MLB Bullets Would Like To Thank The Academy

I'm not actually back on the site yet. I'm writing you from an alternate dimension. This dimension is exactly the same as the dimensions that you are currently living in, except in this dimension everyone voted for Mike Trout for AL MVP the past two seasons. It was unanimous. Also, broccoli tastes like cheesecake. It's truly a magical place.

• Adam Dunn made an appearance at last night's Academy Awards as one of the producers/guy who wrote a check for "Dallas Buyers Club" along with a small, non-speaking role as a bartender. "Dallas Buyers Club" didn't win best picture, but Matthew McConaughey did win Best Actor for his role in the movie.
• I'd give up my left arm to be able to write as well as Frank Deford. Especially since I would use those powers for good and not to spit out inane drivel like Deford does these days. In any case, Deford thinks there are too many strikeouts in baseball, so his conclusion is that the game needs to shrink home plate. Come to think of it, my left arm is killing me right now. So I'd give it up anyway.
• Joe Posnanski thinks Deford is crazy. He examines the issue of strikeouts in the game today, asks if anything actually needs to be done and if so, tries to figure out what. But he certainly thinks the idea of shrinking home plate is the wrong answer.
• Rob Neyer agrees that shrinking home plate is a stupid idea, but also agrees that baseball would be a better game if the "Three True Outcomes" (home runs, strikeouts and walks) were reduced. He thinks tinkering with the rules could have some unintended outcomes, but he does think lowering the mound might be a good idea.
• The editorial board of the Cleveland Plain Dealer came out in favor of retiring the "racially insensitive" Chief Wahoo once and for all. They say it's just a matter of time before he's gone, and the sooner the better.
• In a game that was nationally televised in Japan (Really? Don't they have better things to do?) Masahiro Tanaka struck out three Philles over two scoreless innings in his spring training debut.
• The Phillies who faced him were impressed.
• So was Phil Rogers. Of course, I could probably strike out Phil Rogers. But not if I was pitching with my now-missing left arm.
• David Ortiz said he would welcome a gay teammate in an interview with the Boston Herald. (h/t Outsports, although I have to admit the 13 year old in me giggled at their headline.)
• The Twins suffered a big blow as top prospect Miguel Sano will undergo Tommy John surgery and miss all of 2014. (He's not the Twins top prospect, but one of the top five or six prospects in baseball anyway. Nice problem to have.)
• Christina Kahrl says that she, and Twins fans, are disappointed. The silver lining is that the surgery is not nearly as serious for a position player as it is for a pitcher.
• Mike Bates says the Twins weren't going to compete in 2014 anyway, so slowing down Sano's development might be a good thing in the long run.
• Zack Greinke's spring debut lasted three pitches.
• Marlins president David Samson was the first contestant voted off of Survivor. So they can't stand him either.
• Reports are that Harold Reynolds and Tom Verducci will join Jack Buck as Tim McCarver's replacements on Fox baseball broadcasts. I suppose they're an improvement over McCarver, but that's like saying the Dave Matthews Band is an improvement over getting hit over the head with a hammer repeatedly.
• Ryan Braun homered in his first at-bat of the spring. You didn't need all those drugs, Ryan. You should have realized that before you made a pariah of yourself.
• And just to make that point further, Braun was widely booed at his home spring training debut. Most of the boos were coming from visiting Dodgers fans, however. Most. Not all.
• Joey Votto hears the criticism that he's too selective at the plate and doesn't drive in enough runs. But he's not going to change his approach for you or any other man.
• So, now we know why the Rangers invited Russell Wilson to spring training. Ka-ching!
• However, Rangers manager Ron Washington says there is no way Wilson is going to get an at-bat.
• Jayson Werth is really unhappy with his Topps baseball card. I think he has a point. He's certainly pointing at something. That's kind of the point.
• The Giants would be willing to temporarily share AT&T Park with the Athletics as part of the team getting a new stadium. One condition, however. They can't be moving to San Jose. Such a generous offer.
• The Toledo Mud Hens will wear "Ghostbusters" themed jerseys for a Ghostbusters night.
• Mariano Rivera admits he already misses baseball. He's not changing his mind, however.
• Francisco Rodriguez finally got himself and his family out of protest-torn Venezuela.
• If you can get on base, run a little and willing to relocate to Denver, the Rockies are looking for a leadoff hitter.
• Ken Rosenthal looks at diversity efforts by Major League Baseball and explains why they are so important.
• Grant Balfour is happy to be back with the Rays, after almost signing with the Orioles. He's also looking forward to beating the Orioles.
• Robinson Cano wants the Mariners to sign Kendrys Morales and Ervin Santana. At least Morales wouldn't cost them a draft pick. And the Mariners do need more help than just Cano.
• The Los Angeles Times has a look at the historic Sydney Cricket Grounds, where the major league season will start this year when the Dodgers take on the Diamondbacks. Baseball is actually not new there as the Cubs (then called the White Stockings, of course), took on a team of all-stars from other teams in Albert Spalding's World Tour of 1888. Tim McCarver did the telegraph broadcast of that game.
• Australia's Daily Telegraph has a look at how the Cricket Grounds were transformed into baseball field. And even the Athletics pitchers are jealous about the amount of foul territory at that ballpark.
• Some people are petitioning the White House to make baseball's opening day a national holiday. It's a great sentiment, but it will never happen.
• Finally, Tigers catcher Bryan Holaday posed for a picture with Kate Upton--and the wrong one was wearing a swimsuit! Maybe. Some people might think Bryan looks kind of nice. Naah.

Thanks for Al for filling in for me as I needed a week off to take care of some personal business. It might still be a day or two before I'm up to full speed, but I am back.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.