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Cubs Heroes and Goats: Game 126

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Feeling frustrated by yet another horrible Edwin Jackson start? This is the place for you!

A very familiar scene when it comes to Number 36.
A very familiar scene when it comes to Number 36.
David Banks

When I was in high school, there was a variety show every year in which students would perform all manner of routines, a lot of which were song-and-dance numbers and comedy skits. It was the biggest event of the year, something everyone looked forward to. One year, four of my friends performed a barbershop quartet version of the song "One More Minute" by Weird Al Yankovic, and it was the highlight of the entire show. Brought the house down. In case you're not familiar with the song and aren't able to check out the video, the song details the things that Weird Al would rather do than spend one more minute with the girlfriend that just left him.

In the spirit of that song, and as a fun way to vent some frustration, I invite all of the Heroes and Goats readers to come up with the thing you'd rather do than watch Edwin Jackson make one more start. All I ask is that you keep it clean and within community guidelines. Aside from that, have fun with it.

Graphs for Game 126 (courtesy of Fangraphs):

Game-126

Stats for Game 126:

Pitcher

IP

H

HR

ER

BB

SO

pLI

WPA

K Fujikawa

2

2

0

0

0

3

0.03

.003

W Wright

1

2

0

0

0

2

0.08

.003

C Villanueva

3.1

2

1

1

0

3

0.14

.000

E Jackson

2.2

8

1

7

2

2

0.88

-.483

Total

9

14

2

8

2

10

0.44

-.477

Batter

AB

R

H

HR

RBI

BB

SO

pLI

WPA

C Valaika

4

1

1

1

2

0

1

0.43

.105

L Valbuena

4

2

3

1

1

0

0

0.33

.081

E Jackson

1

0

1

0

0

0

0

0.86

.022

J Baker

4

0

2

0

0

0

1

0.23

.011

C Villanueva

1

0

0

0

0

0

1

0.21

-.005

M Szczur

1

0

0

0

0

0

1

0.28

-.007

C Coghlan

4

0

1

0

0

0

2

0.69

-.022

R Sweeney

4

0

1

0

0

0

0

0.56

-.039

J Baez

4

0

1

0

0

0

0

0.56

-.046

A Rizzo

4

0

1

0

0

0

0

0.39

-.049

A Alcantara

4

0

0

0

0

0

3

0.59

-.074

Total

35

3

11

2

3

0

9

0.47

-.023

Writer's Note: The daily selections of the three Heroes and three Goats are based solely on the top three and bottom three WPA scores for the game. The selections are not based on my subjective opinion.

THE THREE GOATS:

  • Billy Goat - Edwin Jackson (-.483). I'll start, and I fully admit that I'm not a very creative guy.  I'd rather eat an entire bowl of badly burnt popcorn than watch another Edwin Jackson start.
  • Goat - Arismendy Alcantara (-.074). Still struggling in the month of August.
  • Kid - Anthony Rizzo (-.049). Primarily due to his double play in the third inning.

THE THREE HEROES:

  • Superhero - Chris Valaika (.105). Tried to get the Cubs back in it with his two-run shot in the second.
  • Hero - Luis Valbuena (.081). His second 3-for-4 day in three games, this time with a homer. He apparently misses being a part of the over-.750 club.
  • Sidekick - Edwin Jackson, the hitter (.022). I Googled the word "irony" and this came up: "a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result." If this podium placement doesn't fit that definition to a T, I don't know what does.
    UPDATED RANKINGS THROUGH GAME 126 (Changes in Bold, Notations Below):

x - Player not on 25-man roster.
y - Player not on 40-man roster.
z - Player no longer with Cubs.

