone voted for Mike Trout for AL MVP the past two seasons. It was unanimous. Also, broccoli tastes like cheesecake. It's truly a magical place.

Thanks for Al for filling in for me as I needed a week off to take care of some personal business. It might still be a day or two before I'm up to full speed, but I am back.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.