Which Cubs Player Should You Ask to Prom?

Oh no! I'm a teenage girl. It's prom time. And I don't have a date! But which Cubs player to ask? Who would be the best Cub to show up with on my arm for the defining moment of my high school experience? They all make enough money to hire a limo and buy me flowers, but I should weigh the pros and cons of the contenders before I decide...

Of course Anthony Rizzo is the obvious choice. But he's he most popular guy in school! There's no way he'd go with me. I'm too nervous to even talk to him….he's soooo dreamy….

My mom says "Why don't you go with that nice boy Darwin who used to cut our lawn?" But I'm not so sure….with the way he's hitting I doubt he'll even get to first base with me. I want my prom night to be romantic and special!

Brian and I used to date freshman year, but he broke up with me after I was too scared to ride on his ATV. I totally wish I did it too, because he ended up going out with my my worst enemy Amanda for a whole 6 months and he even took her bear hunting! Then again, his long hair and beard make him look like Mountain Man Jesus. Do you think he'd pick me up on his ATV? OMG! I hope not!

This picture is from last year's prom when he went his his long distance girlfriend. I didn't even know him then because he just transferred to my school from Houston. I don't think they're together anymore, but I'm not sure. Either way he's cute, and I've never kissed a lefty! He kind of looks like a little kid though...

Jeff and I were in the school play last year: The Three Musketeers. I would totally ask Jeff, cause we're friends and I know he doesn't have a date yet. But he kept his stupid Musketeer hair and mustache cause he won best actor and now he thinks it makes him look cool. I also heard his family is moving away from Chicago in July. Maybe it's better not to start something with him.

I took this picture of Emilio when we went on a choir trip to Cincinnati. Cute? Totes! We made out on the bus, but just when I thought he was going to second base, he ended up saying something out of left field. He's kind of all over the place and I think he likes to play the field. Maybe he just got nervous because he likes me. Just not really that attracted to bald guys though...

Well… there you have it. That's my short list of who to ask to prom. I have to ask soon because the prom's in 2 weeks! Won't you help me decide?