Heroes

1st

2nd

3rd

Total

Anthony Rizzo

15

11

10

77

Starlin Castro

14.5

8.5

8.5

69

Luis Valbuena

12

9

6

60

Welington Castillo

9

5.5

3.5

41.5

Justin Ruggiano

5.5

9.5

3

38.5

Jake Arrieta

7

4

1

30

Chris Coghlan

6

5

1

29

z-Jason Hammel

5

4

5

28

z-Nate Schierholtz

4

6

3

27

Ryan Sweeney

2

6

6.5

24.5

z-Jeff Samardzija

6

2

2

24

Travis Wood

5

4

1

24

z-Emilio Bonifacio

1

9

1

22

x-Mike Olt

3

3

6

21

x-Junior Lake

3

3

4

19

x-Brian Schlitter

1

4.5

7

19

z-Darwin Barney

3.5

2.5

1

16.5

Edwin Jackson

4

1

2

16

Arismendy Alcantara

3

2

3

16

Pedro Strop

1

3

7

16

Kyle Hendricks

4

1.5

0.5

15.5

John Baker

1

4

3

14

Hector Rondon

0

1

10.5

12.5

Tsuyoshi Wada

3

1

0

11

Carlos Villanueva

0

3

5

11

Wesley Wright

0.5

3.5

2

10.5

y-Ryan Kalish

3

0

1

10

z-James Russell

0

2

6

10

Justin Grimm

0

2

6

10

Neil Ramirez

0

0.5

5.5

6.5

Chris Valaika

2

0

0

6

Javier Baez

0

2

1

5

x-Zac Rosscup

0

2

0

4

x-Dallas Beeler

1

0

0

3

x-Chris Rusin

1

0

0

3

x-Blake Parker

0

0

3

3

Jacob Turner

0

1

0

2

Kyuji Fujikawa

0

0

1

1

Goats

1st

2nd

3rd

Total

z-Nate Schierholtz

8

12

7

55

Starlin Castro

5

11.5

14

52

Luis Valbuena

7

7.5

11.5

47.5

Edwin Jackson

12

3

1

43

Travis Wood

10

4

2

40

x-Junior Lake

6

6

8

38

Anthony Rizzo

2

10

8

34

Welington Castillo

3

8.5

7.5

33.5

Chris Coghlan

5

5

5

30

x-Mike Olt

5

3

6

27

Justin Ruggiano

2

7

6

26

z-Emilio Bonifacio

1

9

4

25

Justin Grimm

7

0.5

2.5

24.5

z-Jason Hammel

7

1

0

23

Hector Rondon

6

2

1

23

Carlos Villanueva

5

1

3

20

z-James Russell

3

3

5

20

Ryan Sweeney

3

3

2.5

17.5

Arismendy Alcantara

1

6

2

17

Pedro Strop

3

3

1

16

John Baker

3

1

5

16

z-Jeff Samardzija

4

1

1

15

z-Darwin Barney

0

6

3

15

Wesley Wright

3

1

3

14

x-Brian Schlitter

2

3

1

13

Jake Arrieta

3

0

3

12

z-Jose Veras

2

1

1

9

y-Ryan Kalish

1

2

2

9

Neil Ramirez

2

0

0

6

y-Eli Whiteside

1

0

3

6

x-Blake Parker

1

0

2

5

x-Dallas Beeler

1

0

1

4

Kyle Hendricks

0

1

2

4

Javier Baez

0

1

2

4

Tsuyoshi Wada

1

0

0

3

x-Dan Straily

1

0

0

3

Chris Valaika

0

1

0

2

Matt Szczur

0

1

0

2

x-Chris Rusin

0

1

0

2

Overall

Hero

Goat

+/-

Anthony Rizzo

77

34

43

Jake Arrieta

30

12

18

Starlin Castro

69

52

17

Luis Valbuena

60

47.5

12.5

Justin Ruggiano

38.5

26

12.5

Kyle Hendricks

15.5

4

11.5

z-Jeff Samardzija

24

15

9

Welington Castillo

41.5

33.5

8

Tsuyoshi Wada

11

3

8

Ryan Sweeney

24.5

17.5

7

x-Brian Schlitter

19

13

6

z-Jason Hammel

28

23

5

Chris Valaika

6

2

4

x-Zac Rosscup

4

0

4

Jacob Turner

2

0

2

z-Darwin Barney

16.5

15

1.5

y-Ryan Kalish

10

9

1

Javier Baez

5

4

1

x-Chris Rusin

3

2

1

Kyuji Fujikawa

1

0

1

Neil Ramirez

6.5

6

0.5

Pedro Strop

16

16

0

Chris Coghlan

29

30

-1

Arismendy Alcantara

16

17

-1

x-Dallas Beeler

3

4

-1

John Baker

14

16

-2

x-Blake Parker

3

5

-2

Matt Szczur

0

2

-2

z-Emilio Bonifacio

22

25

-3

x-Dan Straily

0

3

-3

Wesley Wright

10.5

14

-3.5

x-Mike Olt

21

27

-6

y-Eli Whiteside

0

6

-6

Carlos Villanueva

11

20

-9

z-Jose Veras

0

9

-9

z-James Russell

10

20

-10

Hector Rondon

12.5

23

-10.5

Justin Grimm

10

24.5

-14.5

Travis Wood

24

40

-16

x-Junior Lake

19

38

-19

Edwin Jackson

16

43

-27

z-Nate Schierholtz

27

55

-28