MLB Bullets Is Batting 500

If you're one of those Cubs fans who can't stand to hear anything positive about Albert Pujols, you might want to just move on to the next article now.

• As you've no doubt already heard, Albert Pujols hit home runs number 499 and 500 last night in Washington. The only real surprise is that it didn't come at Wrigley Field. He's also the third-youngest player in history to hit 500 home runs, after Alex Rodriguez and Jimmie Foxx.
• Jayson Stark looks at Pujols' career numbers to appreciate how great he's been.
• Ken Rosenthal says that the 500 home run milestone isn't what it used to be, but Pujols is still magnificent.
• Anthony Castrovince says that while the Machine from St. Louis is now just a Man in Anaheim, he's still an awfully good Man.
• Jeff Wiser looks at the early data behind Pujols 2014 season and says that while he's not back to where he was in St. Louis, he's been pretty close so far this season.
• Michael Martinez says that Pujols cares more about winning than milestones.
• Mark McGwire says he saw this kind of greatness in Pujols first spring training.
• If you want to feel better, you can read some Tweets from Cardinals fans about Pujols. A few are classy.
• As great as Pujols is, it's clear that he's not even the best player on his own team. Of course, Mike Trout wasn't supposed to be baseball's next superstar. That title was supposed to go to Bryce Harper. Cliff Corcoran looks at the chances that Harper becomes as good as Trout one day.
• You know who is as good as Mike Trout right now? Charlie Blackmon. OK, that's just a small sample size, but Jeff Sullivan looks at Blackmon and tries to figure out how much of his improvement this season is for real.
• The suspensions came down for that Brewers/Pirates melee.
• Russell Martin challenged Martin Maldonado to a off-season fight for charity. Maldonado wisely passed on commenting on Martin's challenge.
• Craig Calcaterra has no idea what "respect the game" means and says that no one else does either.
• Now it's time for the Butcher's Bill. As expected, doctors recommended to Ivan Nova that he undergo Tommy John surgery. If he does, he'll be the 18th pitcher to have the surgery in 2014.
• Vidal Nuno will take Nova's spot in the Yankees rotation.
• Matt Moore had successful Tommy John surgery.
• Chris Sale went on the DL with forearm tightness, but an MRI showed no damage to his UCL. So for now, at least, it looks like he'll avoid the knife.
• Grant Brisbee tells the critics who say "I told you so" about Sale that they don't know what they're talking about and neither does anyone else.
• Manny Machado will start his rehab assignment on Friday.
• Tony Gwynn is "doing good" in his battle with cancer.
• The Red Sox have a "sleep room" and are studying how to use sleep to improve athletic performance. Lee Smith was 30 years ahead of you guys.
• Jacoby Ellsbury was roundly booed on his return to Fenway Park.
• He enjoyed returning to Boston anyway.
• Red Sox manager John Farrell thinks that to speed up the game, MLB needs to take the replay challenge out of the hands of managers. Amen.
• Speaking of replay, Yunel Escobar struck out on a 4-2 count. That's not supposed to happen, right?
• Jack Moore says that the Yankees don't need Mark Teixeira to go back to being his old self. They just need him to be productive.
• That's in part because the Yankees are getting excellent production from minimum wage performers Dean Anna and Yangervis Solarte.
• Rob Neyer thinks that MLB needs to reinforce, not weaken, the rules against home plate collisions. On the other hand, the "transfer rule" controversy that everyone is complaining about, Neyer couldn't care less about.
• David Hale is a smart pitcher because he has to be. Also, because he has a degree in economics from Princeton.
• Despite all the moves they made this offseason, the Mariners are off to a slow start again.
• Jonathan Bernhardt thinks that despite Cleveland being in last place, they still have plenty of time and talent to recover.
• Russell Carleton examines whether or not hitters should bunt against the shift.
• The Mets actually wore these uniforms. Although once you've worn the "Mercury Mets" uniforms, everything else looks good by comparison.
• Bob Uecker is getting a second statue in Miller Park in the "front row" of the stadium.
• Ozzie Guillen wishes he were a cat. You mean he's not?
• Finally, I find the "walk-up music" thing in baseball to be pretty annoying. So I applaud anyone who mocks it. Now I don't actually know that Nationals infielder Zach Walters is intentionally mocking it by having various songs from "Frozen" as his walk-up music. Maybe he's just a fan of Disney musicals. But it doesn't matter what his intent was. He's ironically skewering the whole practice whether he means to or not. Bravo.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.